𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞

40| Goodbye Angel

Fucking hell.

For the first time I felt the most excruciating pain my heart. Not when my mom abandoned me, not when a stranger cut me with a shred of glass but now.

Now when I look at my precious wife. She has no emotion on her face. The love of my life stood infront of me and as much as I wanted to hold her, protect her, comfort her and tell her it'll be okay, I could not. The reality hit me like a wave crashing down and gulping down everything in its way. Taking away all my happiness.

"Darius" no baby no. It's Dari to you. Her little murmur scar my heart deeper, sharper and much worse than any bullet could ever.

"What did I do to deserve this? I've grown all my life, abused and ignored. I always believed that mom and dad hated me because I was the problem. I hated myself " I clench my jaw as hard as I could. My teeth gritting against each other. I hurt her so much. A warm pearly slips out of my eye and I quickly wipe it.

"Am I that bad? I-I think I deserve it" she shivered. Her hands dropping to her sides as goosebumps covered her gentle skin. I am so fucking sorry baby.

"Bubs I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me . I- you were so young and I didn't do anything on purpose I swear. it was all a mistake bubs please don't hate me" this is the first time I was seeing his cry. The last time a year slipped out of his eye was when he gave me the responsibility to take care of my baby.

And God when I saw her picture.
So beautiful, absolutely enchanting. she stood in Simon's flower shop with a bouquet of lavenders in her hand. The Lilac colour covering almost half of her face. My prettiest baby.

"I could never hate you Zane. B-but everything I've gone through, I-I hate myself for not being able to hate you." Her button nose was red from sniffing it. As much as I wanted to hold her hand and tell her not to rub it, I couldn't. I don't deserve to.

Her eyes were puffy and red. A stabbing pain in my heart as I watch her pretty eyes fill my tears. She will hate me. As much as I wanted to tell her the truth, I couldn't . I was bound to the promise I made to Zane. I never wanted to hurt her, I believed everything would've been okay.
She wouldn't have to worry about anything but here we are,
Almost over.

"Darius, I- don't have my phone. Could you call h-hayley. She'll take me home. I-I promise I'll take theo as well" I don't say anything. I couldn't .

I simply slide my phone out of the pocket and hand it to her. The pin was her birthday and she knew it. A pained expression on her face as she talked to Hayley. My baby couldn't even speak. Her voice was quivering but I couldn't do anything. I just couldn't.

"She's nearby....I-I am going...um....bye?"

"Little wi-" She stops me midway by interrupting,

"Thankyou for taking care of theo and I . I will always be very grateful to you" I watch as she leaves. I wait for her to turn back. Just once baby, come on my girl. She doesn't turn back.

She walked out of the door, her head hanging low.

"Fuck it" I grunt and run after her. She was about to open the door when I grab her waist, turning her around. A gasp leaving her mouth as I grip her close to my chest. With her head laid on my chest, I rest my chin on her head, muttering continuous sorry.

"Fuck baby, please....just don't leave me" my voice shakes as I hold her. Hold her so tightly. As if the world was ready to snatch her away from me and I wasn't ready to let go.

"Dariu-"

"Shh...just gimme a moment. Let me feel you." And she lets me. She very slowly wraps her small arms around my back. Our breathing syncs. I inhale her sweet scent wanting to drown in it. She's My drug.

"Will I ever see you again my love?" I ask. Pulling away as I felt her tap my arms. My baby's hands were tired from Hugging too much.

"I don't know" She whispered. Tears dropping from her eyes. I cup her chubby cheeks in my hand and wipe those warm tears with the pad of my thumb. I feel her involuntarily leaning into my touch.

"I...should go. Hayley is here" and just like her. She was taken away from me. Because of my fucking mistake.

"Little wife" I say as I watch her open the door. Her shoulders drop and she looks back at me through her shoulders. My heart breaks into a million pieces watching her state.

"I love you pretty baby" She froze. And no, not because it shocked her. But it broke her so much more. Her body was shaking, she was still. She looked at me with lifeless eyes and eyes full of emotions.

This was the moment where everything that I had ever earned in life , didn't matter. All that mattered was her. And she was gone.

I don't turn back to talk to Zane. I know Marcus was inside, I don't bother talking to him either. Simply taking my cars keys out of the pocket, I drive away. As I drove, my eyes fell on my wedding ring. Fuck.

I grab the beer bottle from the backseat and open the lid with my mouth, gulping down the harsh warm liquid. I don't even want to wake up in the world where she's not here. Not with me.

I need her. I want her.

My eyes start to blur when the alcohol kicks in. The streets suddenly became flashy, making it difficult for me to drive and before I knew, a truck was coming my way with full speed. And my breaks fail to support me.

Goodbye angel