From The Very Beginning

The Chain

The hour bled late when Sam got back in the Impala. Dean was asleep but Allie stayed wide awake. She was leaning against a wall when Sam stepped inside. 2 am. "You're past your curfew, maybe I should ground you." Allie teased sarcastically. It wasn't like her usual teasing. It was angry and spiteful.

"Where were you, Sam?" But she already knew. The pain of the truth drove her anger forward. Ruby. Over time their connection had swayed more and more, and now the fray had grown unavoidable. In her soul, she knew he had been intimate with her. That hurt the worst. Because he was different. All for a demon.

Sam's shoulders slumped as he closed the door behind him, his eyes flickering with guilt and exhaustion. "I was... talking to someone," He said lamely, rubbing a hand over his face before turning to face her. "Look, Al, I know we need to talk about this whole demon thing—"

"Not someone. Ruby." Allie cut him off and crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you think I'm stupid? Or maybe you just enjoy lying to me." Whatever it was she was tired of it. "You can hide from Dean and you can hide from Bobby— maybe you can even hide from Cass..." Allie trailed off.

"But you can't hide from time. The truth always comes out, Sam." Piercing blue eyes held an intense connection with him.

Sam's jaw clenched, his eyes slanting with defiance. "You think I don't know that?" He snapped. Everyone judged him all the time. Always the freak, always making the wrong decision. "I'm trying to do the right thing here! To protect everyone!"

"But it feels like no matter what I say or do," he continued more softly, running a hand through his hair in frustration, "it only makes things worse."

He took a deep breath and looked away for a moment before meeting Allie's gaze again. "Look... maybe you're right about Ruby. Maybe she is just using me."

"I am right Sam!" Her tone was hushed but firm so as to not wake Dean up. Sam and her had never fought before. They rarely even disagreed. They were both usually just... on the same wavelength. His choices were driving a wedge through their friendship. "She's bad for you!" Allie sighed and ran her hands through her hair to try and calm down.

"I don't even know you anymore, Sam. You aren't the man that's my friend." It hurt to say but he was losing himself. He was secretive, constantly hiding things.

His features melted with regret as he took a step closer to her, his hand reaching out to gently brush away a stray tear that had escaped from the corner of her eye. Allie didn't generally cry, he'd only seen it the night of Dean's death. "I know," He said softly, voice heightened from the weight of her judgment. "And I am so sorry for everything I've put you through."

"But Allie... I can fix this. I promise you, okay? We'll find a way to stop Lucifer and Lilith, and then we can go back to how things were before any of this happened."

She stepped back from him and recoiled away from his touch. "Do you really think that's what will happen? You continue drinking demon blood and pounding a monster then we'll all go back to Superbowl Sundays? Come on!" She hissed as she became more heated.

"You know this is wrong. You gotta know this is wrong!" Taking the kind approach with him didn't seem to be working so she figured maybe the harsh truth would work. Grasping at straws was an understatement. These days Sam was defensive and irritable. Not to mention he would just run off to go to Ruby.

Sam stepped back in frustration, his hands balling into fists at his sides. "I know it's wrong!" He shouted, the sound echoing through the quiet motel room like thunder in the night. "But what else am I supposed to do? We're talking about saving the damn world here! And you think I want this?" His voice cracked on the last word, a boil of all the desperation and pain he was feeling inside.