Chapter 3

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Most people would call me crazy, but I was ecstatic to be back at work. It had been two days since my little make out session with Axel was interrupted by Mac. The man seemed to cloud my judgment and I was even more determined then ever to stay away from him. That was the only conclusion I came to after spending the last forty-eight hours of doing nothing but thinking about him.

I was so confused. I was so thankful that Mac decided to come check on me but I was going crazy with all the unanswered questions running around in my head. Was I just another lay to him? Another plaything? What could a man like him ever want with a girl like me, other than sex?

If Axel was bothered by Mac's impromptu visit he didn't show it. But he was when I turned down his invite to head over to the clubhouse, he stormed out of my apartment slamming the door behind him. I guess he wasn't used to the word no. Men and their egos. I could tell Mac wanted to ask but he kept his mouth shut and shifted the focus on my injuries.

Now two whole days later and I still had no word from Axel. I guess the man was only after one thing that night and it hurt to think that he got it somewhere else, that he used me. Way to make a girl feel special biker boy. But I should have known better. If there was one subject I knew about, it was bikers.

"Hey sweetheart how you feeling today?" Mac leaned against the bar asking. For a man in his late 30s he was still attractive in that older man sort of way. Hell even I could admit that his body was smoking hot, but in a purely platonic way.

"I am fine Mac, how many times do I have to tell you, stop fussing. That was not the first time I have been manhandled and it certainly won't be the last." As the word came out of my mouth, I immediately regretted them. Shit, me and my big mouth.

"WHAT. Tell me now who laid their..."

"Relax Mac, all in the past. As much as you may think so - I am not an angel. I left home at sixteen and struggled to get where I am now. My past is tainted just like yours."

God if he only knew. Tainted was a mild reality.

"Sweetheart, trust me there is no way that could be true."

Smiling I just shrugged my shoulders and continued to wash the glasses. There was no way I wanted to have this conversation with him. As of right now I liked to keep my past right were it belongs - behind me. There was no sense in bringing it up, I couldn't afford to. After all these years I just prayed that Hunter has finally given up with what ever he had planned.

"No worries Mac, I am a big girl and can take care of myself. Now here is the inventory for today, I have already stocked everything and all the glasses are washed." We chatted a few more minutes until the bar began to get crowded and I needed to get back to work. If I was lucky Mac would forget our little conversation and let it go.

Friday's were always busy and I was happy to be safely tucked behind the bar tonight. I tried not to look at the door every time it opened to see if Axel would show, but that plan didn't work. God was my life really so pathetic that I was actually waiting on a man to just make an appearance.

Apparently so.

By midnight I pretty much gave up on seeing him even though I had no idea what to say to the man.

Hi you kissed the fuck out of me and I liked it?

It's not you its me?

See there really was nothing to say to him.

Getting involved with him was not an option, so I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head. Being sucked back into that world was the least smart thing I could do right now. I needed to stay under the radar and sleeping with the President of the Renegades was not my idea of laying low.

"Hey Harley, I need eight beers and one whiskey." Kelly shouted over the music. The order had me pausing for a second as I quickly glanced around the club. Sure enough at table four sat the Renegades. Dammit how did I miss them coming in?

This time however the bikers were not alone.

My heart broke as I watched a girl with long blond hair and barely any clothes on straddle Axel while she sucked on his neck. Not wanting him to see me I turned and filled the order setting the drinks on the tray.

When the hell did he come in? It didn't matter when, I guess it just mattered with who. Since the girl wasn't a dancer here she was either one of the sweetbutts or a random girl that hung around the biker clubhouse. Either way the message was clear and well received, Axel moved on. I refused to be with a man that could change his bed partners as often as his socks.

My father was like that , coming home with some cheap perfume lingering on his clothes. My mother was the same way, cheating with anyone willing. In the end their actions got both of them killed, not that I cared, they sucked as parents.

I guess what did matter was that any feelings I may have been developing for Axel were now pointless. I would never set myself up with a man like my father...a man like Hunter.

I have spent enough time at the mercy of men that I was determined to never end up back there. Men who cheated had no honor. Men who had no honor weren't worth wasting time on. Now as I stood here, watching Axel grope and kiss the blond was a real eye opener.

I didn't need this in my life, not now, hell not ever. Maybe it was time to move on, leaving was usually the best way to deal with shit like this. Out of sight out of mind. I would miss Mac but that was it...

Okay so maybe that was a lie...I couldn't deny that the man revved my engine. He effected me more than I wanted to admit. And I loved the nights when he sat at the bar.  Hell if I was honest he has had a hold on me from the moment I met him...I just didn't want him to.

"Hey sweetheart, why don't you head out. You don't need to see this this shit." It was a shame that Mac didn't have any kids, he would have made an excellent father. Always looking out for me even when I don't want him to.

"Yeah, thanks Mac. See you tomorrow." I quickly replied. This was one offer I wasn't going to refuse.

Grabbing my stuff, stupidly I glance back at Axel. This time his eyes met mine. The man had the nerve to kiss the blonds shoulders as he held my gaze. Shaking my head I threw open the door and headed home.

Yeah it might be time to move on to the next place. Relationships of any kind only caused pain and heartache.

I had enough of both to last me a lifetime.

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