XXXII. TRUTH UNTOLD

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"I'll go to study at the capital and prove father that I can be my own

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"I'll go to study at the capital and prove father that I can be my own." His last words before my life turned upside down.

- Memory Journal: The Plague page 6–

"Why can't you just tell them sissy?" Her dearest sister's voice echoes within the chambers of her mind as it wonders on the past. "Tell them you are their soulmate, and everything will be alright."

That was more than five years ago.

Dal-rae remembers that day too well. She could still remember the worried crease on Eun-ji's face as she tenderly dabbed warm compress on the appearing bruises on her skin, as if they would just easily fade away with the simple solution. The slight tremble of her voice was crystal clear. She understood why she always asked the same questions and said the same suggestions repeatedly. She knew she was just afraid for her dear eunie's sake. And like a good sister, she considered, doubtful, yet considered. At least, she was deeply contemplating.

For she's her reason... Her sanctuary... And even with fear, she knew she was right.

"Do you think they would believe me?" Her voice shook with great apprehension.

"They'll believe you. I promise." And the brightness of Eun-ji's face glistened through her heart, convincing her to turn over the leaf and just confess.

"Dal-rae-ah, darling."

She doesn't need to look up and see the disappointment on Seokjin's face. She can't even respond, afraid that her lips would tremble and eventually she would cry again. But why would she be? Isn't this what she wanted all along? Them, leaving her alone and rot to death? At least now, their safety is guaranteed.

A careful touch on her shoulders flinches her up, making her look at the gentlest pair of almond eyes. And sure enough, her lips tremble and tears start to well unceasingly. It's very uncharacteristic of her to break her façade... the calm and collected Dal-rae who everyone avoids. But perhaps, her heart has been just too heavy, she can't help throwing herself on Seokjin's welcoming arms and allow him to carry a portion of it. However, everything had been too much. Her guilty heart and mind had been pulling her down the depth of her infinite void that even Seokjin can no longer swim her to safety.

"Darling." She can feel his soothing hands, stroking her back, and the hum on his lips amidst her sad sobbing, hiccupping, and choking with her salty tears, until she can hear no more, taste no more, and feel no more...

• • • ○ ○ ○ ♡ ○ ○ ○ • • •

"A letter?" Dal-rae laughed at the idea. "I don't think he would read that among his fan letters?"

"Just try. He might stumble upon it and read them thoroughly... and after that, he will surely call."

"I don't know." She winced. What's the possibility of even stumbling on a letter?

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