Five Minutes In Summer

21. FB

"No, no, Phi, you've got to be kidding," Beam said with wide eyes. "You gave me a heart attack." 

Forth held Beam's hand which was about to move from the sofa, so that the young man fell into his lap. 

"Baby, listen to me. This is no joke. I want to marry you and make you my only one, forever. I will protect you, for the rest of your life until the day you leave the world," said Forth while stroking Beam's cheek. 

"That means, if I die before you, then I will pay the most reliable and best bodyguard in the world to keep you safe until the time comes for you to catch up with me." 

Beam turned his body, facing Forth.  "But... this is impulsive, Phi. We... don't know each other well enough to get there yet. What if you later realized that many of my characteristics made you uncomfortable and difficult, and vice versa? Or, you found someone who is better than me? Or... in the future do you want a child, which I obviously can't give you?" Beam asked seriously. 

He wanted to say that he was in love with Forth, because he couldn't let the man out of his mind and heart since they separated after he rejected Forth. But, Beam is never sure. What is love, actually? 

He even deliberately came to Brazil, where he had to travel for 22 hours, just to meet the man again and apologize to him for his behavior, but just it. 

However, Forth asked him to marry him, that's another matter. 

"Baby, did I ever tell you that I fell in love with you within five minutes of seeing you?" Forth asked as he grabbed Beam's chin and kissed him tenderly. 

"Yes," said Beam. "That's quite... fast." 

Forth smiled. "I've never fallen in love. I like someone, it happens quite often, but there's never been a feeling so deep that I wanted to make that someone tied to me forever. It's only you I feel that way. You know, I used the cat from the shelter to get close to you, then for the first time in my life, I confessed my love to someone. Even after you rejected me, I still looked for a way to come back and chase you," said Forth calmly. I will continue to be like that. To you. Only to you." 

Beam looked into Forth's eyes and tried to see inside the man's head, looking for doubt or uncertainty there, but he only found shade and tenderness there. 

"We... are both men," Beam muttered.  "You can get married, but it will definitely be very difficult after that." 

"Why? Do you think that if one of us were a woman, it would be easy? I don't think so. I always believe that everything we will go through, whether difficult or easy, depends on our own determination and will," said Forth firmly.  

"Love can fade and when that happens, bondage will only become the most painful prison," Beam said firmly. 

Forth sighed. It seems that the wounds and trauma within Beam are very deep and scarred. 

"Actually, I'm not even sure whether there is such a thing as love in this world," Beam muttered slowly. "I don't think what I feel for you is love either. It's just a form of impulsiveness, ego, adrenaline." 

Forth hugged Beam's waist and placed one hand on Beam's chest. "So? You're not willing to marry me?" Forth asked. 

Beam didn't answer. He looked at Forth and slowly placed his hand on top of Forth's hand on his chest. 

"Let's put that aside for now. You and Elliana still need to complete the fake engagement to lure your uncle out and I also still have to complete the engagement arranged by my mother," said Beam. 

He brought his lips closer to Forth's lips and kissed him. "For now, I just want to make love to you, Phi."

Forth groaned softly when Beam's hand crept up his chest and unbuttoned his shirt one by one until they were all open.