No Control (L.S. BDSM)

10

Harry Edward Styles:

It's a start and an end, just like the life has. But my soul will live forever, and my love will never run out. It's not like you end something and there will never be one thought, one feeling or one happening that will occur. It's not like the 'end' just is one direction. The end can be the start of something new, something better. We learned from what we ended and made it the start of something new.

"But I simply don't want it to end" I yell into Louis's face. My tears are streaming down my cheeks. His cold face is there, like he doesn't understand that he, this, means more to me than it might do to him. Did he really think I would walk in and be a submissive, which I knew nothing about, if it wasn't for the fact I liked him in another way too?

"Harry, you know that you are my submissive. That's your role. Now go home and think about the contract" he strictly demanded. Fuck that contract Louis. I want you, can't you see that right now I need you, I need your hug, your care. The sweetness you showed me in your office when I was scared, where is that now? Was it just a play to get me where I am now? Is this the start of the beast? The one you never can discuss with because he always should be right down to every single detail.

"I don't want to go home" I said crossing my arms.

"Harry do as told" he ordered. Well dear dominant, I don't want to do as you tell me right now. I haven't signed anything yet. I want you to listen to me. I do not want this to end.

"No"

"No?" he mocked. He took one step closer to me, and I took one step back. He wants to intimidate me. That's what always works for him.

"I said no"

"Harry stop this disrespectful behaviour now, or I will have to punish you" he said grabbing the side of my waist and holding on to me. His eyes turning from the clear ocean blue to the colder grey ones. He is mad I got that. He isn't in control of my feelings and my wants now. He doesn't like it. But I don't like that you one day want to end us Louis, just like we were nothing, like I never existed, never belonged to you. Just like you never cared, like you never felt a bit of concern of me.

"It's what this is going to be like isn't it? You are going to have a date, for example the 28th of September, and when that date arrives then we are over, and it will be like we never existed, like I never was anything to you?" I sobbed kicking around with my feet and hands to get out of the grip where he had now sat down on the couch with me in his lap. His hands holding on to mine with a strong hard grip.

"I would never act like I never knew you Harry. But yes we would have a date, for example the 28th of September we can use that one. And when that date arrives we would discuss if this were something we would want to end, or we could discuss the rules and limits once more and make a new contract and find a new end date" he explained. So, if I would want to be with him I would have to count the days to the set date, and just hope he would want me for longer.

"But what if I don't want an end date, but just let the contract go on"

"Harry this is just how I do it, please understand. This is how a submissive-dominant relationship works. I know you are new to all of this and have a lot of things to learn. But this stands" he spoke, and I understood I had two options. He would never change his mind of this, it was up to me to make up my own mind. What option is the best when none seems good? Leave now and don't get more attached to him instead of having even more of a hell later when the end comes or try to do your best until the 28th of September and gain his impossible love. Both options seemed unbearable for me to live with, but what life brings me is what I have to handle even though it might kill me deep inside on the road to a solution.