Chapter 17

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This time when I woke up my head no longer felt like it was going too exploded and my body was down to a slight ache.   I decided then and there never to get drunk again.    Then again if this is what it takes to have Axel showering with me attention and affection - I might reconsider.

Speaking of Axel, the sexy biker was still by my side, not sleeping of course but doing what appeared to be paperwork, but he was still in bed next to me.

"Hey there darling...how does the head feel?"   He said with a smile.   Damn I loved his smiles.

"Um...better.   I feel human again.   Don't ever let me get that drunk again."

"Oh I don't know, a drunk Harley is a very talkative Harley."

I didn't not like the look of that smile he was giving me.   What the hell did I say during my drunken escapade? 

"Don't remember do you?"   He laughed as he set his stuff on the bedside table only to turn back to hover over me.

"Well let me enlighten you.   I believe you commented how I was sexy as fuck and how you loved all my muscles and tattoos.   You couldn't wait to run your tongue all over them."

Embarrassed I covered my face with my hands.   That totally sounded like me since I had that thought frequently, I just couldn't believe I said it out loud. 

"What else did I say?"  I mumbled from behind my hands.

"Oh how I was the only man to ever bring you to orgasm.   And those words do something to a man darling, knowing that me and only me has brought you pleasure.    I am just curious what kind of pansies have you been with if they couldn't pleasure you?   Any moron should know how to get a woman off."

Thank heavens I had my hands still on my face hiding my mortification.   For once I was embarrassed on my lack of experience, especially with a man like Axel, who I am sure has had dozens of woman.   I don't know why but that little thought bothered me more than it should.   Just because I was a freak who wasn't sexually active, it didn't mean he was.   And I was stupid to even think that this man could commit.   Men like him didn't do relationships, they fucked.   And somewhere along the like I forgot that...again.

"Can you let me up?"  I asked as I pushed him off of me, well tried anyway.

"Oh no, what did I say?   Your body just tensed up and I want to know why."

"It doesn't matter Axel, please just let me up."

"No Harley now start talking.   Why did..."

It was like watching one of those cartoons where the light bulb magically appears next to the character as the situation finally dawned on him.

"Since that night, there hasn't been any other men have there?"  He quietly asked settling in between my thighs, pinning me down even more.

With a shake of my head I confirmed his suspicions.   How could there have been.   For years I could barely look in a mirror let alone date.   It wasn't until I was around 19 that I even started exploring my own body, it was then that I found out how sensitive my nipples were.

When I was 21 I met a nice guy named Matt while I was working in a pub in Seattle.   He asked me out and I finally agreed.   He was such a nice guy but the entire time I was terrified, not knowing how to act or respond.  

When he moved in for a good night kiss I flinched back.   Thankfully he didn't say anything and he left.   The next week I picked up and moved on, too embarrassed to face him again.   The story repeats itself a few more times...that was until I met Axel. 

"So that time at the bar and then in your apartment against the wall..."

"Yeah totally not prepared for that first kiss, definitely not prepared for the full on assault.   That was why I turned you down so quickly.   Technically that was my first kiss, the one at the bar I mean.   And then, well you know - same for what happened in my apartment.   I was never so relieved to see Mac then I was at that moment."

"Christ Harley, now I feel like a bigger dick."   He softly said as his hand caressed my face.   "If I would have known, your reaction would have made sense.   You seemed so confident and unaffected at the bar, I never considered.   Christ you deserved so much more than that for your first time."

"Don't you dare apologize!   Your sneak full on attack caught me off guard and allowed you past my barriers.  It felt amazing, made me feel alive for once instead of just existing.   I freaked out and pretty much tossed you out of my place.   You reacted on that action.   I get it Axel, you are a man with needs, needs I cannot satisfy, don't worry about it."

With more force this time I tried to remove his body from mine but the stubborn man refused to move. 

"Stop trying to get away from me.   And what the hell do you mean you can't satisfy me?"

"The other girls..."

"Meant nothing.  Hell I already told you that.   My ego took a beating and I am man enough to admit that.   I was pissed when you refused my invitation and I lashed out the only way I knew how, but trust me when I tell you that they were mostly for show.   I didn't have all the facts and now that I do I feel like shit for treating you the way I did.  For that I am sorry.   Christ Harley you don't know how fucking special you are to me."

"But it would be better if we...I can't give you what you need.   Hell Axel I don't know if...if well you know.   And I can't expect you to be patient.   I know how men like you operate and I don't want to stand on the side watching you go somewhere else until I am ready."

This time when I pushed him off of me he went.   Scrambling out of bed I made it about a foot before I was thrown back down to the mattress and covered with one very pissed off biker.

"You listen and you listen closely so I don't have to repeat myself.   Yes I fucked up in the beginning but you can't hold that against me.   Now that I know the situation that won't happen again.   Since you ran I have not been with another woman, period.   I don't want another woman, I want you.   And it is bullshit if you don't think you could satisfy me, hell your body responds to me like no other.    You are mine darling, stop fighting me."

"You don't understand, what if I can't, you know...that isn't fair to you."

"Then we will take it slow."

"But I don't know how to...I don't know anything."

"Then I will teach you what I like.  We will take this at your pace."

"But your needs..."

"Will be met.  Dammit woman stop doubting me.   This is about you first and foremost.  Bringing you pleasure will bring it to me to.   I can survive jacking off in the shower if I have to, we move at your pace you got that?"

Nodding I smiled up at my big bad biker as his hand gently cupped my cheek.   I loved how careful he was with me, like I was made of glass, but I also loved how rough he was with me and well that part confused me.   You would think with my past being man handled would be a big no-no, but for some reason just the thought of this man physically taking me, hard had my body heating up.

"Now what are you thinking darling, the look on your face is turning me on."

"Just thinking about stuff."

"Oh really what kind of stuff."

"Naughty stuff...now kiss me."

"My pleasure..."

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