wistful kisses

Kiara

It's been more than an hour since Raj dropped me and I have been waiting for Shaurya since then. Where the hell is he ? What is he doing ? While sitting here , I had nothing to do so my mind started filling up with the images about what we did before he left. I can't believe I not only didn't stop him but also I was the one who initiated the kiss. All my life I hated any male interaction. I was never comfortable with physical touches thanks to my rainbow induced past which had every color of sorrow. So the fact that I actually wanted him to touch me, to do as he wishes with me is a bit concerning. And who am I kidding. I have hidden away my intrusive thoughts and dark desires from the world and myself since forever. He opened that pandora box the day he stole my first kiss. And now even I am not sure what will come out of it and make me lose control. Make me the servant of my desires. Make me destroy this carefully laid wall around me. The way he touched me as if he owned me woke dark things in me. The sense of belonging started blooming in my chest. I never belonged to anyone, anyplace. All my life I was just a intruder. Intruder in my home. Intruder in my parents' well build life. Intruder in the Bansal Group of Industries. All this thoughts are confusing me more. It is like a black hole trying to suck me in. I try to stand up but fail miserably. Maybe the reason behind is the half filled bottle of Vodka sitting on the table. I wasn't planning to get drunk but my legs took me to the bar in Shaurya's office on their own accord and I couldn't stop myself. I did change back into his T-shirt again because I couldn't stop myself again. I try again and this time a do it though swaying in the air. 

"Why does the air fill so stiff ?" I take a deep inhale and start towards the steps trying to not fall again.

"That jerk can stay outside for all I care."

Once reach the first level I start going towards my bedroom but stop dead when I see light coming from the guest room. Who is in there ? I go there and peep inside. I may be drunk but not idiot to go in where there can be any potential threats. There's a man sitting inside with something on his lap. Oh on top of his lap that means a laptop. I go inside and he raises his head locking his gaze on me. And my breath hitches. Shaurya ? 

"How- What What are you doing here ? I ask stuttering .

"I am not in the mood , princess. Just leave ."

What did he just say ? Leave  ? As in he asked me to leave ? Idiot, Stupid , jerk. I march towards him and he doesn't even bothers to look up at me. 

"I was waiting for you since an hour downstairs and you couldn't even inform me that you were back home."

"Why do you even care ? "

"I don't care. I was just - I was just"

"Spare me and yourself this bullshit, Kiara "

Kiara ? He called me Kiara and not princess. I don't think much as I turn off all the lights including the lamps near his bed and snatch away his laptop and keep it on the table.

"What are you doing ?" He asks, frustration clearly dripping in his voice. I don't focus on it go and sit on his lap facing him. I can't see his face thanks to the darkness but can feel his body going stiff. He clearly didn't see this coming . 

"Everything you shouldn't have done, bubbles "

"Bubbles ?"

"Why ? Only you are allowed to go around throwing nicknames." I say and start undoing his shirt. He hasn't changed yet and I can smell coppery scent of blood on him. But that isn't something new for me so I continue untill I reach the last button. I open his shirt and his can feel his chest heaving. Those erratic heartbeats never slowing down for once. I want to put my head on it and hear him all night long and I am exactly contemplating on doing it when he clutches my right hand which is holding his shirt apart.

"Are you drunk ?"

"No, I am not drunk " I say in slurry and even I won't believe myself right now, let alone him.

"Don't lie . Let me take you to your room." He tries to get up but I push him back so that he is lying on the bed with me on the top.

"No"

"What are you doing princess ? Don't start something you can't finish."

"I said I am doing everything you shouldn't have done." I remove his shirt and then go ahead and remove the T-shirt I am wearing too. I have the real person right now to give me all the warmth I need.

"You shouldn't have did that , bubbles "

"What are you talking about , princess ? "

I kiss him. I kiss him hard and there's no other invitation he needs. I put my hands on his chest right where that thing is pumping so fast. He thrusts his tongue in my mouth. I may be the one to start the kiss but he is dominating it. He grabs my throat and his fingers spread on my neck and kisses me with an insane and feverish control. He is kissing me as if I have no choice but to take it. I bite his lips and he bites back harder until a coppery taste explodes in our mouths. No idea whose blood it is. His or mine. The kiss gets more powerful with each passing second until I am sure it will consume me completely. His other hand wrap around my waist and he squeezes me in him as if trying to make me fit in somewhere inside him and turns us so that no he is on top of me. My soft curves getting crushed by his hard ridges.  I can feel him getting harder, that thing is poking my thighs. I always though that I could run away from the monsters of my life. Turns out I ran into a devil. And maybe I don't want him but he is exactly what I need. Finally, he leaves my lips leaving them puffy and swollen. 

"You shouldn't have kissed me , bubbles " I say and push him. He lets me and we go back to the position where I am again on top of him. He looks at me with so much heat that I feel myself melting in his hold. I kiss at the corner of his lips. And he takes a sharp breath. I don't stop and go ahead and trail kisses all over his chin and neck the same way he did to me. I nibble and suck in at every point and then go back to his lips.

"You shouldn't have done this , bubbles."

"And yet I did it and would do it an heartbeat again."

I kiss him again and he gets his cue to kiss back and this time I pull him on me and let my hand roam all over his back and shoulders. I hold his shoulders and sink my nails in his skin. He arches into me but doesn't leave my lips. I can feel the skin around my nails breaking and blotches of blood around it. His blood. Then I sink my nails somewhere on his back and bite his lips again. This goes on for an eternity before he leaves my lips again. I lift myself up and bite at the place where his shoulder and neck meets .

"You shouldn't have marked me as yours , bubbles " 

"You are mine, princess. And now I am all yours ."

"You shouldn't have killed him. He was the only way through which I could reach her"

I close my eyes. Somewhere in the background I hear him asking who is her and everything about her but I can't tell him so I let sleep take me away.