Good Cop Gone Bad ~ Rewritten

26| killer

•Matteo Rossi•

          I was fucking livid. Watching that man hold Aria at gun point. My Aria, my melodia. Holding her like that, his arm around her neck preventing her from breathing. I wanted to fucking kill him right at that second, he needed to suffer.
         But obviously I could not just pull a gun out like that in front of everyone. I also did not have one with me which now I regret deeply.
As soon as that testa di cazzo that she works with grabbed her away from the man, she looked for me and ran to me. I caught her happily in my arms, so unbelievably relieved and happy that she was okay. Now, after the chaos of that, and this stupid ass letter that she received, she is asleep in my arms in her room.
I hid my anger in front of her because I wanted to help her feel better, but the car ride over here was absolutely horrible. A lot of people do not know who I am, but Romano and Esposito, who are now the prime minister and president, do know because their families have been business partners for years.
On my way to get us some dinner, I called them and asked them to hand that bastardo over. They refused at first, seeing as they did not know why I would want to have that criminal with me, but not have him join the mafia. When I told them what had happened, they actually considered it, since they now knew about Aria.
They also asked me if she knew who I really was, and I of course had to say no. They agreed that I should keep it that way and decided to release him to me. I had one of my men pick him up and bring him to a warehouse not in my estate. I will take care of him tomorrow when I can. But right now in this moment, all I am worrying about is not waking up my melodia.
She fell asleep pretty quickly when we came to bed. I was just upset that she felt the need to clarify that we would not be doing anything sexual tonight. I feel like I have not done a well enough job of showing her that I want more than just a sexual relationship, it is not always only going to be that. And when she asked me to stay, I was just excited. It was weird, I am usually never excited for things, because what would I get excited for? I was excited she wanted to spend more time with me.
All of the advice I gave her last night was the same advice that was given to me years ago and still to this day repeatedly, but I honestly do not use. I know that I should, especially now seeing from a different perspective how it is like when someone that has just quite literally been traumatized just automatically goes to hiding it, and just acting unemotional or upset. I still do not take that advice, although I know I should. But I did not know who I would go to. I have Aria, but I cannot tell her things about the mafia. I have my family but I do not want to burden them with those things so I end up back where I always was.
I do not have the sleeping pills with me, so I thought it would be hard to fall asleep, however, I am getting very tired very quickly with her here in my arms, her breathing steady, her face glowing in the dimly lit room, her purple nightlight managing to illuminate most of the room. Her arm is around my torso and I lift mine from her waist to push her hair out of her face. I softly trace her facial features, admiring the way they all go together perfectly. Because as much as people say that no one is perfect, I have no choice but to disagree. My Aria is perfect, effortlessly perfect, and nothing she does could change my mind about that.
She mumbles something in her sleep and I fear that I have woken her up, however, she just turns around so she is facing the other way. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her all the way to me, her back pressed to my front and I rest my face into her neck. It was so easy to fall asleep after that.

•••••

"NO! OH MY GOD! LAURA STOP!" I heard Aria screaming in her sisters room, so I run into the hallway to see what is going on. I see Aria running out of the room, bumping into me.
That was not the first thing today that had startled me. Aria woke up to get ready for work but had a very confused look on her face. She sat up on the bed and looked around, looking completely dumbfounded. I remembered her pointing to the window in her room and asking me if that was the sun. I nodded because yes the sun had already come out and then her exclamation of how weird it was, then she just got up. I had no clue what that had been about but I just got up and changed into my clothes from yesterday which she had neatly folded up and left in the restroom for me.
"Melodia? What is wrong?" I ask her and she looks very scared.
"There is a spider in her room. I fucking hate bugs." she whines so I pull her into me, smoothing out the hair at the top of her head in a comforting manner.
I sigh, "I will go in there and take care of it, sì?" I ask and she nods gratefully, leaning up to press a kiss onto my lips. I kiss her and then go into her sisters room, after knocking of course.
The first thing I see when I go in is Laura holding the spider on a piece of paper literally cooing. The spider was not small but also not large. She's cooing at it as if it were a little baby, the cutest thing in the world, but their cat, who is on Laura's bed, is growling at the piece of paper from below.
"Peanut! Stop it!" she says to the cat who does not stop "Can we keep it? What if we name it 'butter'? You know, like peanut butter?" she explains, speaking about the spider who is crawling around on the piece of paper. Aria named their cat peanut because of Laura's peanut allergy.
I sighed, "As dear as this interaction is, you know we cannot keep a spider. They are not pets, and your sister is terrified of bugs." I say as I attempt to take the piece of paper from her hands.
She groans. "Aria is a literal agent. She uses guns and she fights and stuff and she can't handle a cute little spider?" she whines, trying to pull back. I give her a look and she gives me the paper, letting her head fall forward in defeat. I walk around and over the clothes all over the floor and make my way to the window. I place the paper against the outside wall and the spider crawls off, making its way away from the window.
I close it quickly and turn back to Laura. "It is happier out there." I tell her and she sticks her tongue out at me.
"Meschino." she says turning away from me as I walk out of the room. She reminds me to much of Alessandro it is insane. They are going to be best friends and with me dating Aria and Allegra dating Laura, they will be spending a lot of time together. I make my way to the kitchen where Aria is making herself a smoothie. (mean)
"Is it gone?" she asks and I nod. She smiles contently as I come up behind her, wrapping both arms around her. I rest my face in the crook of her neck and inhale her scent. Her hair, as always, smelled like strawberry shampoo, which she had told me she had been using for as long as she could remember. I placed a few kisses there as she continued as she had been doing, when something comes to mind.
"Why were you so confused this morning when you woke up?" I asked her and she shrugged.
"It is nothing important." she mumbles, but her body stiffened against mine and I could tell she was holding back.
I spun her around, making her face me and she sucked in a deep breath. "Sweetheart," I said softly. "Do not lie to me. What was wrong?" I ask her, she looks down, avoiding eye contact with me and she seems embarrassed.
"Just..." she sighs "...it was the first night in years that I had not woken up in the middle of the night due to a nightmare. It felt weird so I was confused. That's all." she admits, barely mumbling the words. Her cheeks are red and she still refuses to look at me. She really did not want to tell me and I feel bad for prying but she cannot hide these things forever. "I have never talked about it before so it feels weird to." she says finally looking up, her eyes glossing over with tears.
          "Why is that?" I ask her softly, not wanting my deep voice and normally intimidating disposition to be of any discomfort to her.
          She blinked and looked away once more. She could not keep her eyes on me for long. It was as if she was ashamed of what she was about to tell me, like she never wanted anyone to know this part of her. "I do not like telling people. I do not like trusting people with all of those things about me. I prefer to keep those things hidden." she mumbles, as a tear slips down her face. I reach up to wipe it away, my thumb caressing her cheek, her soft skin feeling incredibly warm as it has a pink hue to it.
          "Melodia, you need to talk to someone. It does not matter to who, but you cannot keep all of these things in. If they are keeping you up at night then you should get them off of your mind. You have already trusted me with the most intimate parts of yourself. Why not with this?" I ask curiously, not wanting to push too far, but still very concerned for her. I found it odd, caring for someone like this. Especially someone that I met only a little over a month ago at this point, but sometimes the best things come at the most unexpected times. And Aria is definitely an amazing thing that has happened to me.
          Her arms were crossed over her chest and she looked down at her feet as she breathed in and out slowly, trying to control her tears. "It's just that.." she sighs between words, "...it is easier to trust someone with my body than with my mind. My body has already been disrespected in ways that cannot be reversed. But my mind is still mine. I can protect it. So when I get hurt, at least I still have myself, my secrets, something no one can take advantage of again or at all." she explains. It takes me a few seconds to process everything she has just said, but as I do, a look of regret takes over her face.
            My body has already been disrespected in ways that cannot be reversed.
            Does that mean that she's been...
            Oh melodia mia, how I wish I could change your past to one of lesser pain. How I wish you could open up to me without having to relive all of this. How I wish you would let me protect you instead of you constantly fighting to protect yourself in a battle that is not coming your way. I will always be there for you, even when you do not think it. I will always care for you even when you do not believe you want it. That is the promise I am making to you even if you do not know it.
          "That is not the only thing, but it was the most recent nightmare. I try to push everything aside because it should not bother me anymore but I still let it affect me.." she mumbles, as I take her in my arms and hold her against me. I could feel her body shaking against mine, she wrapped her arms around my torso and leaned onto me, not wanting to let go. Sì, melodia mia, rely on me, let me help you.
          I rubbed her back as she began to sob into my chest, finally letting go of her frustrations. She was letting go of it all, and she began to collapse. I got onto the floor and let her body fall on top of mine, she straddled my lap as I leaned my back onto the kitchen counter.
          She squeezed me tight, her sobs muffled by the fabric of my shirt. My hands were rubbing up and down her back, and in her hair, running my fingers through it soothingly. I had never comforted anyone like this before but it felt normal and easy.
          "I am not as strong as everyone thinks I am, Matteo. And I hate it. Why do I have to be so weak? Why do I let everything affect me? It all happened so long ago. The entire time I was living with my parents, it was for a long time, but it was also long ago. Not that it is any better now. But still, I just want to be numb, I don't want to feel any of it. I do not want their words or their actions to affect me." she sobs into my neck, her breathing becoming ragged as she tries to control the tears. Her grip on me was weakening and I could tell she was not in the mood to get through today. Having to go to work after being held at gun point just last night and deal with those people.
          I ran my fingers through her hair one more time before responding. "No, it is the opposite, melodia mia. You are so so strong. You got through all of it, you are still here thriving. You finally trusted someone enough to at least tell them something. And thank you so much for trusting me. You did it all alone and you still managed to create an amazing life for yourself and for your sister. You were able to move to another country. Even in the times when you felt like everything was against you, you were still able to push through, and you are so incredibly amazing for that. You are not weak, melodia. You are simply human. These things are going to affect you, and that is okay, you cannot expect yourself to be emotionless. That is not how we are made. And I am so glad you are not numb. Because you are able to be here with me, being your caring, loving, so beautifully kind, and warm self. You would not be all of that if you were numb. You are perfect as you are. So strong. Not weak, never weak." I tell her as her breathing slows. She begins to relax into me, still crying a little bit, but not fully sobbing as she was before.
          She pulls away from me, still straddling my lap, my hands rested on her hips, soothingly rubbing up and down her sides. She plays with her hands as she was once again refusing to look at me. When she finally did look up, her eyes were red and still full of tears. Her lips were very pink and her bottom one quivered as if she was holding in a sob.
          Letting out a shaky breath, she leans forward so her head is resting on my chest and my chin is resting at the top of her head. "It feels so weird." she mumbles, so quietly it was almost inaudible.
          "What is weird, melodia?" I ask her.
          "Meeting your parents. Having someone care for me. I just do not understand why they are so nice to me. My parents, they just... are not the best. I guess I just assumed they would not like me. Especially since every time I have seen them, I am wearing pajamas and we are at a hospital." she explains almost jokingly. But of course my parents would love her. She is so sweet, and they would automatically respect and care for her since she is with me. They trust me obviously, they know I would like a girl who is amazing, and a good person.
          I run my hands through her hair again. "They love you, melodia. They care for you. You are with me, so they will always treat you like a daughter. They want me to take you to dinner at my house the day after tomorrow, actually. Do you want to go?" I ask her. They have been asking to see her again almost every single day.
          She nods softly against me. "Mamma is very sweet, and she is so easy to talk to. And papà is very kind. And I know he is supportive because of all the stuff he told me the other day. They are amazing people." she says, calming down more. She finally let her body fully relax against mine. There were no clenched fists, she was not shaking anymore, there were just a few sniffles here and there. She was calm. "I just do not like telling people these things. Or showing people this side of me. People like the side of me that I show, and there is no guarantee that they will like the side that I hide. So I keep it hidden. That way, I will not upset anyone." she mumbles against me.
"All of you is perfect. Always. You are going to get upset and be emotional, all of these things are going to make you sad. It is understandable why. But that does not mean that these things make you any less amazing. You do not need to hide these things anymore, I will be here, and I will never make you feel bad for things that you have been through and you have no control over. You are perfect. Every side. Even the hidden ones." I tell her. She hugs me, holding me against her. I do the same, rubbing my hands up and down her back.
As she pulls away, she kisses my cheek, then my lips, but then she hugs me again. "Thank you. For being here. For caring like no one else has. For being an amazing person." she tells me. I smile to myself and kiss her cheek.
"Always, melodia mia."