At least i'm trying- Taylor Swift story

04

09.16.2023
Saturday

Narrator pov

After dinner, everyone moved into the living room, except Lexie who mumbled something about going to the bathroom.

She didn't really need to go to the bathroom, but she was barely keeping it together. The food was too much for her both emotionally and physically, as her stomach was still hurting but she kept telling herself that she's not sick and to prove that, she would keep the food down, but she couldn't do that next to everyone else, so she had to get away.

Luckily she managed to find a guest bedroom and hid there. She curled into a fetal position on the bed, as she squeezed her legs close to her chest and rocked back and forth. She played her playlist, which she found quickly as she's been listening to it all day except at dinner.

She was quietly repeating to herself things like:
'that had WAY too many calories'
'you know that logically it wasn't enough food for a person your height and age, so at least keep it down'
'You're strong and you're not fat'
'Okay that's a lie, you are fat but that was technically still under eating and you can't puke at their house, so shut up and keep the food down.'
'You're not sick'
'You don't have an eating disorder, you're fine'

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In the living room Scott and Wyatt decided to watch a documentary about something war-related, Beatrice and Andrea started talking about something completely unrelated and the boys talked about how drone and helicopter filmed footage differs.

But after noticing that Alexa didn't make it to the living room with everyone, Taylor got worried because of the girl's strange behavior during dinner, so she decided to find her to make sure she's not doing anything stupid in the bathroom.

To Taylor's surprise, all the bathrooms were empty, but she heard whimpering from one of the guest rooms. Quietly, she cracked the door open and was surprised to see her Lexie curled up on the bed. As she listened to what the girl was telling herself, her heart broke. The girl was struggling in silence with probably no one there that she could talk to. She was surprised to hear her music quietly playing.

She figured that Lexie is just seeking comfort in the music, but she couldn't just leave her alone, when she's this upset . She quietly walked in, grateful for the carpet and door not making much noise. She walked over to the small figure on the bed, who her her eyes shut tightly, as he kept talking to herself, too upset to notice the new presence in the room, and pulled Lexie into a tight hug, in which the younger girl froze for a second, but quickly accepted.

Taylor started humming along to the song that she quickly recognized as her own: mirrorball while hugging the younger girl tightly. She quietly hummed along to all the songs that played while Lexie focused on keeping her breath steady- she didn't want to spiral into a panic attack, because that would most likely cause her to cry, and she doesn't have a way of hiding the aftermath of crying right now.

After about 15 minutes, Alexa, who was still trapped in the hug felt calm enough to get out  a coherent sentence.

"I'm sorry, i can usually keep myself under control." Lexie said quietly, with a slightly shaky voice.

"Hey, don't apologize for struggling." Taylor responded.

"How often does that happen though?" She asked.

"Not that often, i'm just having a bad day"
the younger girl replied.

"How often and how much do you eat though Lexie?" the blonde singer asked gently lifting the girl's chin up.

"Most of the time i force myself to eat something everyday" The girl said, looking down.

"I heard what you were telling yourself earlier, and i want you to know that you're not fat and you deserve food."

"I know that, but the bad side of my brain gets loud sometimes."

"I want you to know that you can always talk to me, I'm just a phone call away, okay?" the singer said.

"Thank you." Alexa replied gratefully.

"Come on, let's get back to the rest" said Taylor, as she felt the girl loosen her grip.

"Can you not tell everyone though, i don't have that kind of relationship with my parents" the girl asked.

"As long as you promise to talk to me, this can stay between us." The singer said confidently, as she she saw that the girl is trying her best to eat, and her response  to eating 'too much' was to cry it out instead of making herself sick.

"You know, it looks pretty bad, but this is me trying" Lexie said, laughing sadly at the irony of the situation.

"I know, now come on, do you want me to show you my guitar?" Taylor said.

"Really?" Alexa asked with an exited tone.

"Yes, really" the singer said, quietly laughing at the girl's excitement.

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Let me know if you have any opinions/suggestions

Also do you prefer the chapters written from Lexie's perspective or from the narrator's perspective?