Pleased to meet you... again

Thirty-Five

"She's asleep. She managed to get another story out of me." Xander said as she walked back though the living area.

"You're great with her."

The soccer player nodded. "I best get going."

"Please stay a bit longer." Casey looked at the brunette. "Maybe we could talk."

"Yeah." Xander sat down on the sofa at the opposite edge to the blonde.

"Do you want a drink?"

"Yeah, just something soft though."

Casey got two cans of soda from the fridge and handed one to the soccer player. She looked at their hands as they almost touched.

"So." Xander looked at the blonde. "I guess for me what I've always wanted to know was what changed? I thought we were good and then you literally just disappeared. It kind of killed me, you know."

"Dawn."

Xander looked confused.

"The sickness was morning sickness Xan I was about 12 to 14 weeks pregnant. I didn't know what to do and we'd only been seeing each other for six weeks and I didn't think we'd have managed with a baby."

"Aww so I didn't do anything? I thought I must have been such a bad partner that I wasn't even worth a goodbye. You could have just waited and talked to me. We could have discussed things together."

"And what would have done? We were both in school and I wouldn't be able to work. My Dad said he'd disown me, cut me off because I was a disgrace and I couldn't expect you to look after us. Give up soccer, you were so close to your dream."

"Yeah, no point in living the dream when you have no one to share it with." The brunette almost grimaced. "We would have done what I did. I would only have had to get you a flight to London. Then I could have made money playing football like I did anyway."

Casey cried. "I wish everyday I'd made the other choice. I thought through everything and I loved you so much but I felt like if I stayed maybe you'd you'd lose everything and you'd end up hating me and we'd be a few years down the line and not working and we'd both have lost everything. I didn't want to risk you losing everything."

Xander looked over at the blonde in tears, the fought the urge to comfort them, "You were everything, you made it all worthwhile. When we were together it felt so right that nothing else in the world mattered. I loved you, I've never been happier than I was those couple of months. You know I even got pissed off at my mom and Jean. I kept thinking we should never have given the mistletoe away. I wondered what I'd done so wrong and why you stopped loving me."

"I never stopped. I've never stopped." Casey interrupted.

"Me neither. No matter how hard I tried. I mean I have gone through points when I've hated you and what you've done. I've blamed you for not being able to have anything with anybody else, that like one because I think I must have been such a lousy partner but mostly because no one has made me feel what I felt for you."

"Same. My Dad made me marry Hunter. Quickly then he sent us to New York for two years so when we came back no one would ever suspect a shotgun wedding. It got bad real quick. He did what he wanted. He would got a violent. He spend no time with Dawn so when we moved back out here I told my Dad that I was going to apply for a divorce on the ground of adultery and battery. He said that if I could change that to inconciliable differences, to protect Hunters reputation as he now worked with my Dad then he'd let me live the rest of my life how I wanted. I wanted you but you were long gone by then.

"I tried dating, it never felt like it should, like it was with you." Casey concluded and looked at the floor for a moment. "YouH ever rewatched the show?"

"The show?" Xander took a drink from the soda.

"Remember my mom said she thought we looked like the two from that ghost show? We do now that we're older. Only thing that's different is that Alex obviously has had her nose broken but now you're about the same age. You're her double."

"No. I forgot all about that." Xander smirked, "but your mom still made you go through with the whole Hunter thing? Even though she thought we were what was she called it..."

"Soul bound."

"Yeah. She had her reasons but she's not with my Dad anymore and we're trying to rebuild our relationship. Dawn spends a weekend a month with her grandma."

"That's good. I don't really see mine much. I think she and Jean are coming to spend the winter in California. They're enjoying life on the open road with an RV. They are really happy together though so it's nice she has someone special."

"So you've not got anyone."

Xander laughed, "No. Just like I said earlier, I stopped investing, so a couple of weeks and they are gone. I've gotten used to it."

"Would you?" The blonde asked hopeful.

"What settle down? I don't know if that is who I am anymore. I've been just me for so long I've become pretty selfish I guess. It would be nice though. I just don't know if I'm equipped for anything other than a sexual encounter."

Casey noticeably squirmed she hated the idea of Xander being intimate with anyone else. She felt envious of all the other women who must have felt their touch. "Right."

"Yeah."

"Xan?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I see you now with Dawn and I think about what could've been." The blonde shook her head. "If I could go back and make a different choice I would. It broke my heart knowing that I'd never see you again, knowing how much I was going to hurt you. I pleaded with my mom and asked if I could speak to you one more time, hear your voice, see your face. She took my phone. I saw you the night you came to the door. I heard you pleading from upstairs and I watched you walk away. I knew what I had done to you. What I had done to us."

"I understand why you did it, that you thought it was best for me. But I think you realize now that we could have worked it out. Thank you for telling me." Xander took the blonde's hand. "You were always the most beautiful woman I ever met. The only person I've ever truly loved and now I know that, I didn't make any huge mistake. Maybe I'll find courage again."

"I hope so, you deserve it. I'm sorry I screwed that part of your life up."

"Hey, I did that bit on my own. I'm sorry you didn't get what you wanted either."

"What if we could still... no..."

"What?" The soccer player asked.

"Nothing it's a daft idea."

"It can't be that daft."

"Do you believe that we're soulmates?"

"I don't know."

"Go watch the show. Look at them, it makes sense, while they didn't die at the same time the crossed over together we were born at the same time. Okay I'm being weird now."

"Just a bit." The brunette smiled. "Look, I'm going to head home. I think we need some time to process. I've got a TV show to watch," they laughed. "I was thinking that Dawn might like to be our team mascot on Wednesday night, if you don't mind. But her nanny would have to come to the game."

"She'd love that. Not sure about Lydia though." Casey smiled through her ebbing tears.

"Cool." Xander let go of the blonde's hand and instantly missed the touch. "I'll catch you soon."

The soccer player let themselves out of the house. They stopped at the opposite side of the door and thought a moment about going back in and giving into their urge to kiss the blonde.