A Letter Never Sent

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Dear Y/N,
I'm not sure what happens now. All I know is that I don't trust the people in charge here. There's something off about them. That's why I'm writing this now. If I get chosen find a way to get out of here without me because I don't want to be the reason you don't make it out. If they do take me I know it'll be okay because you'll be the last thing I think about. That is more than enough to make whatever happens okay. Because you give me strength and something to fight for without even realizing. You're everything to me.

Unfortunately, there's been a lot that's happened so I never told you the truth. I'm in love with you. Ever since I first saw you I just knew it.

I had just come up in the box, confused and not even knowing my name. It was freezing, and my jacket was no help for the snow falling on my face. I was terrified. I didn't know where I was, and I couldn't remember no matter how hard I tried.

Then, I looked up to see you with your hand out. Just like that everything felt better. As I looked into your eyes I just knew that you were special.

Your hands were warm and soft. I still remember the way I held on just a little too long. I remember everything about that day.

Even if you don't feel the same way I can't risk you never knowing. So here it is. No matter what happens it will always be you. It always was from the beginning. Nothing and nobody in the world can compare to what you are. To your beauty, your smile, your laugh, your heart, and just everything about you.

No matter the outcome I need you to understand that I don't just love you. I am in love with you, and now all I can do is hope you feel at least half of what I do.

Love,
Aris Jones

I re-read the letter over and over. By now the words were smudged by the amount of tears drops that had fallen onto the page. I couldn't let go of it though. Even though it feels like a knife to the chest every time I even hear it crinkle in my pocket I couldn't toss it away. Even out in the Scorch it was the only thing keeping me going in a messed up way. It was my only connection to her, and I needed that.

I need her, but she's not here. So all I have is this stupid letter that I guard with my life.

It was the only thing I had to remind me of her. Even then it could hardly be counted as that. It had never touched her fingertips or been seen with her eyes. It had never made her feel something, whether it be good or bad. It was meant for her and her alone yet that couldn't happen.

I had to hold onto something though, because the memories didn't feel like enough.

One day, if I live through all of this, I will forget her face. I will forget her calming voice and the way her eyes looked when she glanced at me across the room, twisting my stomach into knots yet putting a smile on my face.

No matter how hard I try I know that memories fade. This was the only thing I had left.

If only I had given her the letter before she had been called.

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