Fix me

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

I held his cold hands. His eyes were shut closed with bugs underneath. For the second time I saw Zach weak and sick. He looks lifeless. If it wasn't for his breathing you might think he's dead.

He squeezed my hand before opening his bright blue eyes. "Good morning, beautiful," he croaked.

I glared at him, "good morning yourself."

"Oh, come on, princess, you can't be mad at me."

"Of course I am! In fact I am furious! Do you realize how afraid and scared I was?"

He shook his head and sighed, "no. I'm sorry."

"Zach, the doctor said this is because you strained yourself too much," when he didn't answer I continued, "can I ask you to quit football?"

"No, Alex. I am not a baby. I can do football. It's been my life."

I don't even know why but that hurts. "This is your life. And if you don't leave football and other dangerous and really stupendous stuff you'll lose it!"

"I am already loosing it!" he shouted.

I was in shock. I sat down on my chair and stayed silent.

"I'm sorry," he said.

I wiped a tear that came out of my eye and I stood up, "let's not talk if we'll just end up fighting."

I can feel Zach's gaze as I walked out of the room. I went my way towards the cafeteria where I saw Jake and Chase talking with each other. I sat down beside Jake and put my head down on the table. I felt someone place a hand on my shoulder.

"I'll give you two some space," I heard Chase say. Then it was followed by a chair being moved.

"Hey, Lex," Jake cooed.

I sniffed as tears started to flow continuously from my eyes. The thought of Zach dying hurts. In fact it's so painful that I feel so numb already but at the same time my heart wants to burst out in pieces.

"Come on, buttercup, cheer up! Zach's okay," he said.

I looked at him and tears just flowed as I shook my head.

"I don't know what's happening, Alex. You have to tell me so I could help."

"He's dying."

As those words came out of my mouth I leaned into my brother for a hug as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered continuously as he held me tight.

After a few hours of explanation I just continued to cry and cry.

"You know, I can see a different Alex now," Jake started.

I couldn't reply as I started to hiccup. I know that this is painful for Jake but I couldn't stop.

"I never thought that you would fall in love after what happened to mom. You swore, I heard you that night, you swore that you would never fall in love and commit to someone because you don't want to feel the pain of being left. Before it was bitch Alex who forgot about family. But now I have Alex back. My twin sister who could smile and laugh freely and honestly. And my sister who could let herself fall in love."

"That was my fear. Fear of being left by the ones that I love," I croaked.

"I am really sorry that this happening to you, Alex. I really don't know what to say," he said and hugged me again.

-*-*-*-

Once I recovered I went back to Zach's room. Even though I am still furious I have to stay.

"Are you still mad at me?" he asked.

I just looked at him with a 'what do you think' face on.

He nodded his head and sighed, "I'll take that as a yes. Look, Alex, I am sorry. I was wrong. Football isn't my life. You are. You are my life. For the days, weeks, and months that we've been together you have been my life."

As of now I was doing those circles in my arms the way Zach does it. I didn't know what to say so I focused on the circles that I was drawing as he continued to say things. Then I realized it wasn't drawing and it wasn't circles. I started to slow down as I wrote it again. And it shocked me. The words were what I have been dying to hear and it's been there all along.

"Alex, did you hear me?" Zach asked.

"I love you too," I said.

He looked at me with shock on his face, "what? I said I talked-"

"I didn't hear that," I cut him off and walked towards him, "I love you too. You were writing I love you all along."

He was in shock and he just stared at me. I started to feel nervous and scared that that might not be what he was writing.

"Took you long enough to figure it out," he smiled.

I lunged at him with open arms as he caught me as he chuckled.

He brought my face to him and started showering me with kisses. On my nose, cheeks, forehead and lips.

"I love you," he said.

My heart fluttered and as if the animals in my stomach escaped from their cages and the volcano in my stomach is erupting.

-*-*-*-

I was lying beside Zach with his arms around me on the hospital bed.

"Why didn't you tell me soner?" I asked.

"Because it hurts."

I looked at him and saw that there was pain in his eyes.

He continued as I stared at him, "it hurts because I know that it's not going be me. Who will stay with you forever. We can't go to college together. We can't get married and have kids together."

"Kids? Why are you even..." I trailed off.

"Because I love you. When you love someone you can't help but think of a future with her. When we take Alec out I can't help but think of how much I want a family with you. Maybe it's stupid and too soon but I just pictured it," he sighed.

I just stayed silent not knowing what to say. He actually accepts his death.

"You don't know how much I wish that this is just one sided love story. It would be the guy falling for the girl but the girl doesn't love him back. All along I was ready to die. In fact I wanted to die."

Tears just started to come back.

There was so much emotion in him, pain, anger and regret. "I killed my parents."

"What?"

"I killed them. We were at the car with Ali. They took me to my doctors appointment and that's where the doctor told me that I have to quit football because I will soon be incapable to do it. Of course being a teenage boy I threw tantrums. I got so angry with everybody. My mom, dad and Ali. Ali and I were seated at the back and she was convincing me to quit and enjoy life. I got so angry with her that I started yelling. It reached to the point where mom told us to stop with dad helping her. Dad was facing us and telling me stop and he didn't see the red light."

And I know what happened next.

"I am so sorry, Zach. But don't blame yourself."

"I know. I am over it. But at times I just cant help but think that if I wasn't a stupid boy my parent would be here."

After a while we stayed quiet.

"Did you know that you saved my life?" he smiled.

"What?"

"You were that girl who I don't know who she is but kept me thinking about her. That day we bumped into each other at the airport when I got home I actually stayed up and just thought about you. Then in the morning I found myself waking up in hopes of seeing you. As the day goes by you were just the reason why I wake up. When we got together I found myself waking up with a huge smile on my face as I thought that I would be seeing my girl. My princess. I thanked God that I was able to wake up and just tease you."

I laughed with tears just flowing.

"In my ,bucketlist, if you consider it as a bucketlist, falling in love is in it. But it was a one sided love that I wanted. So it would only be me who would get hurt. Not you. You would be able to live your life normally. And I would just love you from a far."

"Too late," I sobbed.

"Yeah too late. Maybe you like bad boys," he teased.

"I don't."

"So how did you managed to fall in love with me when I have been a complete jerk to you?"

"Maybe I saw the real you."

He smiled at me and kissed my lips, "and that's one of the reasons why I love you."

My heart fluttered again as he said it.

"So what's your bucketlist?" I asked.

"I only have one," he chuckled.

"Well, that's already done."

"Then let's make one. Together."

-*-*-*-

Zach didn't stay long in the hospital although he was a bit weak to go to school yet. The others know already much to Zach's dismay and everybody seems to be still taking it all in.

"Are you sure?" I asked Zach as I watch him move around his room.

"Yes. We bought the tickets," he answered as he kept on throwing random shirts in his bag.

"Fine. But as soon as you fee-"

I was cut off by his lips pressed against mine. My arms automatically made their way to his neck as he deepened the kiss. He pushed me on the bed and started to hover on top of me with his elbows on the sided of my face to support his weight.

He pulled away with a light smirk on his face, "yes, I'll tell you as soon as I feel something."

Then he reattached his lips with mine again. My hands were like on autopilot. At first it was on his hair then next I was taking his shirt off. We pulled away from about a millisecond as Zach quickly ripped his shirt off then kissed me again. Soon I felt his hands removing the buttons of my shirt. When he reached the last button he pushed the shirt off my shoulders leaving me in my black tank top. He left my mouth and started to trail kissed from my ears, neck and collar bone.

"Zach," a ragged whisper escaped in my mouth.

He lightly bit on my sensitive part of skin on my neck as his hands roam around freely everywhere my body igniting fire in me.

I want him.

No.

Yes.

Maybe.

"Tell me to stop," he huskily whispered in my ear as he bites it.

"I can't."

His hands were now on my stomach, just right bellow my boobs.

"Alex," he urged or whisper as I shift a bit.

His hardness can be felt even in our thick clothing. Then his hands were on the hem of my top and in one swift move it was ripped off of me. Realizing that I was only in my blue bra I blushed and my hands made its way to cover my boobs.

"Any guy would feast over this. You. Are. Beautiful," he whispered.

I kissed him again and shifted our position so that I was in top of him. His hands were now in my hips moving up and down as my hands were on his hair lightly tugging it. Then I felt his hand on my ass and he lightly squeezed it before spanking. My hand made its way to his pants and I unbuttoned it.

"Stop," he pulled away.

I looked at him and saw that lust is definitely there.

He cupped my cheek, "we'll do this when we're ready."

"I'm rea-"

"Think," he cut me off.

Am I ready?

Heck no!

"No," I whispered.

He smiled at me and kissed me, "I know. I'm not ready too. I'm going to make love for the first time."

"You're not a virgin," I pointed out.

"That's just fucking and sex. If I'm doing this with you that's making love."

I smiled at him as I feel flustered over his words.

"Princess, you better get off me and put something on that chest of yours other than your cute blue bra," he teased.

I glared at him and stood up and wore my tank top.

"And I thought there was something passionate in there," I mocked him.

He chuckled, "there is. But not yet, babe."

I rolled my eyes at him.

He pated the space beside him and I took it.

"So you're done with yours?" he asked.

I nodded my head and took out a paper from my back pocket.

He started to take it but I snatched it away from him.

"Show me your's," I said.

"Later. Ladies first."

Before I could even protest he took the paper from me and started reading with me.

Bucketlist:

1) Scuba Diving

2) Bungee jumping

3) Go to a concert

4) Live by the beach

5) Jump off a building

6) Sky diving

7) Learn how to ride the skateboard

8) Ride a unicorn

9) Prank unknown people

10) Skinny dipping

11) Travel the world

12) Beach wedding

"I love number 10," he smirked.

I slapped his arm but blushed.

"Someone has to give you a beach wedding," Zach whispered.

I know by the sound of his voice he's hurting. Even I am hurting. Knowing that it's not him. Even though I want him to be.

"What's your's?" I asked him, changing the subject.

He took out a small piece of paper and showed it to me.

Bucketlist (compulsory):

1)Be happy

2)Show Alex that I love her

-*-*-*-



LATE UPDATE :( GAHHH IM HATING SCHOOL :( WHAT DO YOU WANT ALEX AND ZACH TO DO AT THEIR VACATION??? :)

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Always smile :)

Xx