thirty-five

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After another few days of basking in the sun and forgetting all their worries, Aurora, Tom, Rachel and Josh had headed home from Bali. During their long flight, Aurora had been able to distract Tom from her anxiety, making jokes and having him watch movies with her. She was sure he hadn't noticed a thing.

Aurora's head was spinning. She regretted agreeing to marry Tom. She wasn't even ready to move in with him, much less marry him. She stayed quiet as they'd finally reached Tom's apartment, thanking the taxi driver as he handed them their bags and they made their way up to Tom's apartment.

"I definitely need a shower" Tom mumbled as Aurora flopped down on his couch, wanting to be alone with her thoughts. In Bali, she'd been able to somewhat escape her feelings, the alcohol collection of their all-inclusive hotel had definitely helped. Aurora laid down and closed her eyes as she heard Tom moving around, getting his things from his suitcase. She flinched as she suddenly felt Tom's fingers against her cheek, stroking it slightly.

"You okay?" she heard him ask.

"Mhmm" she mumbled, not opening her eyes. She knew she would not be able to look Tom in the eye.

"Come shower with me" she heard Tom suggest. Without opening her eyes, she knew he had a huge grin on his face. He'd been extra clingy since they'd gotten engaged, which made Aurora feel even more claustrophobic and caged.

"I'm good here" Aurora mumbled, refusing to open her eyes.

"You tired?" Tom asked, his worry growing as he watched Aurora carefully.

"Yeah. Need a nap" she lied. Tom sighed, giving Aurora's cheek a kiss before heading into the bathroom.

As Aurora heard Tom lock the bathroom door, she sat up, cradling her head in her hands. She felt a wave of nausea hit her as she thought about her situation. She'd let her feelings for Tom overpower her anxiety, but it was back. And stronger than ever. She could hear her ex's voice, telling her she was useless. Better off dead. Aurora grabbed her leather jacket before heading out of the apartment.

She didn't know where she was going, she just kept walking. She knew she needed to get away. She was under so much pressure. Everyone wanted something from her. Everyone wanted her to be okay, but they didn't know, she felt like she'd never be okay again. The bad thoughts had hit her full force after her and Tom's engagement. The fears of what could happen were playing in her mind. She didn't know what she was thinking. She'd never be good enough. She let out a sob as she took off her engagement ring, stuffing it in her pocket.

She wiped away a tear as she stopped outside a bar. She took a few deep breaths before heading in, ready to ease her anxiety.

Tom called out for Aurora as he got out of the shower.

"Baby? You asleep?" he asked as he walked into the living room. He frowned as he saw Aurora gone. Quickly, he went through the rest of the apartment, his panic rising as he realized she wasn't there. He'd noticed she'd been distant lately, but thought she'd just been stressed. He cursed at himself for believing when she'd told him she was okay. Panicking, he dialed Aurora's number but frowned when she didn't pick up.

"Fuck" he mumbled as he dialed Rachel's number.

"What's up Tom?" she answered, but was cut off by Tom explaining the situation.

"Maybe she went out for a walk?" Rachel suggested, trying to ease his mind. But she knew Aurora, and Tom could tell Rachel was panicking as well.

"We need to find her. Right now" Tom said sternly, pulling on his shoes and jacket.

"I'll meet you outside your apartment in 10" he mumbled to Rachel before ending the call.

Tom sighed in relief as Rachel found Aurora using Find my iPhone. They were in an Uber, a minute away from her the bar she was at. Tom wasted no time running out of the cab once they finally reached the bar.

He panted as he opened the door and his gaze ran over unfamiliar people, his heartbeat quickening as he realized he couldn't see Aurora. He felt relief wash over when he saw her emerging from the toilets, frowning as he saw her stumbling. He rushed over to her, pulling her into his arms, relieved that he'd found his girl.

"What are you doing here?" Aurora mumbled at Tom, trying to push him away by his chest.

"Getting you home. Come on" Tom tried, but Aurora was fighting back.

"I don't wanna go with you" she mumbled, taking a few unstable steps away from him.

"Why's that?" Tom asked, swallowing back tears as he watched the love of his life trying to get away from him.

"I don't want to marry you" she mumbled, making Tom freeze as the tears spilled over.

"You don't... You don't want to marry me?" Tom asked, letting his tears fall. Aurora stumbled further away from Tom.

"No" she stated, her hand grabbing a hold of a table as she almost fell down.

"You're drunk" Tom stated, drying his tears. She didn't mean it, she was just freaking out and drunk, Tom told himself. He'd just have to get her home.

"Obviously" Aurora spat, stumbling again. Tom's arms went around her waist, making her flinch as she tried to get away from him.

"Come on. We'll talk about it later" Tom stated, pulling Aurora close to him. Even if she'd hurt him with her words, he still needed her. He needed her touch, her love. All of her.

"No" she stated, trying to get away from Tom's grip. But, she was drunk and Tom was a lot stronger than her. She felt the room start spinning as Tom picked her up and carried her out of the bar.

"Rach" she mumbled as Tom set her down in the Uber and saw a worried looking Rachel sitting next to her.

"It's gonna be okay, Aurora" Rachel stated, frowning as she saw Tom drying his tears. Rachel let Aurora rest her head on her shoulder as they started their drive back to Tom's house.

"You okay?" Rachel asked once Aurora passed out against her shoulder.

"I will be" Tom stated, looking out the window.

"She gets like this sometimes. Tom, if you can't handle it-" Rachel started but was cut off by Tom.

"Do not finish that sentence. I'm not leaving her. Ever" he stated.

The rest of the ride was silent.

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