Skulls and Sins (18+)

At night, his eyes shine

His body felt frozen,  eyes locked on the decaying bodies, littered on  the ground before the entrance. The street was quiet like any stray cat  or car had snapped  out of existence. He felt like a elephant had stepped on his chest,  eyes tearing up and slowly lifted up his hands. His eyes widened in horror as the scene processed within his mind: blood trickled  down his claws, discoloring his black fur in a mixture of red and  black.
"NO"  He yelped out jolting up in his bed. He heaved for air,  tears  streaming down his face as he shakily grabbed himself: slowly rocking  back and forward in the dark of the room. Blue lights flushed  through  the window of the porch, slicing half of the room of its  darkness. He  forcefully inhaled and counted. 1. He exhaled. 2. He  inhaled. 3. He  exhaled. 4. He inhaled. As he counted, he ignored the  loud beat of his  drumming heart in his ears. 5.. he exhaled. He blinked  through the  tears and his eyes locked on a small poleroid picture at the  wall in  front of him. 6. He inhaled. A red head dangled her arm around a  guy  with a annoyed look on his young face. The familiar wooden wall  fell  out of focus on the picture. He could almost smell the birthday  cake.  He shuffled out of bed and grabbed a t shirt and jacket. He needed  air.

The  streets were eerily quiet, dark like the night sky  above, or what had  been scientifically created to be the night sky. He  settled on the  pavement and fished out a old paper pack of cigarettes.
"You know cigarettes gives you cancer right..?" A soft musky voice broke his quiet thoughtful gaze and he groaned annoyed.
"I'm not in the mood for a hookup" He snapped and fished out a lighter from his inner jacket pocket.
"Or   we could just talk?" Evie proposed in a calm soft voice as he sat down   besides her on the pavement. Crowley ignored his advance and flicked  the  lighter on and lifted the cigar to the flame. A small flame circled   from the cigar bun as it was lit up and danced in the air, the large   brown building walls behind unfocused behind the flame. Then another   cigar appears in his peripheral view. He glanced at Evie. Suspiciously.   What did he want? Evie was quiet, watching as Crowley debated.
"Don't   think I owe you sex" He muttered and shifted the flame to hit his   cigar. It lit up and Crow leaned back to take a soft inhale of the   burning smoke. It'd been artificially created by Lucifer's company. A   kind of drug that deafened his anxiety, his stress. He breathed out a   purple swirling smoke and watched it dance in the air.
"I didn't   join you at the bar that night to hook up with you.." Evie replied.   Crowley scoffed and took another puff. He felt Evie's stare and shifted   his gaze to see his eyes look back, a pair of soft brown eyes laced  with  a mixture of concern and uncertainty in his lively eyes.
"What?" Crowley muttered, monotonly. He wasn't interested. He couldn't be.
"We..   didn't sleep together.." Evie didn't speak like he'd normally do, non   of that confidence and flirtious undertone, just genuine. Unsure.   Crowley quirked a brow. Taken aback by the information. He just assumed they'd slept together and he'd suppressed it like all of the   other times.
"I was drunk. Why not?" Crowley muttered, attempting to put on his usual mask of aggressive annoyance.
"You   said you didn't want to.." he replied softly. His eyes widened as a  part of that night came back. He'd cuddled into Evie, and the two had   fallen asleep. He felt his persona shake as he realized this. Why did he listen? Why did he of all people listen? He didn't realize he had   tightened his fists so hard they shook until he felt Evie's cold hands  gently untie them and flinched.
"I don't want a boyfriend" Crowley lied through his gritted teeth. But he did. It just wasn't the right time.
"Oh..   I thought you were.. I'm sorry" Evie stuttered in his words, taken aback by the words and leaned a bit away, as if to give Crow space.
"No.." Crowley bursted out, turning to him. His surprised expression reflected in Crowleys on.
"I..   am.." Crowley said slowly. It felt weird to admit it. He knew he wasn't straight when he met Scarlet for the first time and found out  about bisexuals but it felt weird to admit it like this. Back in the 19th hundred's he would've been disowned and killed for even implying  it.  Evie frowned confused. Their state lasted for a minute of just  silence.  Like he didn't need to speak. That his eyes spoke for him.
"Want to come.. inside?" Crowley asked awkwardly. Evie grinned mischievously causing Crowley's cheeks to flush red.
"Not in that way!" He yelped out. Evie chuckled softly: a comforting tune to  his ears, and nodded. Crowley brushes dust of his pants and stands up. Just do it. He musters up the courage and lifts out his hand to  him. He  looks up at him with a soft smile and grabs it gently: it felt  soft, comforting in his, as he tugged him up and fished for the keys to  the  apartment. The door clicked open and he waved a hand in front of  him.
"Ladies first" He said sarcastically. Evie chuckled softly and  laced his hand  in his before he walked in with Crowley trailing behind,  eyes widened in  surprise. They walked up the staircase slowly so it wouldn't wake up the other residents; when they made their way to the apartment Scarlet owned, He fished out the card and leaned it into  the scanner  which bleeped and the door clicked open. Evie entered  first, bathing in  the dark blue light of the moon through the windows.  Crowley smiled and closed the door.
"Coffee?" Crow offered and Evie  nodded and settled  down on the couch side. Crowley poured the coffee  into two cups, grabbed  ice chips and milk from the fridge and plopped  down besides him.
"So  how come a handsome young man like you end up  down here in Eitr?" Evie  asked and grabbed his coffee to sip on.  Crowley poured some milk in his  coffee.
"Possible hookups and ladies  for the rest of my life? It was a  deal I couldn't say no to" He  replied in his usual loose flirty voice,  though sarcasm laced his  words. Not like half of it wasn't true. Evie  chuckled softly.
"And  have you had any good hookups lately?" He  flirtatiously asked. He  stopped in his tracks. His last hook up was.. he  shook his head and  dropped the ice cubes into the coffee and took a  long sip. The caffeine  should wake him right up.
"Yeah girls have been begging me to fuck them since I got here" He smirked.
"Well   now I'm curious.." He lifted his gaze to see Evie slowly lean in and   froze. It'd be like kissing a wall again. He closed his eyes and leaned   in then felt a soft hand cup around his cheeks and reopened his eyes.
"You seem strained.. anxious" Evie said softly. Crow stopped, frozen with surprise.
"I'm   sorry I misread the room" Evie chuckled softly and leaned back, to  take  a sip of the coffee. Crowley just wanted to make himself as small  as he  possibly could. It was embarrassing. He felt light headed and  fueled by  whatever drug Tango laced the cigarettes with.
"Hey you okay-"
"I want to kiss you" Crowley blurted out. Evie's eyes widened in surprise yet a second later shifted to concern.
"It   just.." he hesitated. He'd never explained this to someone before but   he felt like she should know. Even if they didn't date, it was a good   first try wasn't it? And maybe it'd let him loose the anxiety of it. And   understand why he was like this.
"It wouldn't feel right as I know I   should feel good when I kiss you but I don't.. I feel like I'm kissing  a  brick wall.. " He blurted out anxiously then realized what he'd just   implied and fumbled. "and it's not just you.. it's every partner I've   been with.. I just.." he sighed slow. "I can't do something I don't   enjoy knowing you want me to enjoy it.." His gaze faltered to the table.   Waiting for his response. For him to leave. Another lost cause. He was   dysfunctional. Unnatural. What being wouldn't love having sex some   someone else? What's wrong with him?
"Hey.." he felt his cheek get   cupped and slowly shifted his expression to Evie. He was smiling softly,   a smile brighter then the night sky flushing through the window behind   them.
"It's okay. I still like you.." He replied softly and for a   moment, allowed himself to pretend it was okay. That his life wasn't   messed up and Evie wanted him for him.
"I'm a freak" He muttered   softly. Evie shook his head and gently kissed the top of his head, then   shuffled the two onto the couch with Crowley into his shoulders.
"You're   not even close to a freak. I'm pretty sure those drunks wandering   around at night harassing girls are more freaks then you" Evie said with   a chuckle. He chuckled and gently nuzzled into her arm. For a moment,   he felt safe. A odd sensation he hadn't relieved since.. he shook his   head.
"So what kind of movies do you wanna watch?" Evie asked as she   grabbed the remote and shuffled through Netflix. Crowley bit his lip.
"Paranormal activity" He chirped in. Evie chuckled staring down at him amused.
"Really?" He asked.
"Yes.   Trust me, it's so bad it's hilarious" Crowley replied confidently.   Scarlet and him binged the movies when they got drunk and would laugh   about the jump-scares. It was always a good time. Evie turned on the   film and as the intro played, Crowley suddenly felt awkward. Where was   he suppose to sit? What was he suppose to do? He felt Evie's arm lay   around his neck and his other hand started to play with his hair   strands. He awkwardly shuffled into his neck and watched the   introduction of the household, smiling to himself.