🌓 Inhuman (Gravity Falls Dipper x Reader) 🌗

🌒 Ep.5: Soos And The Real Girl 🌒

~~~~~~~~~Dipper's POV~~~~~~~~~

For the first time in a while, today had been a day that had been more or less relaxing and without any supernatural surprises. Just us employees sitting around the gift shop praying no customers would interrupt our peace until the end of our shifts.

Even Mabel had been behaving less annoyingly, spending most of the day in a corner with Waddles and occasionally singing at the top of her lungs, which was honestly very mild compared to other days. It wasn't until she came back from a bathroom break that the peace was interrupted by her skipping into the room, singing loudly, and crashing into the door as she screamed, "Braces!! Braces caught in the screen door!! Someone dictate my will!! I'm giving it all to Waddles!!"

I was about to help as I tried not to get a headache when Soos went ahead of me holding a screwdriver, "Say 'ah', girl dude."

Mabel did as told, keeping her mouth opened as Soos untangled her braces off the door. Once she was back on the ground, she smiled at him, "Soos, you saved me!"

He chuckled in response, "Just doing my job, hambone. I'll see you dudes tomorrow."

So we all said our goodbyes to Soos and paid no attention as he left the gift shop. Well, all except for Mabel, who kept her gaze on him from inside. Then she raised an eyebrow and asked, "You ever wonder what Soos does when he's not here at the Mystery Shack?"

"No," (y/n) and I said in unison, followed by Wendy, then Stan.

"Not really."

"Not even once."

I think she question stayed in her mind until the next day, but she didn't bring it up again. Instead, I was unfortunately a witness to one of Stan's eighteenth century toys he still had lying around.

A kid passed by, flicking a nickel and blissfully looking around. That is, until Stan smelled his money and stopped him in place, "Hello!!" The kid screamed as a result, and Stan just went along with it. "Please, don't let my horrible elderly face frighten you! Don't you want to use that nickel to get a nugget from ol' Goldie?!"

He took off the cloak, revealing the statue of a man kneeling down with his mouth open and hand extended forward (though not as dirty looking as it sounds), all tinted in bronze. I think it was meant to be some sort of robot, but even I could tell it was far too yanked now to work.

Still, Stan snatched the nickel from the kid's hand and slipped it into Goldie's mouth. The machine then raised his arm and hat, like a greeting in the old days, but things started getting traumatizing when the eyes popped out of their sockets and oil starting heavily trailing down his face, followed by a scream of bloody murder.

Needless to say, the kid ran away crying, and I just hoped the parents would have enough money to pay for his now needed therapy.

I debated whether or not to make a comment about it, Stan always got weirdly territorial about his merch, so I decided against it. Thankfully, Wendy commented instead, which I was grateful for. "Okay, seriously, Mr. Pines. It's time to throw that thing out! Its face reminds everyone of the inevitability of death."

"What?!" Stan yelled back, "Sure, he's a little rusty around the edges, but old Goldie's a classic showstopper like me!!" He went to rest his hand on the table Goldie sat on, slipping on the oil and making his hand land inside Goldie's mouth and bite, not letting go as Stan desperately hit the robot against the table, "KILL IT, KILL IT!!"