hiccup ➳ lashton au ☑️

Chapter 13

Dedication to myself. I never give myself enough credit, I'm proud of myself for writing this story. (Sorry if I sound cocky, I don't mean to be.) [ the gif on the side doesn't suit the chapter at all but it makes my heart melt. ]

Ashton's weekend went by way too fast much to his annoyance. Ashton didn't actually expect to have a pleasant weekend, he did though and it was all thanks to Michael and Calum. He was glad to have forgotten about Luke for a bit. Ashton keeps trying to convince himself that he doesn't care for the blonde boy at all, but knows he does. The thoughts just won't seem to go away and the more he keeps trying to will them away, the more he keeps thinking about Luke. It kind of felt like a break up in a way, even though they weren't together. Ashton was hurting but trying not to show it because he can't change the way Luke feels about him.

Luke obviously wasn't gay after all and the thought made Ashton's heart hurt. The feeling of liking a straight guy was actually one of the worst feelings in the world and sometimes Ashton wished he wasn't gay, but only sometimes. The glasses-wearing boy was happy and proud to be gay, it can be a struggle though and that's why he sometimes wished that he wasn't. Ashton couldn't change who he was, he was born gay. Nobody can just 'turn' gay, being gay was like being left handed. Some people are, most people aren't and nobody really knows why. It's not wrong, it's just the way things are. Being gay was pre determined and nobody can change that, including yourself.

Ashton sighed, walking into the boys bathroom and rose an eyebrow when hearing quiet sobs coming from inside a stall. The noise soon stopped when the person realised he wasn't alone and the bathroom filled with an uncomfortable silence, making Ashton blink and just go do his business. As Ashton was washing his hands, he glanced in the mirror and saw a head poking out from under one of the bathroom stall doors. The figure being a familiar blue-eyed blonde boy. Before Ashton could turn around, the figure quickly disappeared and Ashton didn't know how to feel. Why was Luke crying? Ashton didn't even know why he cared, considering Luke basically told Ashton not to speak to him.

Ashton couldn't help but feel concerned though. He thought back to the time when Ashton was upset in the exact same stall almost a month ago and Luke comforted him. Ashton wanted to comfort Luke the exact same way that he did and so badly just to return the favour, it was about time they put their problems behind them because frankly, this has been going on for far too long. It's not that Ashton pitied him, he generally cared for Luke. He cared for him too much for his own good, that's why he needed to be there for him. No matter what they go through, Ashton would always be there for Luke. That's what Ashton does for people he loves-wait.

Did Ashton love Luke? He wasn't sure if he was confusing his feelings but it sure felt like he was in love, although he's never been in love before so he could just be mistaken. Either way, it didn't matter at the minute, right now he needed to be there for Luke. Ashton took a deep breath hearing the sobs start up again, but this time they were a little louder and dry. Ashton limped over to the stall and lightly tapped on the door, earning Luke to gasp.

Ashton swallowed a lump in his throat, nervously saying, "Luke.. Open the door?" When hearing nothing but silence, he continued. "Please? I - I want to help." Silence. Ashton clutched his eyes shut and slid down the stall door so he was actually back to back with Luke, except there was a barrier between the pair.

"I'm not sure what happened - this might sound stupid, but I just care about you a lot and when you told me - you didn't want to talk to me I was upset and angry. It hurt a lot, but my feelings aren't what's important right now. Please talk to me. Say anything, just please." Ashton pleaded, feeling himself getting choked up.

Luke's heart was leaping and breaking at the same time. He regretted saying that to Ashton on the phone, he knew he should have spoken to him and maybe told him about his brother - he just wasn't ready to talk to anyone. However, now he feels alone and depressed and needs to talk to someone other than his mother who has constantly been on his case about outfits for the funeral. He can't even think about that right now, it was this weekend and he still hasn't even bothered to get something to wear. He didn't want to go if he was being honest, he didn't want to have to say goodbye because he shouldn't have to. This shouldn't have happened and he was just so angry. He wanted to tell Ashton everything, the sincerity in his voice once again had him hypnotised and he needed Ashton more than anything.