Good Cop Gone Bad ~ Rewritten

22| promise

•Matteo Rossi•

"You cannot be serious, Allegra!" I say loudly as she continues this argument that she has had with me for over a week now. She has been upset with me and I don't like it but at this point, with the actions she has taken, she can't even defend herself anymore. She cornered me into my office a few minutes ago and started lecturing me.
"I have already told you I don't think you should get with her! She can ruin your life as easily as you could ruin anyone else's. Probably easier. Any dirt on you, if she finds out then you're going to prison. Do you fucking understand that? Your entire life gone within seconds. What? For some girl?" Allegra yells at me.
How the fuck can she be talking? She's dating her sister already! "You cannot be talking. You are putting yourself in the same danger! You're going on a date with her sister! And she is not just some girl." I remind her.
She sighs angrily before continuing. "Dating the sister of a government agent is not the same as dating an actual government agent!"
"It's essentially the same thing! You know as well as I do that they rely on each other for everything. Anything Laura finds out about me, or about you, is going directly to Aria."
          She rolls her eyes at me, even beginning to tear up "If she's not just some girl then what is she? Are you telling me that this will all be worth it no matter what happens because there's a slight chance she might be the love of your life?" she yells at me.
"Goddamnit Allegra! Do you not fucking realize I actually like this girl? Everyone has been telling me for years that I needed a change in my life. That maybe someone like her in my life would make me find some happiness in my life. And now I have one of the only girls in the country who does not know me as some fucking scary rich guy, she can get to know me as myself. And I felt that shit too! I needed a change! And then I met her and just listening to her talk makes me appreciate every little thing! Her smile, my eyes, the flowers outside, the fucking sunrise, it all looks fucking gorgeous to me now because of her! She makes me fucking happy. I have this immunity and protection so what if she is a government agent? The chances that I will get arrested are lower than the chances of her actually fucking loving me. Let me fucking be happy Allegra! This is the only thing I have had in years!" I yell, finally losing it. I just want to be fucking happy. And the girl who makes me happy happens to be an agent who is against me. If I was just careful then it would all be fine.
I knew I shouldn't have yelled but I was frustrated and I just can't deal with this right now. I'm doing the one thing they have wanted me to do for years because I finally found a girl who wants to know me and I still somehow find a way to fuck it up. I can never satisfy them all at the same time. Allegra walks out of the office and slams the door. I sigh, running my hands through my hair and then falling into my chair.
I open my drawer and pull out the bottle of whiskey. Not healthy but I did not know what else to do. I grabbed the glass cup and filled it about half way. I took it all in at once and groaned, putting it back inside the drawer. I went out to my balcony, which has a view of a bunch of extra land on the estate. It has no buildings on it, only a lot of green grass, with some beautiful plants scattered throughout.
I lit a cigar and looked out, thinking of how my melodia would say how she thinks everything is so beautiful. How the sunrise and sunset are both so beautiful. The flowers, the plants, they were all so pretty to her. Something that before her, I had never taken even a moment out of my day to appreciate.
          I had even stared at myself in the mirror for a minute this morning while brushing my teeth in the mirror. I noticed my features, some rarer than others. My green eyes and dimples are what she appreciated the most. I had never even thought about them before, but now I noticed them, and how she was able to see the beauty in something after a few weeks of knowing me, that I had failed to notice in my 27 years of life.
          And even though she can be a little grump at times, with her little attitude, she still found a way to appreciate the beautiful simplicity of every little thing she saw. She is gentle and kind, but also very determined. From the day I met her, I knew she was a person who cared. She cared emotionally for herself and her sister, although I still did not know what had happened with her parents. If she found something that was worth it, she cared for it immensely.
          The promise I made her was one of the only promises I have ever made in my life. I will do whatever it takes to give my melodia the life she has always dreamed of. Especially if it is with me.