Freefall // Hyunlix

The Sea Of Red

<Hyunjin POV>

"Felix?!" I called out but he ignored me.

"Felix please answer me?!!" I cried out to him but still nothing, what was wrong? Felix would never ignore me like this unless I had done something to upset him. I was about to turn away to give him some space when I saw a gleam in his eyes. Hatred.

"I hate you Hyunjin, why are you even in Stray Kids, I wish you would just leave!" Felix spat, venom flowing through every word.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, the man I cared for most -my angel- hated me? My heart shattered into thousands of pieces, I felt as if the world had ended, my hopes and dreams strewn out onto the floor.

"Why" was all I could muster. I felt so broken, so empty. I could feel the river of tears flowing down my face and it took everything in me not to let out a sob.

"Why?!" Felix laughed maniacally, his face twisting and morphing into the face of my nightmares.

"You're just a visual, I mean what skills do you ACTUALLY have Hyunjin? You can't sing or dance and it's not exactly like you're a good rapper either. Even your visual is flawed, you eat too much, you're a dirty pig! You eat more than Channie hyung and Innie combined and yet you think that's okay!? I honestly don't see why you were put into the group if all you are going to do is tear us apart. For god's sake you can't even go a day without fighting with one of the members, not to mention how long it took to coax you into becoming friends with Jisung. It's pathetic Hyunjin. Pathetic. Just leave already, it will do us all a favour"

I couldn't breathe- it was all too much. They really hate me, don't they? I stumbled away from Felix, my vision blurry, and sank to the ground. I brought my knees up to my chest and curled up on them; wrapping myself as tightly as I could muster. I hoped it would bring me courage but all I could feel was crushing dread. The voices danced around in my head, taunting me, his words echoing in my brain.

"Hyunjin"

I could feel myself trembling, sweat soaking through my clothes, it was disgusting. Everything Felix said was right and I had no one to blame but myself. I should have tried harder, eaten less, maybe even taken more vocal lessons. Regret and guilt ripped through me, my chest feeling crushingly tight. I can't breathe.

"Hyunjin"

Maybe I should just leave Stray Kids, I could just slip away. It's not like the members would miss me anyway- I'm a burden to them and I always will be. I can feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins, it was a powerful rush and I know what I must do. To my surprise I discover a small blade in my pocket. It was too convenient, too easy. I watch as the blade sinks into my flesh and I felt empty. The red liquid spilled everywhere creating a tumultuous mess, I pitied the members who would have to clean up after me. Even with leaving, I'm still causing them problems. I can feel myself grow tired, darkness is gripping the edges of my vision and I just want it to end.

"HYUNJIN STOP THAT!?"

I awoke with a start feeling hands shaking my body, I was terrified.