Fuck Up The Friendship | Tom Blyth

26

Bella lingered in the shower as long as she could. After getting ready for the day, she sat down on the counter of the bathroom and opened her phone, deciding to check what Tom had said to her last night.

'please forgive me'

'i'm sorry for hurting you'

Bella closed her eyes as they brimmed with tears, closing her phone before hopping off the counter, slowly making her way out of the bathroom, knowing she would have to face Tom eventually. She felt embarrassed that he now knew her biggest secret. She also felt guilty for scaring him.

Tom smiled at Bella as she walked out of the bathroom, holding out a to-go cup of coffee for her. She took it with a quiet 'thank you' as she sat down on the bed next to Tom. Her gaze was fixed on the cup, feeling embarrassed.

"Bella?" Tom spoke out, making her hum, but not lift her gaze.

"Are you mad at me?" she heard him ask.

"Of course not" she answered, taking a sip of her coffee.

"I'm... Sorry for last night" Tom stated, biting his lower lip nervously.

"I should be the one apologizing. You did nothing wrong" Bella stated, still not looking up at Tom.

"I'm just... Worried about you" Tom breathed out, gently setting his hand on Bella's thigh.

"You don't need to be. I'm fine" Bella stated, eyeing Tom's hand. She shouldn't let him this close, she knew that.

"Bella I..." Tom started but trailed off, fiddling with his rings nervously.

"What is it?" Bella asked, her eyes still on Tom's hand that was on her so gently, sending electric currents throughout her body.

"I still... I still need you. I want to be with you" he spoke out carefully, making Bella's gaze finally snap to his face.

"You shouldn't. I fucking punched a wall, Tom. Just, don't" she stated, biting her lower lip in shame. Tom sighed as he pulled her to his chest gently, hugging her.

"I'm sorry I made you feel anxious" Tom stated, kissing the top of her head.

"Maybe we shouldn't... Hang out anymore" Bella suddenly spoke out, making Tom pull away from her and stare at her dumbfoundedly.

"No. That's not what we're going to do, you're not going to push me away" he spoke, furrowing his brows. And god, Bella just wanted to kiss him, to love him. But she couldn't. Not when she was this fucked up and didn't deserve him.

"I'm gonna stay with Laura for the rest of the trip" Bella spoke, not meeting Tom's gaze.

"Bella, fuck... Don't do this to me" he pleaded, tears brimming in his eyes.

"It's for the best" Bella spoke, trying to convince both herself and Tom.

"Fuck that" Tom spoke, trying to grab Bella's hand but she stood up, making Tom frown.

"Bella, please..." he pleaded, tears streaming down his face.

"I'm trying to do the right thing" Bella spoke, not turning around to face him. She couldn't bear to look at him as she grabbed her stuff and once again, walked out of the room.