NOT MY ALPHA {+18}

Mackenzie

Mackenzie

I ran my broken little heart out.

I'd never been a gym person but I was a runner.

I'd been running my whole life.

But it didn't make a damn difference to the thoughts running through my head.

I had let Ryken go down on me. I had gone down on him. Like we weren't enemies.

An experiment was forcing me to be there but we didn't have to get personal. Letting him down there with his mouth, going near him with my mouth, that was personal.

And I had loved it.

I pushed the button on the treadmill, speeding the machine up and me with it. I needed the punishment. I was clearly having some kind of mental breakdown.

It was the only way to explain how much I had enjoyed Ryken between my thighs and inside me.

A momentary lapse in judgment.

One I couldn't wait to repeat.

I forced myself to run faster, ignoring the beeping on my wrist and the sweat dripping from my forehead.

I needed to feel everything burn, to get rid of all the thoughts my greedy body was feeding my depraved brain.

So I ran. And ran. And ran.

And ignored the fact that Ryken was shirtless, sweaty, and working out in the corner of the gym opposite me.

Directly in my field of vision.

He was on his 150th pull-up. Not that I was counting. I was ignoring.

Ish.

Okay, maybe my eyes were watching and my pussy was dripping but my brain was not on speaking terms with either of those appendages because of it.

I ran harder, my chest tightening as my breath heavied.

There was no music playing, only puffs of breath and grunts as everyone worked out.

Some people were there when we got to the gym this morning. Some had arrived after but now that everyone was here, it was awkward as hell.

We all knew what the bell had meant.

We were all living in the aftermath of that.

Even the usually obnoxious Viking was silent, his eyes drifting to Hope as she smashed her taped fists into the boxing bag hanging from the low ceiling.

The gym had every workout option available, spread out over gym mats that made up the floor. It was all black and white with LED strip lighting lining the corners and the square room at the bottom and the ceiling.

The lighting was harsh and artificial like everywhere in The Nexus. I'd kill for some sun on my skin or even some fresh air but I was guessing that was asking for too much.

My feet hit the treadmill at a steady beat as I ran alone. I was the only one alone.

The humans were sparring, boxing, Hope looking determined to break the boxing bag from its ties to the ceiling.

Ryken was with his pack by the weights. Viking was deadlifting more than my body weight while Dana used the machine, toning her already-toned legs. Sullivan was pumping his biceps, checking them out with every pull-up of his dumbbell.

The rogues were even grouped, on the rowing machines.

And I was running, like usual.

It didn't hurt any less than any other time but I was used to it. The yearning for more than that, for a pack or family that gave a shit. Something I would never have.