end of 1985

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Margos POV

After Neil left, Susan was forced to move. That house was in his name, not hers. So her and max moved into a trailer park. It wasn't the most ideal situation like a house but it was somewhere to call home. I got to take some of Billy's belongings which made me happy. Of course, I already had his jacket, which was with me constantly. I always had something of Billy's on my body. Whether it be a necklace, my ring or his jacket. I even wear some of his clothing, I love doing that. Max is now like a sister to me. She pretty much is after her mom started her drinking problem. Max would stay at my house all the time or vice versa. School still wasn't the same. Sure, I had my friends back and max was now in high school, which made life better. But I didn't get to experience it with Billy like it was intended to be. Life was still strange. Since max and I spent so much time together, she got to tell me all about her stories experiencing the secrets of Hawkins. It was crazy to hear and vision all of those things. After seeing what happened in July, I believe anything can happen now.

I found more ways to feel closer to Billy. I went to his old locker, before school started, and saw pictures of me in it. I genuinely smiled when I saw that. Then I found a picture of us, that I didn't have. He had snatched an old camera and took it with us while we went to the lake. It was the same moment where he tossed us in the lake together. I remember that day so vividly, it made me so content when I thought of that memory. I held the picture close to my heart and stole it.

Depression was the first vital effect on me after Billy's funeral. I was practically nothing afterwards. Suicidal and a waste of space. The music store fired me after not hearing from me in weeks. My mom had to tell me that news because I wouldn't pick up the phone. She wasn't too happy with me but I also didn't give a shit. Someone from the store threw a box of my things onto my porch, which my mother had to give me as well. She wouldn't live it down for awhile. I took the box and isolated myself in my room again, like I have been for months. I barely went anywhere else other than school, Billy's car and anywhere Billy and I had been together. I started to grab things out of the box and put them in different parts of my room. Most of the things were music but some things we little stuff I just forget, like lipstick and hair ties. I was almost done with the box so I decided to go through the music. I've missed some of my old stuff. I wanted to find the perfect mix tape. Then, I came across the one Billy gave me. My breathe hitched as soon as I read the name of it. -to Danny from b'- god do I miss him calling me Danny. Many tears left my eyes. I never know when I'm going to cry but it almost is always frequent. I put it into my cassette player and listened to it. Yes, it hurt to listen to our songs. No, I don't regret it, I just wish I didn't have to remember every little thing again and again. I wish my brain didn't have to process all my memories on replay everytime I feel sad about Billy. Following behind all the other music, the one song I forgot about had come on. It was the last on the list. The one I couldn't get enough of for the longest time. -Don't fear the reaper by blue oyster cult-. The song I named as mine and Billy's. And now the song that I will always be listening to.

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