Rejection in any form sucks....but rejection from Bodhi really really sucks. I'm not going to lie and say I'm happy he stopped us but I'm also slightly grateful he did....I was not in the right headspace to make a decision like that, not when I couldn't keep Ryuu out. His needs were becoming my needs.
But it still hurts.
Bodhi is the first person I've kissed since Liam, and while the guilt I feel at the idea of moving on seems overwhelming....kissing him felt natural.....and that was truly terrifying.
Vi opens her door and I instantly start sobbing. Her arms wrap around me in a hug pulling me inside her dorm room.
"Ryuu....Nuri.......Bodhi....and I......" My words a jumbled mess as I try to explain to her. She pulls back looking at my tearful expression.
"Ryuu and Nuri were having some alone time" She questions with a bit of a blush. She's the only one who can understand this....even if it's completely weird to talk about.
I nod my head yes. Her eyes widen slightly as she discerns my jumbled words.
"Did you and Bodhi do......." She trails off in question.
"A lot of kissing..." my voice is barely above a whisper. "I'm a horrible person Vi....."
"No you're not." She states matter of fact.
"But I am.....I liked kissing him, it wasn't just the needs of Ryuu.....I wanted Bodhi to kiss me.....I let it happen and I would have probably done more if he didn't reject me.....and im scared to admit all of this out loud because Liam was everything and now I'm sitting here crying because I kissed someone else...." I wipe my tears furiously. "Just admit it Vi, I'm the worst of the worst."
She leads me over to her bed as we both sit down. Her hand resting on my shoulder gathering her thoughts.
"You are not a horrible person Wren....you have the right to move on, even if it feels strange....and yes you're probably going to feel guilty for a long while before you find the right person again."
"That's the problem....Bodhi felt right." I interrupt her.
"Okay....well that changes things." She pauses dropping her hand. "Do you want more with Bodhi?" She questions carefully.
"I'm not ready.....I don't have the strength to give away my heart again. I barely survived the last time....I can't....I can't let myself go there with Bodhi not right now." I admit.
"Maybe some distance between the two of you would be good." She offers but my stomach twist at the thought of not spending time with him like I've become accustomed to. I lay back on her bed my legs dangling off the side.
"I know you're feeling guilty and all but....how was it?" She questions curiously.
"Vi!" My mouth drops open in shock.
"I mean....he is Xaden's cousin...." She starts before both our laughter fills the small space of her bedroom.
"He definitely knows what he's doing" I admit as she squeals a bit. We spend the next hour talking about today, between Sloane's directed anger at her, us almost burning alive, and Bodhi. It felt good to have some girl time to actually gossip, it's been so long since we've done this.
It recharged me in someway. I needed this time to center myself especially after all these big emotions swirl inside me.
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The next morning after breakfast I'm walking the courtyard with Ridoc who shockingly has yet to make a joke and instead has been holding a serious conversation with me.
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Only For A Moment // Fourth Wing x OC
FanfictionWren's life seemed forever changed when she joined the Riders Quadrant....Until she went and fell in love with Liam Mairi. His death ruined her, the kind that made her question everything she stood for....everything she knew. Being around her friend...
