Only For A Moment // Fourth Wing x OC

Chapter Twenty Eight - My Once and a Lifetime

I saw him, I was so close.....that beauitful perfect dimpled smile met mine again. I wanted to take his hand and follow him. I wanted so desperately to give in but then I heard him....I heard Bodhi begging me not to leave him.

I couldn't...

I couldn't leave him when I know how it feels to be the person who was left. I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't do to him, what Liam did to me. So I strained to shut my mental shields. Used the rest of my strength, pulling on our bond to bring me back to him.

Riorson and Vi finally left about an hour ago not before I got a lecture from her about not pulling something like that again. Bodhi didn't waste any time wrapping me in his arms and crushing me to his body. We didn't talk for awhile, the silence in the room was loud but I couldn't speak.

"Talk to me Wren....what happened." he questions me. I didn't want to answer, didn't want to admit what happened to him. Not after his confession. Guilt consuming me once more. I was not built to be more than a one man type of girl, and while I don't regret what happened with Ridic...it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with trying to force myself to move on.....everything to do with the realization that I wanted it to be Bodhi.

I'm terrified to push myself again.

"I tried to move on...." I admit my voice breaking. Bodhi's body instantly tenses.

"You don't have to say anymore....I get it." His voice was soothing as he rubbed my back.

I'm an awful fucking person. I want to be what he wants but I don't know how to....I'm so terrified to lose him like I lost Liam. I don't think I would survive losing Bodhi....he's truly been the only person keeping me together....but how much longer will he wait for me, how much shit will I put him through before he realizes I'm not worth the risk.

"You shouldn't love me..." I whisper. I could feel the moment his body freezes. Could hear the way his heart kicked up a notch.

"Why....why do you say that?" He questions so calmly.

"Because I'm a terrible human. I don't deserve you....." I sniffle trying to hold in my tears.

"I broke....I actually fucking broke because I tried to move on from Liam and afterwards the guilt consumed me.....it had felt like my soul was being ripped out again. How am I supposed to do any of this when I feel so guilty." I wipe furiously at my eyes trying to stop the tears.

Bodhi moves so he can get a better look at my face, his hands brushing back my wild curls.

"You are not a terrible person and you do fucking deserve me Wren....you deserve more than you've been given in this life....fuck!" His voice rising at the end.

"If you could only see yourself through my eyes....your passionate and feisty....not to mention stubborn as fuck, but your heart....gods your heart is filled with a type of kindness you don't know until you've experienced it....your thoughts, damn your thoughts are hazardous to my fucking health. All the damn warning signs couldn't keep me from wanting to be with you...." His eyes search mine as they fill with a fresh set of tears.

"Don't you see Wren, I'm not going anywhere....I'm yours, and I'll be yours until I meet Malek. I told you to go out and explore your options....I don't fucking like hearing you did but I'm not running away. I am here for your forever." He leans in kissing me with every ounce of pent up longing he has suffered. Every nerve ending in my body exploding.

He pulls away, those golden eyes on mine. "I know you feel this....I think it terrifies you to admit that you feel how right this feels between us.....like our souls have been searching for each other. You're terrified of scenarios that won't happen.....but you don't have to be. I'm not leaving you Wren....I'm not Liam...if you ask me not to leave you, I'll fight Malek myself to get back to you."

He's right....I do feel this, perhaps I've felt it all along but I was so in love with Liam I didn't realize....it's undeniable this pull towards him. My need to be near him, to know he's not far. The way his own essence....soul....caresses my mind with his golden shimmer.

I know what this is with Bodhi, but I'm not ready to admit it out loud.

"You're right....but I can't....I'm scared." I admit in a whisper.

"I know you are...that's why I'm not pushing you, I'll wait forever for you to be ready."

Gods he was perfect......I truly don't deserve him.

He spent the rest of the night rubbing my back as I slept on his chest. I didn't even realize how much I needed this sleep until I woke up to Bodhi watching me with careful eyes.

"Please tell me you got some sleep?" I question.

"Then I would be lying." He answers without a second thought. Kissing my forehead.

"Bodhi!" I slap his chest. He stays silent for a moment, second guessing something before ultimately deciding to speak up.

"I was terrified last night....I almost lost you, I couldn't sleep. I tried but I couldn't." He admits.

My heart is stuck in my throat, my stomach a knotted mess. I've caused him so much trouble already. My hand instinctively meets his cheek with a tender caress, he leans into my touch closing his eye for a moment.

"I'm so sorry...." I apologize. I lean in brushing my lips with his. "I'm sorry..." I say once more pulling away.

"I know....I know it defies all logic....that science and shit are real. But damnit if you don't realize that you're brighter than the fucking sun. That my entire world revolves around you." He pauses for a brief moment his eyes scanning my face. "I know I'll never be Liam....that you had that once and a lifetime love but you're my once and a lifetime Wren."

It felt like my entire body exploded in goosebumps....my heart was pounding with excitement. My stomach was being trampled by a whole zoo.

I was his once and a lifetime.....

And he's mine..