-Discontinued- A Guiding Hand (A Phantom Of The Opera Fan Fiction)

10 - Doubt.

-Erik-

After returning Nathalie back to the opera house I went back down to my lair. When I sat down at my desk I realized something as I looked around. Nathalie's journal, Violin and papers were left behind.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of the rather happy girl. I picked up the journal and opened the first page seeing that her name was written inside of it. I closed it back up afterwards thinking it wouldn't be a good idea to look at anything else but that.

I looked at her violin that was placed carefully on top of the piano inside it's case but not closed. I looked over at the envelopes and parchment I had. I figured it would be a good idea to write the girl a note and remind her about tomorrow as well as taking her things to her.

I wrote a simple note and sealed it I looked over at my piano to see a rose that I had been planning to give to someone else, it was darkening slightly because of it starting to die. So I had decided I would give it to Nathalie. As a gift.

I stood up and picked up her things and started to head through the different passageways but as I stepped out of one into the dark hall of the opera house I was stopped by Madame Giry. She stared at me sternly before speaking in a hushed tone.

"What are you doing?" She looked at me sternly holding a candle stick in her hand sense it had gotten late and she was probably walking around the make sure the chorus girls had gone to bed. She seemed to narrow her eyes when she noticed the things I had been carrying.

"Give these to Miss Rivera in the morning would you Madame?" I asked as she seemed a little annoyed with me before taking the things and staring at the Rose and the note for a moment before she sighed and moved along with her business. She was always such a strange woman.

-Nathalie-

It was Sunday, so we had the day off. I had slept in longer than I usually would have and I had gotten up to see only a few chorus girls were moving around and getting ready for the day.

I had gotten up and started to get dressed. Just as I was finishing and sitting on my bed brushing out my hair with a small comb I saw Madame Giry walking into the room.

She had been holding what looked to be my things. I felt my eyes widen and my cheeks grow warm when I had realized that I had left my things there in Erik's lair.

"Miss Rivera" Madame Giry walked up to me and set down the things next to me on the bed and I looked up at her before at my things. She looked at me sternly like she had known exactly what was happening between me and Erik. Well there wasn't anything really happening we just had a sort of partnership, or friendship. I don't really know how I'd describe it to be completely honest with you.

"Thank you" I said to her before she nodded and looked at my expression reform walking away. I found myself staring at the Rose with a black ribbon tied around it. And a note with what I heard to be Erik's signature red skull seal.

I turned to face these things and I looked around. It seemed that the chorus girls and I was left alone to read the note.

"Nathalie,

I greatly enjoyed our time spent together I hope that tonight, we are able to make as much progress on your piece as we did before. I'll meet you on the rooftop at midnight.

Your Friend

Erik"

I smiled and read over the note once or twice before I had looked at the Rose, though my smile faded when I realized that this looked like the Rose he had given Christine.

That's when it clicked on my head and I set down the note. I shouldn't get too excited for this, we are just working on a piece of music together and nothing more. With that I stood up and prepared myself for the day.

I had looked in the mirror after putting all my things away and I looked at my features. I frowned a bit as I thought of Christine and the many other beautiful girls. I had promised myself that I would never hold feelings for a man like I did before. And I intended to keep that promise. Not like anyone would even care anyways

I shook my head cursing under my breath before heading out into town for the day.

Weeks had passed we were now reaching the end of November. Snow had started to fall more often than it had before. To the point that I had to force myself to wear a cloak whenever I went outside because even now the cold had been starting to get to me a bit.

Winter was my least favorite season and I was not looking forward to the fact that it was growing closer. Winter was never a good season. Terrible things always happened whenever winter came along and I was afraid of that.

Then again I'm what people might call a jinx anyways. I'm usually messing things up for other people. I sigh and shake my head pushing those things away as I go up to the dormitories after a long day of rehearsing and I find a note sitting on the pillow of my bed along with a white and light pink colored thornless Rose sitting next to it. I blinked as I looked at the note on suspicion as I gently pick it up in my hand and read over it.

"Nathalie.

Today will be a little different, just bring yourself. I want to take a break from our writing.

Your friend

Erik"

I stared at the note and glared at the word 'friend'. I had realized a while ago that I had started to develop feelings for the mysterious Phantom of the Opera. But no matter what I did I couldn't push them away. I knew he still loved Christine and I knew he would never be able to return my feelings.

I had come to except this but I continued to be his friend and tried to help him as a friend. Sense he was still sad about Christine leaving. Sure Erik could be a little short tempered and rude at times but what Christine had pulled was not right. He had put so much time into teaching her all he knew, she threw it all away when some random guy from her passed walked in.

I frowned as I put the note away and sat in my bed staring down at the flower and the black ribbon that wrapped around it. I twirled it around in my fingers as I remembered back to the night on the rooftops and Raoul and Christine singing to each other.

No more talk of darkness
Forget these wide eyed fears
I'm here
Nothing can harm you
My words will warm and calm you
Let me be your freedom
Let daylight dry your tears
I'm here with you beside you
To guard you and to guide you.

How i longed to be able to love someone and have their feelings in return. To be honest when I saw the phantom and put together what had happened to him I instantly felt sorry for him. I wanted to help him because in that aspect I knew his pain. And here I am feeling this same pain once again again.

say you'll share with me one love one lifetime
Say the word and I will fallow you
Share each day with me
Each night
Each morning
Say you love me
You know I do
Love me that's all I ask of you.

I knew Erik only saw me as a friend, that's all he ever would consider me as.

-Erik-

I found myself sitting at my desk with my elbows on the table and my head hanging low. Why did I do this to myself? I've cornered myself once again, creating feelings for someone that would never be returned.

And I do not mean the girl that ran off with someone who came into her life last minute and only fell for her because of her voice.
I slammed my fists down onto the table and looked over to the music me and Nathalie had been writing.

I stood and walked down the stairs and along the shore of the lake passing back and forth as I was trying to calm down. I didn't want to be in a bad mood when I went to see her. But how can I when I will never be able to confess myself?! She would never be able to love this monster. I looked at the water seeing my reflection in the water. Staring at my mask I felt the anger building.

I turned around and grabbed one of the candelabras that sat on the store and threw it again the wall before I sat on the ground my head hanging low again.