At least i'm trying- Taylor Swift story

07

10.07.2023
Saturday

Alexa's pov

It's been over two weeks since i first met travis.

We hung out multiple times with and without other people. I was surprised when he first asked me if i wanna hang out just us two. Since then i realized that he genuinely cares about me, and isn't just doing this for Tay.

I told him about my eating issues a few days ago, so he knows why i sometimes act weird around mealtimes, and he has been extremely supportive and understanding.

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I can officially say that i trust Taylor and travis with my feelings more than i do with the entirety of my 'closest' family. I feel safe to be myself with them and i know that they won't judge me.

Beatrice and Wyatt lost the right to hear about my feelings a LONG time ago.

For Wyatt it was because he was always emotionally absent. Sometimes he was there physically and we did do things together, but we never even acknowledged emotions.

However for Beatrice it was when she said that she was listening when i said i wanted to tell her about something that happened in school and found her asleep by the time i told half of the story.
It was falling asleep when we were watching something together on the TV.
It was when I was the one who had to take off her glasses and turn the TV and light in her room off.
It was when i had no one teaching me about healthy sleep habits.
It was when she stormed into the kitchen and screamed that she hates me when she saw i was up at 2am when i was thirteen.
It was when i cried myself to sleep, because i just wanted my mother to love me.
It was when i had countless mental breakdowns, because if my own mother can't love me and doesn't want to spend time with me, then why would anyone else?

Beatrice was only actively spending time with me at the times when Wyatt was there.

The worst thing is that from the outside, we were like any other perfect and happy family, so i learned to hide my feelings and fake being happy.

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I woke up in the guest bedroom of Taylor's house at 11:35am. I spent the night over, because we were supposed to spend the day together today and decided to have a movie marathon the night before.

I managed to fall asleep after about half an hour of laying in bed, so for me that's really good. I got out of bed, put my hair in a low ponytail, grabbed my phone and came downstairs.

"Hey sleepyhead!" i heard taylor's voice.

"Morning buddy!" i heard travis say from the kitchen.

"Hey guys" i said groggily, but with a smile on my face.

"Trav is making pancakes. For us it'll be lunch, but for you it's breakfast, and my mom is coming over in an hour" Taylor said laughing, as she pulled me into a hug.

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The rest of the day was great. I ate almost normal sized portions of food.

Taylor , Andrea, Travis and i baked, joked, laughed, watched movies and just relaxed together. It was amazing, and somehow i felt like i belonged, almost like i was a part of the family.

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Hey!

Let me know if you have any suggestions and/or opinions!

I'm sorry for the constant time skips, i just really don't know how a healthy family interacts with each other, so i make the relationship/trust building into a time skip

Thank you for reading despite of al the mistakes, typos and chaos!

Take care of yourselves <3