Beastly Desires

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Colette scribbled away at a piece of parchment. She couldn't wait any longer as she wrote a letter addressed to Gregorie. Sébastien had opened her eyes to something. Something she had been suppressing for the last couple of days. She knew Gregorie was waiting for her return but it wouldn't be anytime soon. She didn't want him to worry about her but that she was safe and well taken care of. That she would return to him as soon as she was able to and fulfill her promise. She didn't really understand the feelings she felt for him but she had hoped he would be able to make light of them despite her past refusals. She knew that she felt something for him. It was a new feeling of sorts. It usually left her feeling warm and odd in the lower part of herself she boldly admitted on paper. She also wrote about her fathers condition and where they currently resided at. She chose to omit Sébastien's secret and referred to him as a kind, older Lord who took them both in. It wasn't entirely a lie. Sebastian was older than her and he was kind. Most of the time.

Colette wrote the last few sentences before signing her name and rolling up the parchment. She tied it off with a gold ribbon and gave it to Niel, who promised to get it to Gregorie the morning after tomorrow. How that was possible she left it to the old man.

Her father was doing well and stayed in bed most of the day. She had gone in to read to him once and feed him lunch. He needed help to relieve himself and Colette would call in Niel to help. He could only get him to the edge of the bed and would hold out a tin bucket between his legs.

Colette imagined what her life would be like living with Gregorie at his estate. Would she wait on her father constantly or would he be provided servants to care for him. Would she forget about him completely while she and Gregorie rolled around in the stable on warm summer days. Would he live in pain for the rest of his life? The future seemed so full of worries she didn't have the energy to think about.

And then there was Sébastien. He had her heart wrenching with empathy one moment then seized with fear the next. He was like a churning, black Sea and she was a small boat riding out the waves, praying their obsidian claws didn't pull her down into its dark abyss.

She was grateful for the truth. Grateful she left that foyer alive and intact. She still clutched the knife when she finally found her way back to her room. The feral tone in his voice as he snapped at her turned her legs into jello. She found it amazing how she was even able to stand after his fit.

She felt sorry for him. It obviously didn't excuse what he had done to Celeste but the punishment that was inflicted on him spoke volumes. He regretted what he had done. What he had taken. She wasn't his yet he claimed her. She wondered if the witch knew he would succumb to his desires and possibly led him on to fulfill some sick game of hers. Or if by some otherworldly magic, Celeste became the pain in which she endured and cursed him and everyone he cared about.

Colette didn't let that thought linger as her stomach rolled over in protest. She forgot that lunch was a couple nibbles of bread and a whole platter of regret and rage. Neither which filled her belly.

...

After stuffing her face with more cheese and bread, as well as some cured meats she found herself leaving the kitchen full and laughing. Aarav had her clutching her stomach as he continued his impression of Niel behind her. His lighthearted spirit made her feel less alone in this giant castle. He was easy to talk to. Easy to like. She didn't find it at all wholly terrible that he and Beatrice shared something intimate together. Everyone has needs. Even... those sort of needs. All we have is each other in the world. A friend is better than the voice inside your head.

She wondered if Sébastien felt alone in the world. Alone in this castle. Yes, he had Niel and Beatrice and Aarav but was he content with just them? Was he happy? Satisfied? Did he have those sorts of needs? Or did they stop when the curse was placed on him.

And if he did desire the intimacy of another, how would... did he even have a... was it... normal looking? Colette dared not think about what was between his legs and focused her imagination elsewhere. The fact that her mind had even gone there baffled her.

"Niel."

The butler greeted her at the top of the stairs. He had a small parchment in his hand which he extended out towards her. She took it and read its contents.

Be careful. His Lord's desires can overtake him anytime of day. Do not stand too close. Do not show too much interest. Do not touch him. Lastly, do not under any circumstances be alone with him at night. Lock yourself in your bed chamber and do not open the door for anyone.

Colette stared at the butler with serious eyes. She already disobeyed two of the requests. She practically declared the second request an hour or so ago.

"Okay," she nodded slowly.

If Niel was concerned for her well being then maybe she should distance herself from Sébastien for the rest of the day. She hadn't exactly befriended the beast but she did feel a little less threatened by him since their earlier encounter. Maybe she was foolish to feel such an emotion toward him. He was a beast. A monster. And from what he said and from what she saw, the control he had over his rage was minuscule.

The butler gave her a halfhearted smile before taking off down the stairs.