No More Goody Two Shoes [Emo Love Story]

No More Goody Two Shoes 48

Forty Eight

"I think I better stay in the other room tonight," I mumbled after a nice dinner of lemon chicken.

"Are you sure?" he frowned at me.

"Yes," I said softly. "I need my suitcase." I added.

"It's in my room."

"I'll get it," I whispered and stood up from the couch. He followed, and stood at his door as I looked around the room for the suitcase.

"It's in my closet." he said.

I opened the door and saw my empty suitcase. My clothes were folded neatly or hanging beside his clothes. My makeup was lined up on a shelf, along with the teddy bear. My shoes were against the wall, lined up just as neat as my makeup.

"Oh..." I whispered with a heavy sigh.

"If I knew you'd not want to stay in here..." he mumbled.

"It's fine," I mumbled and grabbed my pink and black flannel PJ's and a tank top. I looked at Chase before grabbing the teddy bear as well. He gave me a small smile. I walked towards the door and he grabbed my hand.

"May I come to your room and cuddle?" he asked softly. I nodded slowly at him.

We laid in the guest bed that was directly across from his room, which wasn't the same one I had slept in the other night. His arm was around my shoulders and my head on his chest. "I'm sorry," I whispered to him.

"For what?" he whispered back.

I didn't say anything for a couple moments, trying to find the right words. "For not being yours." I murmured. His chest stopped mid fall, he held his breath and then swallowed. He breathed out again.

"No," he said. "I... I'm sorry for asking. I can't stop myself from needing you, or loving you, or wanting every part of you to be mine. I can't let you go and I'm scared that you'll leave, I suppose I just need reassurance."

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yes, you're here. In a separate room."

"Chase." I sat up and he did as well. "It's not a matter of me liking - loving - you. It's a matter of me still being married to Kyle. We took it too far the other day. I feel like I completely cheated on Kyle."

"You didn't." he said and grabbed my hands. "You guys are separated. You may not be legally separate yet, but you're not together. Don't think of being officially separated by the law, it's official when you say it is."

"Fine," I whispered.

"What's fine?" he twisted his fingers between mine. "Sam." he whispered when I didn't respond. I just shook my head.

"I just want to be completely single when we start again."

"We already started again." he whispered in my ear.

Friday came almost too soon. I wasn't ready to go through this. I was ready for legal separation, but I wasn't ready to hear what he'd be charged with due to our fight. I was sitting at a long brown desk, we weren't in a courtroom, just a conference room with a judge sitting at one end, me and Chase one one side, and Kyle and his sleazy lawyer on the opposite side.

It started with Chase (Charlie) talking about why the divorce was happening. Kyle's lawyer spoke in limited legal terms, and I knew Chase would be winning this case. I momentarily wondered how I would pay for Chase's services.