SIN: Valeria Caruso

24: Antipathy

Sinampal ko siya.

There are countless actions my hands or lips could have done, but my fate and mind couldn't stop me from doing that thing. Perhaps, it was just really what I want to do. One of the common reasons why a person slaps someone because they are angry. Because they've had enough. Sa sitwasyong ito ay isa iyon sa mga dahilan ko. I want Zevran to know, even if I don't say it directly and even if he doesn't hear the words I know he won't like --- he needs to know that I don't like him. No, that's the only answer I can give to what he said.

"How did that slap assist in snapping you back to reality?" With just one slap using my right hand, it left a violent and intense impact on his cheek. It turned red, and I could see the mark of my palm. "This will be the last time I hear such a joke from you, Zevran. If you just want to mess with me, then just fuck off. If you're looking for a playmate, go to the playground. Hindi ako nakikipag-biruan sa 'yo." 

His eyes softened, there's a glow in his eyes that I now hate to stare at. Kinuha ko ang mamahalin kong Saint Laurent duffel bag and searched for my cigarette case inside it, but I cursed when I found none.

"Do you think it's hard for you to be liked?" I heard him say, but I ignored it. I rummaged through my duffel bag, but damn it, I couldn't find anything. Narito ang lighter ngunit paano ko naman gagamitin iyon kung wala ang sisindihan ko.

"Give up on finding that thing. I threw it away earlier," he said, causing me to stop immediately. I stared at him intensely and threw my duffel bag far away. Clenching my fist and furrowing my brows, itinulak ko siya ng malakas.

"You really want all of this to happen, huh?" I asked him while gritting my teeth. He just looked at me calmly, though I could see his lips slightly turn up. "All right. Suit yourself." Without uttering another word, I took my cellphone and looked for Livia's number.

"I'm going to call Livia and tell her all about the cheating you're doing to her," I told him. I looked at him and he didn't even speak. I creased my eyebrows when he just stared at me and there was a slight flush on his cheeks.

"What? I'm going to announce your infidelity to Livia and you won't even stop me?"

Napapitlag ako nang biglang ilapit niya ang mukha niya sa akin. I almost dropped my own phone because of it. He gazed at me intensely, yet tenderly, it lingered. I looked at his lower lip.

"Do it," he said seriously as if he wanted me to do it. He stared at me intently, repeatedly signaling me to do it. He didn't blink and he just calmly stared at me. I didn't see any fear or apprehension in him. Fuck. Ano pala ang naitulong ng sampal ko kanina? That was supposed to provoke his anger towards me, but what's happening?

Hindi ko namalayan na nahulog na sa aking palad ang phone ko. Tumingin siya roon ngunit hindi siya bumalik sa kaniyang puwesto.

"W-What are you doing to me?" I whispered. His lips parted slightly, and his expression more softened.

I straightened up and leaned back as I gradually felt the warmth in my eyes. I looked ahead so he wouldn't see my tears falling.

"You keep cheating on my sister..." my voice cracks. "What satisfaction do you get from that? Have you really lost all self-respect? To Livia...?" Tears continued to flow one after another. I immediately covered my face with both palms. I quickly wiped them away as they kept falling. "You like her... and you like me too. She loves you --- goodness, you love each other. For Christ's sake, you only have one heart, Zevran. Maawa ka naman kay Livia."