SIN: Valeria Caruso

32: Kabit

Valeria

"It takes a man and a woman ♪ And one magic moment to ~♪ Know they're in heaven ♪♪ It takes a man and a woman ♪ To feel what we're feelin' and ♪♪ Ain't it a miracle ~~ That you'd take a woman like me ♪♪ To love a man like you ♪♪♪~~"

"WOOH!" Ngumiti ako sabay palakpak kay Arden nang mag-ala-Sarah Geronimo siya sa office ko. Soundproof naman ito kaya kahit tumili siya ay hindi maririnig. Plus, she has a good voice, so there's no need to feel embarrassed.

Huwag nga lang talaga ibigay sa akin ang mikropono at literal na magkakalat ako.

"Grabe naman 'yung energy mo, nakaka-overwhelm sobra." I raised an eyebrow, detecting the sarcasm in her voice. She sat beside me while I nibbled on a chocolate crossini. It's lunchtime for us.

"Ang drama, 'ah." I chuckled softly. Naririnig ko ang paglipat ng panibagong song sa phone niya. "Just eat your lunch."

"Para kasing ang dami mong iniisip." she commented. I sighed and sipped my espresso. Arden really knows me well. She reads me like an open book.

"I can't help thinking about it, Arden," I glanced at her and she was already looking at me, listening intently. "This one is... very serious."

Hindi ako mapalagay kanina pang umaga. Noong umalis ako sa estate ni Zevran, pinag-usapan namin ulit 'yung nangyari sa amin kagabi. Sa sinabi kong iyon, seryoso na ako. I didn't expect him to be serious too. He insisted on being the one to tell Livia the truth and asked me to stay out of it. What stuck with me the most was when Zevran said he would take full responsibility for everything. That no matter what happened, he would shield me from any consequences.

But that's not possible either. May kasalanan rin ako sa kahit anong anggulo mang tignan. I'm his mistress. A snake. An escabeche or whatever they call it. I know what I did wrong. At hinahanda ko na ang sarili ko para sa mga posible at imposibleng mangyari. I also know that owning up to my mistakes doesn't automatically absolve me of my sins. Naka-depende pa rin ang hatol ko sa mga taong nasaktan ko.

Nasabi na kaya niya? Fuck. It's hard. It's really damn hard.

"You can tell me, girl. You know you can trust me, right?" Arden asked sincerely. I smiled genuinely at her. "If you want to or whenever you're ready to share, just come to me." She smiled back, and it reached her eyes.

"Arden..." pakiramdam ko ay maiiyak na ako. I took her hand and held it.

"Mm?" She leaned closer to me and put her hand on my shoulder.

I swallowed. "I-If you ever... just ever..." I took a breath. "Let's say you know someone... and then--- t-then they told you that..." my voice cracked as tears suddenly welled up.

"Huy, why are you crying?" She quickly grabbed a tissue, and I remained bowed down. Pakiramdam ko ay isa akong teenager na babae na kausap ang mama niya. Damn. I'm such a crybaby. "Ano ba, bakit ka biglang umiiyak? Pinapakaba mo ako. Ano ba kasi nangyayari?" confusion and worry were evident in her green eyes.

"W-What if... someone told you that..." it felt like a huge boulder was lodged in my throat again. "What if someone told you... that... they're having an... a-affair?"