Our Game

29

TW: mentions of r*pe, ab*se and graphic stuff

"Panic attacks, insomnia, depressive episodes, flashbacks, episodes of derealisation and isolation, cold sweats" The psychologist reads out from the list on her computer, "Athena you're not okay"

"Yeah that's kind of why I'm here", I say bluntly.

I didn't want to do therapy, my the old man said it's best that I sort things out. I've come to realise that this family doesn't do emotions very well so I'm at least grateful that there was some concern for my history.

That's the other thing, they know. No one makes it awkward or brings it up randomly but when Alejandro picks me up from the psychology office every Thursday I can't help but feel embarrassed. The first time he did bring it up was because apparently Nicholas had an alarming amount of concern for my situation and if he did he certainly didn't show it.

Dario is of course very open to me, he enjoys talking my ear off and actually noticing my existence but Nicholas feels awkward, like he doesn't know how to talk to me, still I appreciate the concern.

The psychologist deadpans, "And how are the exercises I've given you? Have you updated your journal?"

The same questions. Every week, the same thing, same criteria, the same answers. It's like running a marathon but going nowhere. 

She sighs heavily, "Your Father doesn't want me prescribing you any medication but could you at least try to cooperate and engage in the therapeutic excercises?"

I stare at her for a few seconds too long, noticing her dry lipstick and outgrown roots, "Yeah I'll try, I don't know", yeah fuck she probably knows that I've been zoning out every time that she talks. I can't help it, she doesn't want to help me for the sake of helping but more so for a paycheck.

She writes something down in her journal, "I'm going to have to refer you to someone else, a specialist in these sorts of circumstances. I'll be in contact with your Father about his decisions for you, have a nice rest of your day".

I bite back a smile, "You too". 

Opening the door to the waiting room I find that Alejandro is no longer there, but now Dario. I turn my head in confusion but he only says he'll explain in the car. I nod diligently and follow after him. 

"Are you going to tell me what happened or are you just going to continue brooding and give nothing?" I deadpan.

He turns on the ignition and mutes the radio, "A base got attacked by the Italians, Alejandro's gone to deal with it so in the mean time I'm on baby sitting duties", he looks at me with an unimpressed expression.

I scoff, "As if that's a bad thing, you're lucky to be in my presence", I smirk and tilt the chair back slowly making sure to keep eye contact. "No but seriously was it bad?"

"Whole place went up in flames, a couple of cops got killed it's all over the news I think they're gonna have some sort of ceremony for the people that died"

"Fuck", my eyes widen slightly, "What time did it happen?"

"I don't know that much kiddo but it was like past midnight"

"And they only just found out now?"

"Well they had no tech to alert them about it and when someone found out they were too pussy to tell Nicholas so it was a whole thing" He rolls his eyes.

"To be fair I'd be scared too"

He pushes my head to the side playfully, getting hair in my mouth, "How was therapy?"

I immediately stop smiling even if he didn't mean it seriously I still don't want to talk.

"Don't worry I don't really care that much", Dario mumbles and I start to feel bad.