Sealed fate

Part 35

Alyssa's Pov : 

He gave me a room as promised. I was actually wondering whether he'd go back on his words. He took care of me when I was on my period. He brought all the snacks I could want.

I don't get this man. Sometimes he's kind and sometimes he's rough.

He'd kiss me in my sleep. He'd force his way onto me. 

Yet, he'd carry me in his arms and hold my hands when I'm nervous.

In a split second, he'd make me cry. In a split second, he'd be on his knees, tying my shoelaces for me.

He even kisses my toes occasionally, as if it's nothing. He confuses me. If you are going to be cruel, then be entirely cruel. Why do you have to show glimpses of care? And why do I feel swayed when I know very well that I shouldn't..

I have to agree, his actions have helped with my fear of him a little. His presence doesn't terrify me as much as it did before.

I can kind of sense when he's not in an aggressive mood which puts me at ease. But the moment I feel that he's in a bad mood, I fear him.

He once gave me a foot massage. I was speechless. Who knew I'd be receiving foot massage from The Arestair Amaris. Mom would faint if she heard about it.

The more I think about his behaviour, the more confused I get.

His nice behaviours are good and all. But one thing's for sure, him forcing himself onto me is always really really scary. I don't like it...It hurts a lot.

I don't think of him in a romantic way. I don't think I ever can. The touch of a man I don't even like is very hard to swallow. The amount of strength he uses hurts a lot. It hurts...

No matter how much I try to wash away his touch in the shower, it doesn't go away. I feel contaminated.

He looks at me in a way that makes me feel like I don't even belong to myself. As if I have no say on my body or my life.

As if I'm his possession. As if my body is his. As if I am an object to be obtained. Who am I then.. Do I have no right?? Am I not a person??

It hurts...

I haven't been able to protect myself even once. I haven't been able to do anything at all. I want to run away. But I can't even do that. I feel trapped. It feels hard to breathe. I wanna cry, I wanna hug mom..

Thinking all of these things hurts..

Speaking of mom, I wonder how she is doing... Is she okay, is she eating and sleeping properly? I hope she's okay.

How are Rae and Connor.. Are they ok, are they worried about me? I hope not.. I hope they're at least able to live a little bit better. A little more in peace.

Ahh, I wanna see them. I think about them every day. I wanna meet them so bad. But I don't dare to ask Arestair to let me meet them. If he had any intention of letting me meet them, he wouldn't have abducted me in the first place. I'm scared to ask him. What if he gets angry and hurts me again.

I couldn't hold it any longer. I cried my eyes out. It hurts so much..

I wanna go home.

**************

Exhaustion engulfed me after crying so much. I laid around in my room the entire day. My room is guarded. Aside from the maids bringing my food, I didn't have any visitors.

But, I won't have to worry about Arestair barging in like usual. That alone makes me feel secure and safe.Sure it was boring. But I didn't mind the loneliness.

I left my food untouched. I don't have any appetite. I hear a knock on my door. Luke entered my room with a tray of food.

'I come back from my trip and this is how I meet you. This doesn't make me happy. ' he sat down beside me.

'Jordan told me you were here. I wanted to meet you as soon as possible. But then I heard you didn't eat anything the entire day. So I brought food.' he tapped my shoulder and probably saw my swollen eyes.

' Have you been crying?What's wrong?' Did anyone say or do anything to you? Tell me. ' I'm glad I have someone who would get angry on my behalf.

' What's wrong? Everything's wrong. I've been brought here without my consent. I've been touched without consent. I'm not allowed to leave or do anything without permission. How is this ok?' I started balling my eyes out again damn it.

' Can you not get me out of here? I miss my mom. I miss my friends. I miss my life. Can you not get me out of here. I miss them so much. I wanna see them' Luke hugged me as he started patting my back.

' I'm sorry that you're going through this. I'm sorry, but there's only so much I can do. I can't get you out of here for good.....' he paused. His patting was calming me down.

' But... I'll try my best to persuade Sir Arestair to let you go see your loved ones. ' my heart filled with hope.

'You will?' I looked at him through my tears.

' Yes, I will try. So can stop crying now and eat something please.' I nodded as I wiped my tears.

I have never been soothed so easily before. Luke must have grown up with sisters. He knows what he's doing. He fed me with his own hands as we talked.

I've grown super fond of Luke and Jordan. I wish I could hangout with them more often. But they're rarely ever here.

After Luke left I fell asleep. It was probably around 3 or 4am that I woke up due to a very unpleasant feeling.

I was sleeping sideways, facing the opposite direction of the door.I felt like someone was standing right behind me.

As if they were staring at me very intensely. Is it a ghost.. I'm supposed to be alone in this room... My heartbeat fastens. I feel so scared that I can't move.

I feel them getting closer as their breath falls on my neck. A familiar scent enters my nose. The familiar smell of Arestair's cologne.

I take a breath of relief. Thank goodness, it's just Ares. Not a ghost.

But then a different fear arises, why is he here?! At this hour ? Why is he staring for so long? Go away already!

I keep pretending to be asleep. I'm too scared to open my eyes now. He caressed my cheeks. His hands feel rougher than usual.

He slowly starts kissing my neck.Why so soon! Usually Arestair leaves me alone for a while after he's done something to me. It hasn't been that long since the last time!

I was sure I'd be safe for a while. He removed my hair from my neck and kissed behind my ears. He kissed my shoulder blades.

'I'm so sorry. But I don't think I can ever let you go, my dear. I'm sorry.' He whispered it probably to himself. His voice gave me chills.

He lightly kissed my cheek before standing up and leaving. I've never held in my breath that hard before. I shot up from my bed. I was sweating. Fortunately he didn't do much.

I touched the area around my neck where he kissed because it felt uncomfortably wet. Sure enough it was wet. I turned on the light to see the unknown liquid.

It was blood. I quickly ran to the bathroom and washed it off.

Whose blood was it? Did he kill someone? Is it his own blood? I was terrified. I couldn't sleep the entire night as horrible scenes played on my mind.