Margo (Sequel To B)

senior year

Margos POV

"I think you need to take it all in and enjoy it. No one can be happy forever." I remember what Eddie told me not too long ago, after I told him how happy I was that summer. It revised in my head over and over again. I was so happy. I was like a completely different person months ago. Blinded by love and purely happy. I'm the absolute opposite now. I finally went to school. I still didn't want to but I forced myself to, so did my mom. Gladly and surprisingly, the schools board understood my situation and let it pass. I'll actually get to graduate, this was the best news I got in forever. Some light at the end of the tunnel, a since of hope. Part of my hope left when I walked into school. My first day of senior year. I'm guessing because of all the recent issues that that's why I care what people think now. I used to not give a fuck what anyone said or thought of me and now I do. It sucks and I hate it. I heard everything everyone said about me. Rumors or whispers, everything regulated in my brain.
"She tried to kill herself."
"Billy was her boyfriend."
"I heard she tried to kill Billy."
"I feel so bad for her."
"Guess she's single now."
"I thought she died."
"Someone said Billy used to hurt her."
That last one almost made me want to rock that persons shit. It took every piece of me to hold myself back. I didn't want anyone thinking I cared, it was tough to hide. But I could still go on and on about the shit that I've heard. And it's never ending, constant and ongoing. And it will be forever, even after I graduate, but I won't have to hear it after that. As soon as I saw Eddie he was shocked. He was down the hallway from me, we both stopped and stared at one another. I haven't seen him since the beginning of July. When we were sitting on his rooftop discussing my happiness. It had been forever. I missed Eddie. I know how many times he tried to come by my house. Between him and Robin, I wasn't sure who was who. Max would always tell me if she'd come over beforehand. If Eddie or Robin called or came by, I'd ignore them. I couldn't face anyone else. They didn't and wouldn't understand. Max was and is the only one who gets it because she is going through the same thing as me. We're sisters, grieving. I saw myself wanting to come back. I wanted to be myself again even if it was hard. I'd still be sad and off but I can't forget the people who care about me. I still have people I care about, just one of them, the one I care the most about, is gone.
"Eddie." I huffed out and run into his arms. I held him tightly, I really missed my best friend.
"Im so sorry." I cried out, I didn't let go for awhile.
"I know you are. It's okay. I'm sorry about Billy." Eddie replied as he stroked my hair. I sniffled hearing Billy's name come out of his mouth. The rest of the day Eddie didn't talk about Billy. Thank god he didn't. Eddie is the greatest friend you can ask for. He understands that I won't want to discuss any thing about Billy, not unless I initially bring him up. I'd get in my own head and think again. Eddie doesn't even know the truth about billy, I mean no one does except for the people who saw him die. It's crazy to think that Eddie will never know how billy actually passed. A while after seeing Eddie and going to a couple of classes, I saw Robin. We had the same encounter as Eddie and I. I almost knocked her over as I hugged her. She understood too, I'm so grateful for these people. I told her why I couldn't see her, talk to her or let her in. Pieces of me started to come back because of my friends. Despite the looks and words coming from students at school, I was okay. For now I'm okay.

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