No More Goody Two Shoes [Emo Love Story]

No More Goody Two Shoes [Emo Love Story] 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Do you not feel this too?" He said softly, letting a single tear run through the soft black line of makeup.

"Feel what? Broken? Confused? I feel every emotion right now" I laughed although I was holding in my tears.

"You don't feel the connection? The one where as soon as I see you, I realize how much I need you, how much I missed you. Do you not get that?" His jaw shook slightly, and I could see him clench his jaw to stop the shaking.

I opened my mouth but nothing but laughs came out, not happy laughs, panic laughs. "I do," I mumbled with an inhale, "I do feel that. But that's not my question" I took a few deep breaths. "My question was, are we too serious?" 

"No, too serious is already planning on having kids, and having a life. We're teenagers, and I sure as hell don't know what I'm going to do when I graduate high school, if I ever do. You have a life, and you have chances. It's truly up to you," he took a breath in and let it out slowly, laying back down, not touching me. It scared me how much it hurt my feelings that we weren't hugging while we were both letting tears run loose. "Do you want a life with me?"

"I don't know, I just want to see where things go. I don't want to have to keep waiting for you to call, or waiting for you to come back. We're already serious, look at me. I'm getting my feelings hurt because you're not comforting me. We're already serious in my eyes." I whispered. As soon as I closed my mouth, he hugged me tight. 

"I want this to work out," he kissed my forehead. 

I had the worst headache, my throat hurt, and I was seriously considering curling up in a ball to rot away and die. Why would I have even brought this up? Now he's probably mad at me... And I care too much, why should I care if he's mad? I'm the one who wanted this conversation to happen. I started it. 

He had gone to tell my mother the full story of his disapearence, kissing my forehead before leaving. I fell asleep on my bed, curled up on the edge with his teddy bear suffocating against my chest. 

I woke up when someone was trying to take the bear away from me. "Gimme" I grumbled, opening one eye. Chase kneeled beside me.

"I was trying to give it back," he gave a sad, small smile, "you dropped it."

"Sorry," I mumbled in the quickest voice I could manage to make it sound more sincere. "Will you lay with me?" I asked, opening one eye again. 

He watched me for a second, and I reached down with the hand not holding the bear and pulled his arm over me, rolling away. He still kneeled on the ground, just his arm was over me now. "Push over, bed hog." He kissed my ear when he said it, and I glanced over my shoulder.

"There's enough room," I smiled a little and he laid on the very edge.

"As long as you let me hold half of the teddy," he smiled back. 

Waking up had never been better. I had forgot that Chase was back, and I didn't remember the talk we had until I heard his voice. 

"Good morning sleeping beauty," he whispered, putting his hand on my face. "You've been sleeping for at least fourteen hours."

"I feel like I got hit by a truck." I stretched my arms and legs out before curling back into a ball. He wasn't touching me at all again, and instead of getting upset, I just pushed my lips up and he leaned in to kiss me. I smiled a little as he pulled me in to his chest. 

Is this what I wanted?

I thought back to those first days I had met him. He was a complete ass, whining about the color of his new room. To me, he had been nothing more then a mere teenage boy living in my house.

What did he mean to me today? He meant everything, more than my own life. 

That's what scared me most. I looked up into his blue eyes, smiled sadly, and closed my eyes yet again. He kissed them lightly. My life was in his hands.