beg • woosan (book 2)

21

filler chapter but again tw: mental health
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Wooyoung's heart was racing, and not just from the aftermath of his panic attack. The realization that he had become a burden, a 'problem' to be managed, was a harsh truth that cut deeper than any conversation he could have with San. He had overheard Mingi's phone call, and the denial that surged through him was almost as strong as the delusions that often clouded his mind.

He didn't want to be a burden to his friends. At 32, he felt he should be more in control, more capable of handling his own issues. Yet, the line between reality and the false narratives his mind conjured was blurring, and it frightened him. Wooyoung clung to one certainty amidst the chaos—his love for San. It was real, even if everything else felt like it was slipping away.

When Mingi pulled back the curtains with a smile and checked on him, Wooyoung's first thought was of the phone call. "Was that San?" he asked, hope and fear mingling in his voice.

"No," Mingi lied, meeting Wooyoung's gaze. The lie was a thin veil, easily seen through, and Wooyoung's frustration boiled over. He started to tear at the wires and tubes connected to his body, desperate to free himself from the physical and emotional restraints that bound him.

"You don't want me to be happy?!" Wooyoung yelled, struggling against Mingi's attempts to calm him. "Why can't you support me like I support you?"

Mingi's patience was wearing thin as he tried to prevent Wooyoung from harming himself further. "Yunho and my situation is different—Stop taking the tube out, or I'll call the nurse!" he raised his voice, the urgency clear.

The beeping of the machines intensified as the nurse rushed into the room, quickly assessing the situation. With professional ease and a calming presence, she managed to fix the tubes and wires that Wooyoung had dislodged, stabilizing the monitors again.

Mingi took a deep breath, his heart aching for his friend. "Wooyoung, please," he pleaded softly once the nurse had ensured everything was in order and left the room. "We all want you to be happy. But you have to take care of yourself first. We can't support you in a way that's going to hurt you more in the long run."

Wooyoung's anger dissipated as quickly as it had flared, replaced by an overwhelming exhaustion. He sank back into the pillows, the fight draining out of him. "You know being without him hurts me more," he whispered, closing his eyes against the tears that threatened to fall.

Mingi sighed, his own heart heavy with the responsibility of being the voice of reason. "And you guys together isn't better, whatever happened so far I'm sure it only happened because he felt lonely," he said, trying to convey the hard truths that Wooyoung seemed determined to ignore. "You're just somebody familiar to him, and I really don't want you to get hurt."

It was a harsh assessment, but Mingi believed it needed to be said. The thought of Wooyoung being used as a stopgap for San's loneliness was more than he could bear. He wanted to protect his friend from more heartache, even if it meant pushing him to face a reality he wasn't ready to accept.

"What if I don't mind," Wooyoung countered weakly, his voice barely above a whisper, revealing the depth of his resignation to his feelings.

Mingi looked at his helpless friend with a mix of compassion and frustration. Wooyoung wasn't getting it, or perhaps he was refusing to. The willingness to accept pain for the sake of love was noble in a tragic sort of way, but Mingi couldn't stand by and watch him walk willingly into heartbreak.

"You're going to have to give up, and I will help you out of it," Mingi stated firmly. His words were a promise, a commitment to support Wooyoung even when it meant leading him away from what he desired most. It was a promise to help him heal, to find a path forward where he could be whole without San.

Yunho enters in with a bag, he snuck food in since the hospital food was gross. "how long do we need to be here."

"until wooyoung is okay." mingi flicks yunho, for being impatient.

Wooyoung, feeling the weight of the situation, turned to his phone for a distraction. He wanted to reach out to San, to feel some connection, despite knowing it might not be the best idea. He found San's contact on KakaoTalk and sent a message, trying to keep his emotions in check, especially under Mingi's watchful eye.

wooyoung quickly texts san 'Hi, hope i'm not block here. Just wanted to assure you that Mingi is being over dramatic and i'm fine.'

The response from San was quick but disheartening. 'It sounded serious. I don't want to cause any problems anymore. Let's stop.' The finality of those words hit Wooyoung like a physical blow. His anger, frustration, and hurt coalesced into a single action: tossing his phone across the room.

Mingi jumped at the sudden outburst, and Yunho, caught off guard, asked what had happened. Wooyoung, unable to contain his emotions any longer, snapped at them both, demanding they leave.

"Just fucking get out," he barked, the pain in his voice lacing each word with urgency. "Now."

Yunho and Mingi exchanged a glance, both unsure of how to handle the situation. This was their friend, of 20 years , someone they cared deeply about, but they also recognized that Wooyoung was in a fragile state and perhaps needed some space to process his emotions.

"Okay, Wooyoung, we'll give you some space," Mingi said softly, trying to offer some comfort despite the command to leave. "But we're here for you, okay? We're just outside if you need us."

Yunho nodded in agreement, putting the bag of food down on a nearby table in case Wooyoung wanted it later. He gave Wooyoung a look of concern but respected his wishes and followed Mingi out of the room.

The door clicked shut behind them, leaving Wooyoung alone with his thoughts and a simmering anger that had nowhere to go. The silence in the room was deafening, a stark contrast to the chaos of his inner turmoil. He lay there, staring at the ceiling, trying to make sense of everything that was happening, why is everything is going to shit.