"When he laughs at all my jokes, and he says I'm So American. Oh god, I'm gonna marry him if he keeps this shit up. I might just be in la la la la love."
- Olivia Rodrigo
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After the suicide of his boyfrie...
"Audrey! Audrey what the fuck!" I hear a voice echo and I can faintly feel someone shaking me. I have to will myself to open my eyes. Failing the first few times, but eventually I'm able to open them.
Everything is bright and it takes me a minute for my eyes to adjust.
And that's when I realize, I'm still on the kitchen floor. With a worried- no, terrified- Nick Nelson, sitting by my body.
I can feel him gently shaking me. When he notices my eyes are opened, he reaches up and puts his hand on my cheek. "Audrey, what happened to you?"his voice cracks, which breaks my heart. But I just blankly staring at him. I don't think I would know what to say even if I could say it. And if I could, would I? No. No one can know. My dad made that pretty clear last night.
"I'm going to call you an ambulance" he says pulling out his phone, but I lightly put my hand on his forearm. Shaking my head lightly. Stopping him.
"Audrey I have to. I just found you with your face beaten in. bleeding out on your floor." He argues. I just simply move my hand to his hand, giving him a reassuring squeeze. The feeling of his calloused hands in mine, sends a shiver down my spine. Am I dead?
"Do you think you can move?" he asks softly. Worry still painted on his face.
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I nod, attempting to sit up. But I wince and my body falls still again.
"Fuck. I'm going to have to carry you." He says looking to me to check if it's okay, and I give another curt nod in permission.
He slowly positions one hand under my back and the other behind my knees. As he lifts my body into him, I let out some sort of strangled scream. All of a sudden remembering how much pain I'm really in.
"I'm so sorry!" Nick breaths out "just hold on, I'm gonna get you out of here!" He says.
The pain is unbearable and I burry my head into his chest. He stiffens at the movement, but then relaxes as he continues his way out of my house and to his car.
It wasn't until now that I'm alert enough to have more questions. Like where the hell is my father, and why the hell Nick Nelson was in my house. But I don't have my phone on me, and I don't think todays the day I decide to magically speak again, so instead I say nothing.
He puts me into the passenger seat, and pulls my seatbelt around my body to clip it in. I've never seen him up so close before, and I don't miss the way his biceps flex as he buckles it into place.
Then he closes my door and joins me in the car.
"Can I take you to the hospital?" Nick asks but the tone in his voice tells me he already knows my answer. I shake my head no.
"Why not?" I just shake my head again.
"Please! Audrey I just found you unconscious in a pool of your own blood. Why can I not take you to the hospital right now?!" His voice is slightly raised, and I flinch. He instantly notices and a look of guilt and shame fill his face.
"If you won't go to the hospital, can I take you to my house then?" He says and I'm too stunned to even shake my head no. My eyes widen at the statement and I send him a confused look.
"M-my moms a nurse. And I can help too." He says as he scratches the back of his neck. "You obviously need some kind of medical attention, please just let me help."
I don't know if it was the desperation in his voice or the fact that sitting upright with cracked ribs made it impossible to breathe, but I nod my head yes in response.
We sit quietly for the rest of the drive, though I don't miss the worried glances he sends me every 45 seconds.
"Alright this is me. My mum isn't home yet for a few hours but I can get you cleaned up then bandaged. How hard can it be?" He chuckles rubbing the back of his neck something I'm noticing he does when anxious or nervous. He then unbuckles himself, and exits the car.
Between the time he gets out, and walks over to my side; I'm already blushing at how much of a gentleman Nick truly was. It's almost sunset, and he found me unconscious. And against his wishes and better judgment, trusted me anyways to bring me to his own home. Yes, we must be 'good mates' now as Nick would say. I want to laugh at the thought, until I stop myself. My face growing hard and unreadable as it usually sits. I must be delusional from the pain or something, because I know better than to entertain Nick Nelson. I'm not quite sure what his intentions are with me yet, maybe he just genuinely cares and wants to be my friend like he says he does. Maybe, there's something more?
It's hard to not think there's more between us, because at this moment he gently grabs my beaten body, and slowly brings me into his chest. I nuzzle my head into the crook of his neck, and almost instinctively I inhale his strong scent of wet turf and cedar; and I'm left melting into him.
Safe. I feel safe. Here. In the arms of some jock lineman. I have to shut the words 'slut' out of my mind as I imagine what my dad would think if he saw me.
"Alright I'm just gonna take your clothes off, I need to see the damage and given your wheezing probably wrap your ribs too." Nick says as he lays me down on a soft surface I can only assume to be his bed. I frown at the loss of his warmth, and even more so at the words he says.
No, he most certainly cannot see me.
I can only imagine what my body looks like. Sickly thin and covered in cuts and bruises and lashes. What about my face? And my hair? Oh god, I'm a mess. And if I felt any better right now, I would be incredibly embarrassed.
It's as if he can see me tense, cause he keeps talking. "Don't worry, I won't look at anything. And im going to get you some clean clothes before I do anything else, okay?" He says softly. Giving me a reassuring squeeze of my arm, and a small lopsided half smile. Then he pulls the covers up to my chin, and walks away without another word.
What the fuck Audrey, is right. Is this what it's like to be loved?
Love. What a weird word. I have a super fucked idea of what that looks like given my home life. But it's undeniable now. The arm rub, tucking me in? Hell, maybe all of tonight has been filled with actions of love. That's no question.
The real question is, why is Nick Nelson showing me these acts of love. Why is he going out of his way to take care of some stranger he only met a month ago in homeroom.
