Jen's pov
I don't know what it is but I feel off. I'm working here and there doing my normal promos, shoots and events but somethings just...off. I mean, it could be because I haven't talked to Leah in a week. Last text was "I'm home :)" from me to her after our trip. I don't know why I haven't said anything and she hasn't said anything either. The most we've done through the phone is like each others story once this week. But the trip was really fun with her. It was more of a humbling trip even thought it was in Miami. I mean we had fun but we didn't go crazy like a normal person would in Miami. And we ended up messing around when we got back to New York but that's it. We weren't supposed to but I was feeling some type of of way and it was pretty good. I can tell she was nervous a bit since it's been months. I highly doubt she messed around with anyone cause she's been so busy at work. Meanwhile I did. Which, I don't feel bad about but I know if she finds out it might bother her. Even though we weren't together. I just know. Maybe that's what it is? What if she felt something was off while we did it? I mean how would she know I had some action during our break up? Then again.. she knew my body well back then.
I can't even ask Tyler what he thinks cause he'll get soooo mad if he finds out we had sex. This is one of the reasons why he probably didn't want us to do it. Cause now look at us. Not talking again. But we didn't fight. Just...silence. And me overthinking.
I just want life to be good again. Life was going so well after I left my strip job, met Leah, had a very eventful life with her..I miss that. I'd love to have that back. But I should've known, with my personality, I don't know how to keep a relationship. I don't want to be a toxic girl and me and Leah were toxic towards the end but it was way better when we were just so happy with each other. Some people like the drama in relationship because it throws a little spark, but me and Leah always have a spark and it's a good spark that doesn't need any drama. There's always something new and just being crazy over how beautiful she is, the butterflies I would get when I see her, and just being with her made me happy. Why can't I just learn how to deal with that?
Anyways, after days of me thinking, I finally called this woman. I kind of miss her.
"Hi" she responded.
"How are you? It's been a minute since we talked"
"Mm, I've been okay! Just busy working."
"I can tell you're busy. We literally never spoke after our trip"
"I'm sorry...I mean you never called me."
"I had let you know when I was home"
She didn't respond after I said that.
"If I moved out there, would you talk to me more?" I asked her.
"Jennifer..you're not moving out here."
"Why not?"
"I just know you won't!"
"But I'm free to move now. I've been thinking about you a lot..and I'd love to move out there just to see you more" I said to her. Now that was something I didn't mean to tell her so fast.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah..I mean ever since we started talking again and after that trip, you've literally been all on my mind"
"We had sex. This is your sex with me brain. Pretend we didn't have sex.."
"Leah. You act like I haven't been in love with you before"
"But still! You miss me. Tell me what you miss about me.." she says.
"Everything"
"More descriptive.."
"You're one of a kind. Your smile, your voice, your vibe.. I feel safe with you. I get excited about my day to see you. And the many adventures we have together and I know we can make so much more.."
"Damn are you proposing to me over the phone this time?" She asks. I start to giggle. "And you're fucking sarcasm"
"Hehe" she softly giggles.
"But I love it" I said softly.
"I'm glad because you're my favorite person to be sarcastic towards. You get annoyed but it's cute"
"You're crazy"
"That makes both of us"
We kept talking for hours. It was nice.
-
Leah's pov
I've been talking to Jennifer even more. It's funny. We're so on and off but we obviously want each other again. I just won't budge and she keeps asking what I want so we can fix it. She even wants to move out here. I personally think that's too quick but it's not a bad nor good idea. She gets attached and she'll see me so busy with work.
To think that me and her were engaged at one point is so crazy to me. And breaking it off was such a heartbreak but it did help me grow even more. Not apart from her though. She's my girl forever. It's just hard thinking of fully committing myself back to her cause we used to fight so much and we were so toxic. But we always end up coming back to each other. That women is irresistible.
I'm on the phone with her right now talking about whatever. But at one point we started talking again about her moving here.
"I've been looking at apartments Lee" she says.
"You have?"
"Yeah. I honestly don't have anything stopping me from moving now that my job is different"
"Mm. That's true" I said.
"Then I can see you more" she says. I smile at her through the FaceTime call.
"You're not saying your opinion"
"Well I have nothing to say"
"Do you think me moving out there will cause any problems?"
"No"
"Sooo.."
I didn't respond and she rolls her eyes. I know I'm annoying her. I just don't want to say anything to start something.
"I have no control over you hun. Whatever you do is what you want to do. I'm just here to support you"
"Support me? I don't need help with it"
"Okay then do you" I said.
"Okay..I guess."
"Just don't forget I'm working a lot. I know you want to move here to be with me again. I just don't want it to be a problem with me working so much"
"I mean it's better than before. Both of us were crazy busy and I know you'll have more time with me. Plus you spend so much time at the cafe or coffee shop with you lil Des girl"
Of course she brings her up.
"What does she have to do with us?" I ask. "Nothing. I'm just saying. You have time for her, you should have time for me"
"Let's not bring her into this. You can move here if you want. I'd love for you to move out here so I can see you more and it would save so much money instead of us doing what we did. All the flying back and forth. And long distance sucks. If we're trying to fix us then I think moving here would help tremendously." I said.
"Okay. That's all I needed to hear Leah. A second opinion."
"Stop getting smart"
"I'm not" she says and smacks her lips. I start to shake my head with a soft smile. We continued talking for a while after that. I'm glad we at least talk way more now.
-
Hi guys! Happy New year! Soo sorry I haven't updated in a month but I'm back and there will be more updates coming more frequently! Thank you guys so much for reading and continuing to show love on this book and for your patience! 🤍
