No More Goody Two Shoes [Emo Love Story]

No More Goody Two Shoes [Emo Love Story] 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

School was to be closed for the rest of the week. Devann was facing more charges than before, and Levi was found to be the one having Devann with him. Levi was going to jail for three months. Devann was facing death penalty, but most likely wouldn't considering he's too good for it. 

Chase sat with  me on the couch. We sat close but in my heart I knew we were distant. I sighed slighly, unmeaning to. He put his hand to my face and pulled it to face his. I looked at his hand, and didn't want to look into his eyes.

"What's wrong? You promised me you'd smile once Devann was locked up." He whispered, "Sam, please look at me," he whispered even more softly. 

I brought my eyes to look at his sad face, filled with concern. 

"Your eyes are so beautiful," he kissed my eyelids. "Tell me why you're sad."

"You promised we wouldn't break up," I said quietly, "you promised things wouldn't be awkward," I looked back down at his hand against my face, "but it's awkward now, and I feel so distant." 

"You've just gone through a tramatic time, darling. I wouldn't expect anything more than for you to feel distant," he smiled a little. 

Once again the question of who am I popped into my head. I wasn't anyone I knew. I was someone else. 

I lost track of time, I just drifted. I went along with everything else. No one understood what was going through my head, not even I could understand. Chase was slowly growing more concerned with my lack of intrest in everything. My grades dropped fast, my eyes grew droopy, my body was shrinking away.

I sat at the dinner table, pushing the food around in circles on my plate. The food that had sat there was my favorite dinner, why were we having it? Everyone other than I hated it. My mother pushed her plate up the table, slamming her hands on the edge. "Would you please just eat something!" She said to me, I was shocked. My face didn't show any emotion, I just stared at her. Chase squeezed my leg under the table.

"Sweetie," My father said to my mother, putting his hand on hers. She sat down, breathing deeply to calm herself. "Pumpkin," dad looked at me. "We're worried." He said softly, "are you alright? We don't know what to think anymore, are you on drugs? Are you depressed? What's going on?" He took a deep breath just like my mother was.

Chase sat silently, although I wish he'd speak for me. But he didn't know what my problem was either. "I'm not on drugs," was the only thing I said. Was I depressed? WHY was I depressed? Devann's locked up for good, I have everyone I love safe. What is my reasoning for this feeling?

"Then what is it?" Chase asked. Now my face held the shock I had. Chase was in on this. 

My jaw shook as I tried to say something. Instead I just put a thinly cut piece of carrot in my mouth. I just kept putting the carrots in my mouth, maybe they'd think I was fine now. 

"What can we do to help?" My mother asked, a tear in her eye.

"I'm fine," I whispered, "it's just a phase, I'll be normal in no time."

No one said a thing. I started to get up, but Chase pushed on my leg, "Sam," he said quietly. I sat down as he pushed my plate back to me, sliding the fork between my fingers. My mom and dad didn't look at our faces, just the food on my plate. Holding their breath. 

I decided to let them breathe as I took a bite of food, feeling almost disgusted as to how easily I gave in to Chase. "There you go," he whispered and kissed my hand softly. I looked at where he had kissed; my hand was discolored - not even discolored. It didn't have a color. My skin was gray. I hadn't seen my self in a mirror. I stood up to go see myself, Chase pushed his hand back on my leg again.

"Keep eating, please." Chase's blue eyes had turned steel gray. He was fading away just like I was. My parents must have thought we'd been doing some terrible drugs together and both happened to be addicted.

I kept eating. Everyone was quiet again and my parents had started to eat as well. Until everyone heard the soft chime of the doorbell. My mother stood up slowly, rubbed her face and threw on a smile. I could see it in her eyes, she knew who was at the door.

She opened the door, and in came aunt Kayce. "Surpriseee!" She screeched. My mouth held a tight line as she came rushing in, hugging my mother. Her kids followed and behind the small children was Jarad, their father. "Hows the birthday girl!" She added as she came over to the table. 

Birthday girl? It was my birthday? The dinner, the talk, the eagerness for me to smile and be happy. I was a year older, had I really missed out this much on life?

I stood up without letting Chase hold me down, hugged that terrible lady, and smiled happily. "The birthday girl is wonderful!" I laughed a little. My charade had faded fast as they said they were staying the weekend. 

I thought to myself, why was I acting this way? The depression? I was hurting my family. Why did I feel like I should be depressed? Attention. I needed more attention. I was spoiled with it, and then it all faded out once Chase got here. It had come back after Devann had hurt me, and before his arrest. And now, here I was, depressed, begging for attention. I had gotten enough attention to last me a lifetime.