Aris Jones X Reader One Shots

In My Head

"Daisy's always want attention but don't know what to do when they get it."

Sometimes I think that I want to be noticed. Not just as a boy in the Maze full of girls, not as the one that had been there the longest, but as me. I want to be noticed for who I am as a person. Other times the thought that someone sees me makes me sick to my stomach. Not being seen is the only reason that I'm alive. As long as I didn't cause problems nobody in the Spring would try to hurt me, Harriet and Sonya had my back, WCKD hadn't been suspicious of me, I learned the truth, and even if life sucks right now I get to see another day.

Y/N just got attention. Not because of anything she really did, but because of lots of small things.

She's pretty which is naturally the first thing to catch your attention. The kind of pretty where you find yourself looking without realizing when you first meet her. Even some of the people in her Maze seemed to. She was smart. The kind of smart that kept you intrigued. She would tell you all these bits of knowledge that your mind just wanted to hold on to. She was funny. Not in a way where she was constantly making you laugh. She just said witty things that made you feel normal for a moment.

Most of all though, she was kind. Like me she had lost her entire Maze, but she still kept an eye on you. She could see if something was wrong. She would just stay by your side as if to silently say that you weren't alone. She would give you her water no matter how many sips she had left. She would offer her food as if she had an infinite supply.

That's why it was no wonder that some people looked at her. Frypan and Winston seemed to be drawn to her, as if she was pulling them out of the shadows. Minho, despite being firm on being only a leader for the group, would glance at her through the corner of his eye when he thought that nobody was looking. Newt would do the same, as if he wasn't dead set on protecting everyone. Thomas was always looking at Teresa so he didn't, but he seemed to be the only one.

I could also be imagining it. I could be projecting in my own, weird way. Maybe as a way to deal with knowing that everything else was all in my head.

She wasn't looking at me. I'm sure of it. It was just a coincidence that I would feel her gaze and look up only for her to look away. It was all in my head, and I need to accept that. I'm sure that she didn't mean to brush her fingers against mine when she walked beside me. She probably didn't even mean to walk beside me those times. I was just overanalyzing it.

To be unrealistic for a moment, even if I wasn't what would I do? I don't get noticed. I'm nobody's first choice. Rachel connected with Annie in the Spring, and they acted like they had known each other since birth. Harriet and Sonya had been together for longer than I can even remember knowing someone, and it was clear that they would always have that bond. The Gladers each had their own friendships or "friendships". It was Teresa and Thomas. It was Minho and Newt. It was Frypan and Winston. Y/N could be anyone's if she wanted to.

Me though?

Not me.

I'm not upset about it. If my life wasn't like that I wouldn't even be here to experience more of it. It's just as basic of a fact about me as my eyes are blue or my hair is brown. I'll never be the first choice, and that's alright with me. I've made my peace with it.

Sure. Sometimes I do wish to be looked at instead of through, but it's okay. Besides, I wouldn't have a clue what to do if I wasn't.

"You okay?"Y/N whispered, pulling me out of my mind and into reality. Glancing at everyone asleep around us, I realized how long I had been in my head again.

"Yeah,"I shrugged.

"You sure? You looked lost for a moment."

"What do you mean?"

"You just look like your head wanders. Like you go somewhere nobody is allowed,"She shrugged.

"No. I'm just . . . here,"I trailed off.

"Physically yes, but mentally, where are you?"

"I don't know,"I answered honestly. Giving a nod, we just went back to staring at the fire. All the while I kept pretending not to notice the way she was just barely shifting closer or her hand almost touching mine. I stared at the fire while reassuring myself that it was all in my head.

"You're brave, Aris. You're kind too. You know that, right?"She asked.

"Yeah. Sure,"I lied.

"No. You don't, but you should. You should know the good things you have,"She whispered, placing her hand over mine. Refusing to even acknowledge it, I avoided eye contact.

"Aris?"

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you let people get close to you?"

Not knowing how to explain it all to her, I remained silent. Pulling her hand away, I expected her to leave.

I didn't expect her to place her hand on my jaw to turn me to face her. I didn't expect her to be right there.

"I want to be close to you,"She confessed, making my heart race. Moving closer, her lips were practically on mine. It would be so easy to kiss her. It would make sense, be logical even. If one of us just leaned forward another inch I would know what it was like. I could find out if her lips were as soft as they appeared. I could find out how long she would kiss back.

Her palm was still pressed against my cheek, making me want to melt in her touch. She wants to kiss me. I want to kiss her. This is such an obvious decision. It's literally less than two inches in front of my face.

No. It's not.

She doesn't want me. Not really. I go unnoticed. That's just who I am. That's just how I survive. That's all that I know. I can't jeopardize that.

Pulling away, I didn't say anything as I just laid down and pulled my knees to my chest to go to sleep, facing away from her. She didn't say anything about it either. She just whispered something that I couldn't make out before standing up and walking away.

I want attention. I truly do.

I just don't know what I'm supposed to do when I get it.