Leather brushed against wrinkled fingertips. A familiar yet strange sensation. The bench seat in the rear of Baby had witnessed many memories. Sleep, laughter, sex...though not her own. Allie generally tried not to think of those moments. After all, Baby may have felt like a second home but yet the Impala did not belong to her. The black Chevy had become a fleeting temporary residence over time. Sure things were getting back to normal but the mud that now tainted the waters of their once clear connection could still be felt, almost heard from a glued back together heart.
The analogy of a dish being broken and never quite returning back to its original state had stapled itself aggressively inside of a constantly throbbing head. She had wanted for months... well... more than months, really, to be back with them. Now it had come and yet the blonde still found herself unfulfilled. Was it a problem with their frayed connection,
Or was it her?
Across the past month or so some instances arrived where Alice nearly let the words come out. Truthfully, that was. A confession. Not a thinly veiled cry of platonic devotion. Something more real and if the courage spiked within her, perhaps even tangible. Intimacy. Those scenes came and went with no brazen effort of admission displayed and soon the trio fell back into routine. Some adjustments due to Sam's... affliction but still a routine all the same.
If one were to ask Ms. Smith why the water of the love river stayed unspoken and silent within her murky depths - Allie would probably give a slew of excuses, though none would be the master. In reality, she wasn't quite sure why everything was buried six feet deep in her soul and sheltered. With Lisa now out of the picture things should have been as easy as simply stating something along the lines of 'I want my bed to be your bed, too' or maybe 'us is all that there is for me.' both options were grand gestures in their own ways. The words so clear and unpretentious, honest...
And yet she still sat in that closet full of skeletons and restrained emotion. If only subconsciously, most of the time. At least the ache had dulled.
"Al, Did you hear me?" grassy-shaded eyes flickered into the rearview mirror, taking in the proximate blonde. They were back on the road. This should have been easy! Sure a certain melancholy still resided inside of him over the breakup with Lisa but he was back with his family now, his true purpose. However, even that proved complicated. Sam... unable to feel anything? Dean struggled with the thought of touring the country with a shell of the younger Winchester, the one he had practically raised. Life was bullshit. Just all bullshit. Constantly.
And now Alliie seemed distant. He had hoped after their tangle in the web of truth concluded that the two of them would just go back to how they used to be. Before the apocalypse, before Hell. That had always been wishful thinking but a man could dream. Nothing would take them back to that old ease. Now he found himself reflecting on those times. Way back years ago when they thought the end of the world was a ghost hunt gone wrong or a particularly venomous demon. Now somehow those were the good ol' days and Dean lamented with an unfillable void inside himself.
It wasn't just his relationship with Allie; it was what their relationship had represented to him. The decay of their string constituted a loss of youth, of innocence — if he ever had any at all in the first place. Maybe when he was four or five? A long time ago. Outwardly his appearance and biological age was 31! Still young to most but really on the inside? The time in hell...
He was old. He was exhausted, and, even admittedly, lonely. No Sam, No Lisa, barely Allie...
He didn't know how to rebuild. The two had never fallen before, at least not this far down.
BẠN ĐANG ĐỌC
From The Very Beginning
Fanfiction'Allie held a deep-seated resentment towards god. As a child, she was raised Lutheran Christian though it never settled in. She figured her mother needed something to believe in. Leslie Smith was a hopeful woman, despite her life's transgressions. H...
