Let's be honest

-37-

Without another word Tony gave me a smile of understanding followed by a nod before standing up to call the shawarma place asking for everyone's command.

I quickly muttered a "whatever sounds good or weird" fidgeting with my headphones to get them on and working letting out a sight of relief when I manage to do so.

I can see them all moving, except for Loki who's still sitting right besides me, honestly it's a relief to not have them hoovering and asking more questions or worrying. Not that I am blind, I can see the obvious weary looks I get from some of them but it's as best as I can get for now.

My nails are scratching once again at my thighs the moment I get peace and quiet. Why is it that I always start to crack and breakdown when I get what I truly need?! I could've probably just gone on occupying myself to never be left alone with my thoughts.

But no I had to ask for a break. Cuz I need it! But it's also forcing me to show just how weak I am...

Great! I'm pretty sure I caught a look of pity from Steve before he hushed Tony away after he saw me flinch at his loud voice on the phone.

A dry laugh escapes my throat, quite honestly I'd take pity on myself too and I hate that.

Looking around desperate for something to distract me or someone that won't pity me or think of me as a posible traitor my eyes finally land on Loki.

He's still sitting there analyzing everyone and everything an ice cold look in his eyes face fully emotionless. But it somehow calms me to see I'm not the only one stressed, maybe I could focus on helping him relax instead of making myself even more anxious with just constant thinking.

It's horrible like I've got a badly connected radio with far too many intercut voices speaking all at once covering one another and in the background that awful glitching radio sound.

Giving Loki an attempt at a smile I give him a proper look. His wounds are taking a long time to heal, most likely because he was already weak, otherwise his hair is slick back in that weird way that makes it look spikey making me wonder if just rinsing the slick out with water would bring back his beautiful curls we see in later movies.

Loki does not smile back, which was to be expected and instead frowns back at my fidgeting figure. He looks around for a moment before flicking his wrists, moments after I feel added weight along with softness on my shoulders and all around me.

Did my fidgeting look like I was shivering or did he really know how much a weighed blanket would help me?!

I wrap the blanket even tighter around me and quit fidgeting in order to hold it in place wrapping me like a burrito.