𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐥 - TMR AU, Thomas

𝟢𝟦𝟥，𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐠𝐞

༺ FORTY - THREE ༻

Thomas is distancing himself. I don't know what it is, but I just hope I'm not the cause. Did I do something wrong? I hope not. Maybe he's just busy trying to recover from the accident while he attempts to stop Janson.

Short replies. Quick interactions at work. Barely any words as he drives me, or us, somewhere. No invitations to hang out or have a sleepover. He's busy when I ask him if he's free.

Whatever. I can't always cling to his side.

Days are actually flying by. And all of them are repeat of the others in some way.

One day, Sonya went to the store and happened to buy me what used to be my favorite chocolate. Then Minho came by and asked if I wanted to join baking cookies with him and Newt. Dad and Mom make meals that have always been my favorites in the past. Aris offers his energy bars every lesson.

I'm sick of it.

Still, I don't want them to interfere with it. But on the other side... I wish to scream at them that it's more serious than they think.

They think that I'll be normal if I eat a few meals. Just get over the 'diet'.

But after all, I lied. So I've got no choice but to deal with the consequences, as I've said.

"Rose?" A hand wiping in front of my blurry vision. "You there?"

"Yes," I say. It barely sounds like my own voice.

"It's the third time I've asked. Minho wonders where to get tickets for The Nutcracker."

My eyes slowly go from Newt to Minho. "Ah."

"So?"

My brain isn't functioning. "So what?"

"Where do I get tickets?"

"Oh," I realize it now. "Some website."

"What's the name?"

"Can't remember." I look down at my sleeves. Cover my cold hands.

"But you and Aris were talking about it the other day," Newt says. "Seriously can't remember?"

I blink a few times. "Wait. It was Sports' website."

Minho gets up from his place on the couch and sits back down next to me, lying a worried hand on my knee. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah."

I don't feel much right now. Words are going into one ear and they leave straight through the other one, just disappearing. My vision has been fuzzy the last days. I'm dizzy. Cold. Emotionless.

"Tommy is coming over," Newt suddenly says. "He'll cheer you up, right? He for sure always does. Has always been doing that, hasn't he?"

"I think so. But Thomas is..." Frowning, I pause. "Busy, I guess. Maybe Teresa can—"

No. I don't really feel like talking a lot right now. Just want to lie in someone's arms and do literally not but have some fingers running through my hair.

My wish comes true when Thomas arrives. The vibe is strange. Not around him, but around the whole four of us. Everyone is silent as I settle myself between his legs, my head on his stomach.

The three boys start speaking. I can't even hear them once Thomas runs his hand through my hair over and over again. It's so nice. Feels nice. Makes me drift away.

But I can't, because I sleep deeper every day.

And I feel like one day, that sleep will be forever.