cold war

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After washing his hair again the next day Suga was satisfied with his hair , admittedly it was whiter than he had first thought it would be but it was no worse than some of the blondes he'd been in the past.

When Teri had messaged that morning asking about his hair he had replied it was satisfactory and he wouldn't need her help.

At some point during the night he had decided to take a step back from  chasing of Teri, with the mind set you win some you lose some...He wanted her physically still obviously,  but offering her more wasn't an option so the best thing he could do for her was to treat her the same as he treated the other assistants.. as though invisible.  

For the most part Suga's plan worked, he immersed himself in work, when not performing he locked himself in his room and wrote, occasionally he would catch Teri looking at him with a confused look on her face but he purposely ignored saying or doing anything with her unless absolutely necessary . 

When he was busy it was easy, easy to forget how much he had wanted her, how much he had wanted to kiss her and even how much he had actually started to worry about her, but when he was laying in his bed at night he would often recall her, sometimes it would be her rare but beautiful smile, sometimes it would be the flashes of anger that he knew she directed at him still, and sometimes , the worst time would be when he remembered her look of fear. it haunted him and he didn't like it .

They were leaving Germany in the morning and heading to their next destination, He was sat on the edge of his bed with half a can of beer in his hand, Jin and J-Hope had not long left to pack and he was left contemplating the problem of Rm as well as his own private problem of Teri. The last couple of weeks had flown, in a way, because of their work schedule  , but not fast enough for Rm who was hurting, they could all see it and he genuinely wondered if he would make it to the end of the tour with out breaking and that played heavily on his mind and then there was Teri  , he  still had to see Teri every evening, and he didn't like how guilty he felt , she must be wondering at his sudden change towards her and he hated to think what she thought of him now , and hated that that bothered him.

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Teri was exhausted, physically and emotionally.. the day after the hair fiasco she had nervously messaged in the morning asking how his hair was and his curt its fine I don't need you , had shocked her.

Going about her evening preparations she had been nervous again wondering if he would bring up anything from the night before, but he hadn't. The others had all commented on Suga's hair when they had seen it the first time and when Jin had asked who had done it she had held her breath , straining to hear his response but all he had said was he had got one of the assistants to do it..so she was just one of the assistants now , she had thought, not knowing whether to be pissed off or happy he was ignoring her.

At first she had questioned his behaviour and wondered how long before he did or said something to get a response out of her , but as the days turned into weeks she had understood , their game had become a cold war, one where neither side would win.

The worst part was , she found herself wanting his attention again, just when she had decided to not be afraid of him he had retreated and she didn't know how to start the game back up again. She wondered what had caused the change of attitude and wondered what exactly she had done.

She wished she could ask him but she was still his subordinate and  it wasn't her place.

She rubbed her wrist, she took the back slab off when she was alone in her room now, it ached but didn't hurt , the company's doctors had said another couple of days and she could keep it off .. she couldn't wait, although having the strap on her wrist hadn't really stopped her doing her job it had made everything just that little bit harder.

Absently twisting her wine glass in her good hand , she stared out the hotel window. they were leaving tomorrow and she wondered if her supervisor would let her switch artists, but then she caught her reflection in the window and thought' why should I?' ' because being around him every day was draining her ' she answered her reflection, touching him, dressing him, being close to him was ... frustrating.. seeing him ignore her was infuriating ..it was all very stressful. 

She stood up, wobbled slightly  and then started to pace.. why should she feel bad, ? they had both been playing the game , why did he get to put the brakes on and not even tell her why? 

She was feeling angry again, the wine was making her brave and she wondered what he would say if she turned up at his door... demanding an answer....he would probably sack you  came her thoughts.

She stopped her pacing and looked around her hotel room , her room mate was out somewhere , their suitcases where packed by the door , did she really want to risk this job for what ? for an answer to a question she wasn't even sure she wanted to ask? wasn't it better this way, better to not push Suga too much, he had backed off for a reason, didn't she have any pride ? was she really willing  to risk all her hard work to be rejected ?

Unfortunately she answered yes to her own questions, the wine glass empty in her hand .

She didn't like running away from a fight , it made her feel weak every time in the past when she had had to retreat, this was a fight she was now not scared of, if he rejected her , so what, who did he think he was anyway, maybe all those Suga marry me's had gone to his head?

She knew she was tipsy, she knew she should be in bed relaxing , she knew with out a shadow of a doubt that going to Suga's room was a terrible terrible idea..but that didn't stop her putting her glass down and putting her shoes on and heading to her hotel door.



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