Professor Knight

Please Can We Talk?

After leaving Jordan's classroom, I run for as long as my legs will let me. A car that's parked up curb-side ahead of me beeps its horn. I glance around me but there's hardly anyone around and I soon recognise the registration plate. It's Joey's. I walk until I'm stood outside it and the door opens. "Why are you here?" I greet him. He looks at me surprised. "I wanted to make sure that you were okay." He gestures for me to climb in the car and I do so. "He hates me Joe, like really hates me. The look in his eyes, I've never seen that in him before." I begin to sob and he pulls me into his open arms. "I'm going to take you back to mine, and we're gonna chat. Okay?" I wipe my face with the sleeve of the hoodie and sit up straight. I belt myself up.
A little while later and I'm in Joe's living room with a hot chocolate in my hands. "Matilda." Joe says slowly as he pulls the coffee table closer toward me and sits down on it. I hate that he's calling me by my full name as that's only done by Jordan. "Jordan doesn't hate you. He couldn't if he tried. If I know him, he'll be fretting. He thinks he's betrayed me. I guess my 'reaction' was believable." He tries to reassure me. "You didn't see the way he looked at me, Joe. The way he threw me out of the room." I rub my arms as if I was cold. He pulls out his phone and taps on it. It rings and rings. "Damn, Jordan. He ain't answering." He runs his hands through his hair. "I'll keep trying, okay." I nod in agreement. "Joe?" I grip my cup tighter. "Hmm." He responds. "Were you upset when you walked in?" His eyes widen. "I was surprised but I wasn't upset. Maddie, don't forget we've been fake dating and I couldn't have been more happier than I was when I saw you two like you were. The plan... it's worked. He wouldn't have looked at you the way you say he did if he didn't have feelings for you." He smiles. Why the hell is he smiling when my heart is broken. "I need to go." I go to stand up but he pushes me down.

I scowl at him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you so hard. I'm worried about you." hmm. "Funny way of showing it." He looks at me in aghast. "You were smiling at the way he looked at me while my heart was breaking, I didn't think it was anything to smile about." I frown. He curses. "Jeez, I wasn't smiling at that. I was smiling because my best friend and you are finally where you both should be..." - "but now he hates me." I cut in. "No, look give him time until I've managed to talk to him and then you'll see that he doesn't hate you. I think he's in love with you and when you're in love with someone, you can never hate that person. Do you trust me to put this right?" He's put his hands together in between us. "I don't know. I'll try." I answer sincerely. "I'm going to take you back to your place, okay and I want you to try to get some sleep. I will do my best to sort this out and will keep you updated." He kisses me on the cheek and helps me to stand up off the sofa.
Once I'm back at the apartment and in bed, I open up my instagram account. I send a direct message to Jordan, 'please talk to me and I'm sorry that you hate me...' I stare at the ceiling reminiscing over the last few weeks where I've felt the most happiness and it's all down to being around Jordan. I stay awake for as long as possibly can.
The next day, like Joe made me promise, I went to my classes including Jordan's. I was there, waiting and watching the door for him to enter but nothing. There was no sign of him. A member of staff appeared and told us that Professor Knight has had an emergency so would not be in attendance to teach this class.
Today it's Monday and I've pretty spent the weekend in my room. As much as I wanted to open up to Amy about everything, I couldn't. It's all such a mess. I'm sitting in Jordan's classroom. He hasn't been in the last few days. Joe hasn't heard from him as far as I know. I'm looking down at my phone when he walks in although I just heard his footsteps. "Phones away, class is beginning." His voice is stern. I look up. He glances around the room but it feels like his eyes skipped past me. It's like he's there physically but mentally, he's elsewhere. The only person I can blame is myself. My mind can't stop replaying my moments with him.
Suddenly, I feel anxious and start fidgeting badly. "Amy, I need to get out of here..." I don't even finish what I was saying as I'm up, out of my seat and out of the classroom quicker than you can flip a light switch on. I run as fast as my legs will allow me. I end up in ladies bathroom, where I curl up in the corner of the cubicle. Tapping on the only person I can talk to right now, I ring Joey. "I. I... can't breathe. I can't do this. He. He won't even look at me. I told you, he hates me..." I cry into the phone with my head buried between my bent knees.

I'm unsure of how long I've been here but I hear Amy's voice calling out my name. "Maddie? Maddie, it's me. Open up hun!" I shuffle so I can push the lock open and go back to how I was positioned. The cubicle door is opened. "Oh Maddie, what's wrong? Joey messaged me telling me to come. Come here. She kneels down beside me and envelopes me in her arms. "I think I just had a panic attack. It came out of nowhere." She pulls me tighter. "I'm here, okay." I hear her grabbing some toilet roll and handing it to me to wipe my tears. "My stuff. I walked out of class." I run my hand through my hair. "Make sure you're okay first though. The class and the Prof can wait a minute. What caused the panic attack do you think?" I think about it. "I think I might be coming down with something, I don't know. It's been so long since I last had one. Joey messaged you?" She nods with a smile. "Yeah, I'm glad he did." I stand up and adjust my clothes. "We should get back. I don't want to get us in trouble." I frown as I say that to her. She links her arm with mine and we both make our way back to class. I take a deep breath before walking into the room. Jordan looks at us as we walk in. I go to speak but nothing comes out, thankfully Amy notices my uneasiness and speaks on my behalf... "she's feeling a little bit under the weather and had to suddenly go to throw up." His eyes gaze at me briefly, before he nods to Amy. She leads me to our table. "I'll help you finish this off tonight." She says to me quietly. I sit and let my gaze focus on Jordan. He doesn't look my way once. Before the bell even rings, I start packing my bag up. I'm still last standing up compared to the rest of the students. I send a direct message to Jordan, 'please can we talk?'. I watch as he checks his phone that shows he's read my messages. I hear him sigh. "You alright Prof? You look a bit stressed." Amy asks as she stops us as we walk next to his desk. He glances up to her, and laughs. "Something like that but I'm fine thanks." He sends her a tight lipped smile and goes back to doing whatever he's doing. "See ya next time, Professor." She says as we walk away.