For what I'd do for you

Just a memory

I froze and tensed up not sure of what to do.

Rodent: "what are you, who are you?"

Onyx: "you would think with those big ears you could hear everything"

She scoffed, her haze intoxicating.

Onyx: "Graves thought you died from the impact when you fell, when he found out you made a quick recovery. I was quick to jump on the job....."

Her chuckle rattled my bones, the temperatures dropping rapidly or was she just that deep into my head.

Onyx: "just like how I jumped on your boyfriends dick"

Her fanged white porcelain smile, the only light outside. How stupid was Price? Back to back members joining, both from the other team.

Rodent: "Price will know, where not stupid"

Onyx: "oh honey, you obviously can't tell I have everyone wrapped around my finger. You wouldn't believe how persuasive a blow job is to them"

I snarled at her demeanor causing her to chuckle, she shot a web out, it wrapping around my neck pulling me closer to her, her web was warm like silk.

Onyx: "you're gonna be a good mutt and keep quiet. Yeah?"

I snarled before bowing my head in obedience.

Onyx: "good mutt. Your not as dumb as you look"

She kissed my nose, her scent clogging my nose, my brain, my every thought. She let go of me and walked away back to the building. I sneezed multiple times hoping to get her smell out of my senses but to my failure.

I sighed and put up my hood and went to walk back to the buildings before stopping. If I walked inside the walls would crash around me. I turned around and walked into the thick wood line. I needed to clear my head.

I started jogging, the leaves crunching under my feet.

You don't gotta act so manly. I won't see you differently.

How do you see me then. After...

Still  a dumb mutt.

I ran faster. The rocks jabbing into my feet, I couldn't care.

Never would be jealous of a mutt.

That familiar burn started to fill my eyes. I wouldn't cry over him.....again.

I could help you. It's a simple shot.

The tears started building in my eyes, the scenery turned into a blur it all looked the same.

It's gonna be hard for me to get close to you.

It's against the rules to have relations with a recruit.

Bullshit. All bullshit.

I don't even know you enough to break the walls down for you.

No one has to know.....

Stop please stop.

Call me Simon.....

It wasn't supposed to happen.

Gotta stay professional lieutenant.

Stop. Please.

I collapsed onto the ground on the edge of a cliff. I sobbed, tears pouring down my face. The past 2 months were all a lie.

The thoughts wouldn't stop flooding my mind, I balled into a ball next to a rock wall, pushing my back against the cold stone.

My head was throbbing, my throat burned, my body felt like it weighed a tone. Eventually everything stopped. I was numb everything was quiet.

I took a deep breath, the cold air filling my lungs as my head cleared. It was nothing, like always, nothing.

——time passes——

My eyes opened slowly as I groaned, I sat up and leaned against the rock wall. I picked the leaves off me and out of my hair.

I looked at my watch, 7:49am. I sighed, everyone already left for the mission. I fucked up bad and now everyone had to clean up my mess.

I stood up slowly stretching. I slowly walked back through the woods. Damn I ran for a while.

I walked for what seemed for ever before finally arriving back at camp. I was right they were gone, all of them.

I walked down the empty hall, my feet thudding softly against the wood. I walked to my room and went to open the door.

God dammit, locked. Could this day get any worse. I groaned as I walked back outside, everything hurt. I walked to the end of the building outside of my room. I pushed open the window with all my strength. It was practically super glued shut.

After I got it open I crawled through the window knocking a few rocks I had in the window sill into the floor. I shut the window again shutting out the cold air. It had started snowing, gross.

I walked into my bathroom turning on the light and turning on my shower. I stripped from my dirty clothes and threw them in the laundry basket. I stepped into the shower. The hot water releasing all the tension in my body.

I slid down the shower wall, the cool stones pressing against my back. I sat at the bottom of the shower letting the hot water hit my face, the dirt, grime and tears all washing away down the drain.

I sighed as I stood up slowly and turned off the shower, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I walked to the sink and brushed my teeth avoiding my image in the mirror.

I finished and walked out of the bathroom. I put on a pair of black boxers along with my black basketball shorts and a black tank top.

I walked down the hall to the gym room. I put on my headphones and put on my music. I set up my weight bar for my squats. As soon as I stepped under the bar and prepared my feet my body froze.

I took a deep inhale. That smell, smoke, tobacco, sweat. Ghost.

I shook my head and tried to re gain my focus. Act like he isn't there. I took a deep breath, his musk fogging my thoughts as I squatted down. I went back up and set the bar on the supports.

I looked down and took off my headphones.

Rodent: "your staring...."

Ghost: "only till you notice me...."