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Zasranets

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Zasranets

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Sneaking around like a rat Imani tried to make as little sound as possible as she threw things into the small gap in the top of her new suitcase, shoving dented cans of food down it hoping they didn't damage anything else she had put into the bag.

Every so often she'd freeze when she heard the voices get a bit to close, they had followed her into target obviously looking for supplies themselves. She could hear the murmurs of multiple voices all male sounding, but she really couldn't tell.

Making her way to the last section she'd visit she grabbed body washes and moisturisers all in a strawberry scent as well as multiple packets of Venus shaver replacement heads and shaving cream. Jut because it was an apocalypse didn't mean she had to smell bad. She liked her everything showers and baths too much.

Listening for the voices she heard nothing and so she quickly scurried across the aisle into the next one, grabbing as many feminine products as she could she pushed them into to top of the suitcase and struggle for a minute before finally managing to zip it up.

Straightening her back and cracking her neck she let out a shriek as she noticed a man at the other end of the aisle to her. Freezing like a deer in headlights she observed him as her left hand clutched her suitcases handle and her right her rifle.

The man was tall, standing at what she' assume was about 6'1 whilst she stood shorter giving her a disadvantage being 5'6 which wasn't short but still put her a good head below the man. He also looked buff as if her worked out and she did not. She had noodle arms.

Slowly she backed up the man made no move towards her which she was thankful for until she felt herself bump into someone behind her. Hands slightly shaking she turned her head and was met with another man looking down at her, his eyes cautious and full of suspicion.

Trailing her eyes down his entirely black outfit she noted that he had a gun on him, clutched in his right hand. He opened his mouth and spoke anfter a minute of there being silence "who the fuck are you?"

Imani scrunched her nose up "I'm not telling a stranger my name you Chiwawa" as soon as she spoke the man she saw before let out a laugh and the Chiwawa gaped at her like a fish.

Reaching up she gently closed his mouth before returning her hand to her suitcase and ducking around him on the opposite side to his gun making a mad dash towards the entrance.

Hearing a yell form behind her she absolutely booked it, running past three more men all who made move to try and stop her in which she retaliated by running over their feet with her now extremely heavy suitcase.

Exiting Target she didn't stop her sprint as she ran towards the malls entrance almost crying when she saw it only to let out a groan as she saw five zombies milling around the entrance.

Grabbing her rifle securely she raised it and madly shot in their general direction watching as three of them fell. The other two turned towards her and began rushing at her mouths open and arms extended, they where both quicker due o having all their limbs only missing chunks out of their torsos.

As they got close, she was able to aim better whist running and shot the first one down, before swinging the gun and smashing it into the head of the other being unable to shoot it with how close it got.

A gun sound rung from behind her, and she watched in her peripheral vision as the Chiwawa lowered his gun having shot the zombie for her. But she didn't stop, she kept going until she reached her Jeep unlocking the boot and hauling her suitcase up as quickly as she could, "come on noodle arms" she whispered as she managed the shove it in closing the boot.

Running around to the correct side of the car this time she hauled herself into the driver side turning her head to look at the men, noting the Chiwawa's eyes narrowed on her car.

"Wait!" one of them yelled out, a blond-haired man wo looked like he could be a VS model. She'd tap that. "Thanks for the help but no thanks" she yelled as she reached to close the door of her car.

The Chiwawa finally spoke yelling "that's my car!" Imani blinked, she hadn't expected to meet the old owner of her car so soon "Mine now so fuck you bitch!" she screeched before fully slamming the door shut, turning on the car and driving away at full speed.

Fuck him, it was her car now and she had even named it, Dave. Stepping on the go go pedal she stopped as the tires spun and looked down in confusion "oh, I didn't put it into drive."

Pushing the PRNDL into drive she sped off down the road rolling down the windows as she blasted her music through the Bluetooth. As she drove, she swerved left and right hitting zombies as she went, it was too hard to play eye-spy or spotto alone, so this was the next best thing.

The point system was simple, crawling zombies / half mutilated zombies where one point, walking zombies no limbs missing where two and the ones that still had some sense and ran where three. If she hit a living human, she either deducted five or gained five, how she would choose who knows.

Swerving to hit another zombie as she sang along to Nelly Furtado 'Maneater" god she fucking loved this song "I wanna see you all on your knees, knees. You either wanna be with me or be me!" She all but screamed the lyrics to the song bopping as it came to an end.

Flipping down the sun visor she checked her hair in the mirror making sure her locs still looked good and her makeup was holding up – thank the goddess' for Urban Decay setting spray.

Turning her eyes back to the road she let out a screech as she hit the breaks coming to a screeching halt as the front of the car bumped a man causing him to fall a gun clattering to the ground from his hand.

Imani had several thoughts and in that moment her brightest one was to immediately hit the button to roll up the window and turn to her tally of stickers covering the dashboard adding five scratch n sniff stickers.

Pulling the gearstick into reverse she was about to make a quick get away before the man suddenly shot up off the ground yelling at her in a language where the only words she understood where the swear words – she could swear in almost every language but was currently only fluent in Dutch, English and Bitch.

"Ty tol'ko chto udaril menya, zasranets!" Imani squawked at him "Asshole!! How dare you I am not a zasranets, you are!" Man she needed to work on her comebacks – the man looked at her in surprise changing his tone in an instant "You know Russian?"

Imani shook her head at him lowering the window slightly so she didn't have to yell back "No, I can only swear in Russian". The man let out a laugh "That is all you need moya Zhena, you should come with me I will introduce you to moy zuha. We have much fun together."

Imani blinked slowly, "Sorry for nearly hitting you with Dave, but 'm good thanks love." The man seemed to almost pout which looked strange considering he also looked like he could kill you with his pinkie.

"You did not almost hit me you very much so hit me I am bruised, now you owe me and must come meet moy zuha, he will also be yours soon – I get rid of Dave first". Imani giggled, "Bruised? Poor baby want me to kiss it better? And Dave is my car so no you are not getting rid of him" When he nodded at being kissed better, she let out a snort.

"Maybe next time baby." Pulling out her sunglasses she slid them onto her face and wiggled her fingers at him before reversing and moving back onto the road off the sidewalk she had veered onto turning her music back up.

Driving away she glanced back and saw another male rushing over to the man from across the street, maybe that was who he said was her moy zuha. Blinking she focused back on the road – she was meeting way too many new people today and her social battery was saying no.

Adding a few more stickers onto the dashboard as she drove, she really hoped she wouldn't meet any more people.

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 26 ⏰

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