beg • woosan (book 2)

18

Lying side by side in the expansive queen-size bed, San and Wooyoung are silent, the only sound their labored breaths as they come down from their recent entanglement. The clarity that comes after is unforgiving for San, leaving him grappling with a mix of emotions and self-reproach.

"San."

"If you say 'I love you,' I swear—"

"Do you love me?" Wooyoung interrupts, his question heavy with the weight of their complicated history, wondering if beneath San's apparent disdain, there might be a sliver of genuine affection.

San's response is him being silent, the internal struggle too fierce to allow words to pass through. Wooyoung, seeking some form of validation, sits up and fixes his gaze on San. "You're just using me like the others," he concludes, the hurt evident in his tone.

With his eyes shut tight, San is a portrait of conflict. He exhales a barely audible "of course not," a denial lost to the void as Wooyoung is already gone.

As Wooyoung hastily redresses in the livingroom, the bitterness of self-disgust coats his throat. Without another word, he silently exits, leaving behind more than just his presence in the apartment .

San shuffled through his day with the weight of last night's encounter clouding his thoughts. The absence of Wooyoung's usual cheerful banter by Mina's side was like a conspicuous void, and it gnawed at him more than he cared to admit. Mingi's attitude did little to improve matters. His typically easygoing colleague was now casting sidelong glances filled with something akin to disdain.

"Is everything okay?" San asked, attempting to bridge the growing gap between them.

Mingi offered a sarcastic smile, his eyes devoid of their usual warmth. "Everything's A-okay," he responded, his words dripping with irony before he deliberately turned away to engage another coworker in conversation.

The cold exchange left San ruminating over his actions, the worry churning in his gut as he went about his work. He found himself in a mental tug-of-war, analyzing his behavior towards Wooyoung. Was he too harsh? Did his own feelings justify his actions? The thoughts circled relentlessly, a carousel of doubt and guilt that he stubbornly refused to acknowledge.

His break provided no respite; instead, it brought another reminder of his internal conflict. On FaceTime with Winter, he tried to focus on arranging her visit for Mina's show, but his knack for hiding his emotions had abandoned him.

Winter's perceptive eyes caught the subtle shift in his demeanor. "What's wrong with you?" she inquired, her voice laced with concern.

"Nothing," San replied automatically, the denial a reflex he didn't fully believe himself. His voice lacked conviction, and he averted his gaze from the screen, unable to meet Winter's probing stare.

Winter paused, not buying the facade and pressed further, her intuition sharp. "What happened? Work is hard, or is it a certain person?" She knew the dynamics at play, the subtle changes in San's mood often tied to the enigmatic Wooyoung.

San hesitated, a part of him still resistant to the vulnerability of the truth. "Don't hate me, but it's Wooyoung," he finally admitted, bracing himself for Winter's reaction.

She groaned in response, her frustrated. "Gosh, San, what happened? Are you dating him?" Winter leapt to conclusions, her protective instincts flaring up. She may not have known all the details of their past, but she was aware their breakup had left scars.

"No, we weren't dating, but let's just say I was seeing him, and he told me he loved me," San said, pausing as he grappled with the words. "But I don't know, Win, I can't trust him because I feel... I feel mocked by my whole workplace. They always talk about him."