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☪︎ ☪︎ ☪︎ ☪︎
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"Carter. I'm standing in one of my favorite places in the world, surrounded by food, music, art, and culture, and all I can think about is how much I want to share it with you. Maybe one day you'll let me. I miss you so much, love." Nik's voice speaks through my phone. The voicemail ends, and I just stare at my phone. He's been calling and leaving messages, but I haven't responded. I wouldn't know what to say anyway. I don't even think I could converse with him without crying.
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I just know I can't go back. I can't be around him right now or the baby. I'm starting to think it's best that Hayley has it now. Everything around me right now is unsafe for her...if she's even still a girl. My womb seems to be cursed. This is the second child I have lost; the only difference is this one will live but not with me. I will not be the first face it sees when opening its eyes for the first time. Not calling me ma-ma and watching me cry joyfully for every little amazing thing they would do. But they will have Niklaus. He will be a wonderful father, and seeing him dote over something small and precious will be unique. He will always be the shining knight in their story.
