Dismantling The Box of Grief and Venge

Chapter 1: Trauma

"Invoices, done. Addresses, done. Customers, done. What else?" Ahmya stared at her computer, getting bored day by day as the sales in the company seemingly dropped each month. That job wasn't really the job she wanted, but it was enough for her living expenses. She initially dreamed of becoming a forestry expert, but fate led her to another path.

Her father's last wish was for her to study at Mahawira University at Jetoya city, which didn't have any major related to forestry or agriculture, so she was forced to take visual creative design major, which she didn't have any basics of. Her father was delighted because he knew that his daughter had abandoned talent in art. He secretly kept her childhood drawings that she left abandoned after she finished them.

The day her application was accepted by the university, her father proudly said, "I always knew you had a talent in art." He showed her the old works she had abandoned. The drawings were very realistic and beautiful. She knew those were hers, yet she didn't look impressed, because she knew herself that she could make good drawings only when she felt the urge to draw and those moments were very rare, else from that, she couldn't even draw a simple pencil. She still acted proud for her father, knowing her father only had a few days left in life due to cancer. Her mother also had passed away three years earlier for the same reason.

However, she couldn't keep up with her studies due to psychological matters. Her boyfriend that she had been with since highschool broke her up during her first year of study, saying he was tired of long distance relationships and that he could no longer have her around to 'entertain' him sexually. From that moment, she realized that she was no more than a sex toy for him and it hurt her so much that she mourned her wasted love for the rest of her first semester, feeling assaulted and degraded. She cursed herself of her naiveness for trusting him, but it wasn't the main reason she gave up her study.

The main reason for her resignation was the thing after that. Her ex-boyfriend had ended their relationship, but he didn't have enough of her misery. He and his stupid friends kept on attacking her especially when it comes to her upcoming relationship. The man stalked her and anyone who was rumored of getting close with her. He later trash talked her about her past romance and sexual relationship to those men until they're convinced enough of her 'bad side'.

She didn't understand his motive for doing that to her, but her reputation dropped far to the lowest. The news spread quickly and all she got after that was scorn and insults. Ahmya was too naive, too innocent to defend herself and had no one to back her up. With her high social insecurity and without her parents around, she couldn't face all the judging eyes that constantly shot at her everyday she went to her campus.

Her grade was unexpectedly constant and she managed to keep up her good marks, but her mental health was downgraded drastically. Despite how much her lecturer assured her to keep her study, she still refused. With all the bullies and hoaxes still around, she might still finish her studies, but surely would graduate as mentally ill person from the university. The place had become a toxic environment for her and not even the dean could do much about it.

***

The clock on her desk showed 5:00 p.m, she hurriedly tidied up her table and went home. After the death of her husband, she moved to a smaller flat with a kitchen that merged with the living room. Her husband? Yes, she was married at a young age. She was one of those students who skipped years and graduated from highschool at the age of fourteen. No one would think she would later drop out of college at the age of 16 and alienated herself so no one could find her, not even her master stalker ex-boyfriend.

Even though her family was disagreeing with her decision, no one actually cared, because in fact they did nothing but comment on her life. Ahmya didn't really get along with them especially after both of her parents passed away. She got married at the age of 19, a few years after her resignation.