amnesia ↠ l.h

Chapter 30

Everyday, the same thought hit me; what if he missed me so much that he would come home. What if he came home and held me against him, kiss me, took me on dates, laughed at my stupid jokes and protected me.
But then I always realised that, why would he? Why would he give up maybe his only chance to live his dream, just to be with a big failure like me?

I picked up my phone and looked at the date. He had already been gone for a week. One week and not a single little message. I knew he was gonna be busy but not so busy that he wouldn't be able to text me. Or maybe he just didn't want to since he had finally realised I'm just a waste of time. Or maybe just that I was annoying. I mean I had been sending him like 10 messages a day...
Without Luke and the boys in my life, I felt so vulnerable, weak and afraid. Afraid that something terrible would happen. When Luke was around, he was always protecting me and made sure that nothing could hurt me. Now, I haven't felt safe a second since he left.

All I could do was just wait for a miracle to happen. I walked to my room and looked over to the bedside table. A picture of Luke and me, just staring at me like it wanted to hurt me inside. Just like the voices inside my head that had been coming back.

+

Luke's POV

"Why won't she answer my texts?" I said frustratedly.

"Chill mate, maybe her phone just isn't working" Ashton said and patted my back.

"Or she just doesn't wanna answer" Michael added.

"Michael!?" Ashton said. "You're not helping!"

"Maybe it is true..." I said. "Maybe she became so upset and mad at me for leaving her that she now hates me"

"She doesn't hate you. I'm 100% sure of that" Calum said as he walked into the studio. "But as they say, heartbreak is the best song writer"

"I've never heard anyone say that. Ever" Michael narrowed his eyebrows.

Calum rolled his eyes and sat down beside me. "She will answer, eventually"

I threw away my phone and picked up a pencil. "Well let's write some songs" I said.

+

"If today I woke up with you right beside me, like all of this was just a twisted dream-" I sang. "I'd hold you closer than I ever did before, and you'd never slip away, and you'd never hear me say"

"And then the chorus again?" Calum asked to make sure.

"Yup" I answered.

"Then I think we have our next single, boys!" Michael said happily.

"I actually really like the lyrics in this one" I said and looked through them.

A man came sneakingly into the room. I guessed it was the one who ran this studio. "We'll start recording tomorrow" He said and winked.

"How do you think Alison will react when she hears the song?" Michael asked me.

"Huh? What do you mean?" I said, pretending to not know what he meant by how she will react.

"Come on, Luke. It's obvious that this song is about her. We all knew it after you wrote the first line." Ashton filled in.

I sat silent for a while and just thought of the lyrics to what would probably be our first single. "I miss her so much" I said and picked up my phone from the floor where I had thrown it earlier. No messages. "Why won't she answer me!?" I almost screamed and tears started to form in the corners of my eyes. Never in my whole life had I felt like this. It was horrible and I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to run away and never stop until I was with her again.

"Patience, Luke." Calum said and tried to calm me down.

"Love is so stupid" I mumbled.

"I know, Luke. I know" Ashton said.

"Why don't we go out tonight? Like to a club or something?" Michael suggested. "You know to like clear our minds"

I looked up at Michael and saw his big smile and knew exactly why he wanted to go out. To meet girls.

"I don't know" I said and thought about it.

"It'll be a great opportunity to forget about Alison for a while!" He said and sat down on the couch opposite the one I sat in.

"But I don't want to forget about her" I said.

"Come on, Luke"

I didn't say anything else. I just knew that if I kept refusing to go out, I'd get to hear his complaining the whole day long. He just had to look me in the eyes to understand that I had given up.

+

"I love this!" I yelled out to Calum.

"Luke, I think you should take it easy with the alcohol" Calum yelled back, trying to drown out the music.

"What!? Why would I need that?!" I said and laughed. He didn't know how drunk I was?

"I think we should go home! Think about Alison, don't you think she'll get upset if she notices that you're flirting with other girls when you're drunk?"

"Who cares? I don't need her sorry ass anymore" I said, "All she does is crying because no one loves her"

"We love her, Luke!" Calum yelled and grabbed my arm.

"Lies!" I yelled back and turned my back before walking away.

At this moment I literally couldn't care less about her or my past life back in Australia. This was a start of my new life. Music and our band were the only important things now. I didn't have time for some stupid girl?

"Luke let's go" Calum said as he had catched up with me.

I didn't say anything, I just punched him in the face. And the next thing I know, I got thrown out. Great.

Suddenly my phone rang. It was some weird number that I couldn't recognize, so I declined the call. For some reason, I then threw the phone as hard as I could in the ground, smashing it into pieces.

-------------------

Jesus christ.... I am so truly sorry for the REALLY bad updating, I'll try to update it a bit more often and I hope you like this chapter!

thx ilysm :)

-malin